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Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families

Overcoming the Pain, Dysfunction, and Trauma of Growing up in a Toxic Family

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Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families

By: Beverly Engel
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About this listen

A groundbreaking guide from a leading expert on emotional abuse that reveals how one person’s harmful behavior can ripple through an entire family.

From bestselling and internationally recognized expert and therapist Beverly Engel comes Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families, the first comprehensive book to explore how emotional abuse doesn’t just affect couples—it shapes entire family systems, often damaging children in ways that last a lifetime. With decades of clinical experience and a compassionate, empowering voice, Engel exposes the unseen epidemic of emotional abuse in families, where tension, control, criticism, and shame become normalized, and every member suffers the consequences.

While emotional abuse is finally being discussed in popular culture, Engel makes the urgent case that we still aren’t talking enough about its impact on children—and how parents, both the abusive and the abused, may be unconsciously perpetuating cycles of harm. Through real-life case studies, questionnaires, checklists, and healing exercises, she provides an accessible roadmap for recognizing toxic dynamics, stopping the spread of abuse, and most important, helping victims who were or are still being emotionally abused by their families to heal.

While a strong and healthy family can provide a sense of protection and security for its children, what happens when, instead of being a port in the storm, families become the storm itself—bombarding the children with constant conflict and trauma? This is what this much-needed book is about.

Whether you witnessed your parents emotionally abusing one another, are a victim of an emotionally abusive parent, or the victim of a sibling who passed the abuse on to you, Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families will offer you the support, validation and concrete tools you so desperately need in order to heal. And if you are an abusive or abused parent or sibling who passed the abuse on to others in your family, this book will offer you compassion and understanding to help you begin to make changes that can alter your life and the lives of those in your family.

Abuse Dysfunctional Families Parenting & Families Personal Development Relationships

Critic reviews

"There are few forms of trauma more confusing than the kind that lives inside relationships meant to sustain us. In this deeply insightful book, Beverly Engel calls out the invisible architecture of emotionally abusive families—the denial, projection, scapegoating, gaslighting, and boundary violations that quietly organize a child’s inner world, the same toxic practices we see in families shaped by addiction, whether or not substances are present. Engel writes with rare clarity and compassion, stepping inside the psyche of the child who is trying to build a self within this disorienting hall of mirrors. She captures the code of silence, the shifting ground of reality in which a child learns to doubt their own perceptions And she addresses sibling abuse and its impact, such an important and too often overlooked part of trauma-engendering parenting. Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Parents is filled with down to earth wisdom and practical advice to help you start a new chapter of healing and repair so that you can leave your past in the past, where it belongs." -Tian Dayton, PhD, creator of Relational Trauma Repair (RTR) and author of Growing Up with Addiction
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