The Session: For a Successful Marriage, Avoid “The 5 R’s”! From Focus on the Family.

Here’s the link to the full article, if you want to read more:

For a Successful Marriage, Avoid These 5 Rs - Focus on the Family

Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

1. Rejection

Something happens or is said, done, not said, or not done that results in a spouse feeling rejected.

2. Resentment

Resentment is any negative emotional reaction to what you think was said or done, or not said or not done.

3. Resistance

Resistance is putting up walls and cutting off communication and relationship. Resistance is being shut down emotionally and relationally to someone.

The solution: Engage. What emotions are you avoiding? Make eye contact, have conversations. Consider getting clear by saying, “The story I’m making up in my head about ________ is _______________.”

4. Revenge

Revenge is the attempt to get even. Revenge is taking advantage of a situation or setting up an opportunity so another can feel the rejection you felt. Examples include. Revenge is the attempt to get even. Revenge is taking advantage of a situation or setting up an opportunity so another can feel the rejection you felt.

5. Repeat

A toxic pattern is to believe that because you are hurt, you have the right to be unkind and hurtful. Then you hurt someone, and they hurt you, and you are offended, and they are offended, and in that offense both parties deeply dive into the 5 Rs.

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If we are intentional in our marriages, we will have less time with or when the five R’s show up.

Making your marriage, a priority will also help prevent the five r’s from showing up.

Particularly for families with children still at home it is very important to think about what you want your children to think about marriage and what they believe in about marriage based on what they saw their parents do?

What do you want your children say someday at your celebration of life? The powerful part of that is when that day comes there is nothing that you’ll be able to do about it. However, today you can write what you want them to say, based on how you manage your own life and marriage.

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To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.