Actually, I'm A Murderer

The Actually Murders, Book 1

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Actually, I'm A Murderer

By: Terry Deary

Narrated by: Adam Stevens, Anna Gilthorpe, Sam Stafford

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About this listen

'Sinister and hilarious. Great fun' SUN

'[A] smart, funny and deftly executed page turner' GUARDIAN

'Extraordinarily fun and oh-so-gripping' i PAPER

'Dark, witty . . . had me racing for the end' JANICE HALLETT

'Funny, and so very, very clever . . . the most fun I've had reading a book in a long time ' M. W. CRAVEN

'Wonderful' IAN MOORE

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A hilarious and whip-smart crime novel by the multimillion-copy bestselling author of the Horrible Histories. The perfect mystery for fans of Anthony Horowitz, Richard Osman and Janice Hallett.

Four strangers on a train. An unlikely introduction:

'Actually, I'm a murderer.'

It is 1973 and the lives of four people are thrown into turmoil when sharing a carriage with an unremarkable little man with glasses, on the night train back to Newcastle.

By the end of the following day, one of them will be dead, one will turn blackmailer and another forced to commit a crime. And all of them will be under the astute observation of Aline, the local police officer with her own agenda to fulfil.

When the body count begins to rise, the question is: just how many murderers are out there... and who will be the next victim?
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'Laugh-out-loud funny' WOMAN & HOME

'A delightful joyride of a book' SIMON BRETT

'A fun page-turner . . . a gripping book and perfect for Knives Out fans' PRESS ASSOCIATION

'Gripping, original and hard to put down' KATE ELLIS

'Witty, wonderfully paced and great fun' MATURE TIMES

'Highly original and deeply engaging' FRANCES BRODY©2025 Terry Deary

Terry DearyAdam StevensAnna GilthorpeSam StaffordLittle, Brown Book GroupThe Actually Murders

Amateur Sleuths

Crime

Crime Fiction

Dark Humour

Literature & Fiction

Mystery

Funny

Witty

Fiction

Murder

Amateur Sleuths Crime Crime Fiction Dark Humour Literature & Fiction Mystery Funny Witty Fiction Murder

Critic reviews

A crime story that's a pitch perfect mix of sinister and hilarious. Great fun

Extraordinarily fun and oh-so-gripping

This smart, funny and deftly executed page turner is sure to please

Laugh-out-loud funny

A twisting, turning, unpredictable jaunt through a murder mystery that takes 50 years to reveal its deliciously captivating conclusion. With a cast of intriguing characters and a premise so ordinary and innocuous, I found myself drawn into a dark, witty story that had me racing for the end, yet reluctant to finish! Vivid, clever, cheeky and compelling (Janice Hallett, Sunday Times bestselling author of THE APPEAL)

Actually, I'm a Murderer is the most fun I've had reading a book in a long time. Pitch-perfect in tone, funny, and so very very clever. I'd be surprised if I read anything better this year. Highly recommended (M. W. Craven, Sunday Times bestselling author of THE MERCY CHAIR)

Full of dark humour, clever reveals and irresistible pacing. Pure crime fiction fun.

[A] fun page-turner . . a gripping book and perfect for Knives Out fans

A wonderful story told with increasing pace. A cross between Hitchcock and The Beiderbecke Affair (Ian Moore, author of DEATH AND CROISSANTS)

Witty, wonderfully paced and great fun

A stunning first crime novel. Actually, I'm a Murderer is a delightful joyride of a book. Its switchback turns are managed with professional ease, so that the reader does not know exactly what happened until the very end (Simon Brett, author of the Charles Paris series)

Warm-hearted . . . immersive

Gripping, original and hard to put down. I enjoyed this book so much (Kate Ellis, author of the DI Wesley Peterson series)

One of the most surprising books I've read for 2025 . . . A cast of eccentric characters are woven in for what is a punchy and perfectly pitched story . . . so clever and fantastical

Highly original and deeply engaging (Frances Brody, author of the Kate Shackleton novels)

Most relevant

I really enjoyed the premise of the story, the fact that it wasn’t the usual run-of-the-mill murder story. Having the narrators worked really well, and all three were good. A great story which I would definitely recommend.