Content warning

This episode includes discussion of transphobia, misgendering and microaggressions, and a brief mention of non-consensual medical procedures performed on intersex infants. Please look after yourself while you listen.

Summary

This week I sat down with Morgs, and was such a joy. We actually met years ago working retail together (selling very overpriced cups and plates), and I have loved watching everything they have gone on to do since.

Morgs is a queer, trans, neurodivergent social worker. They were the 2023 AASW Social Work Student of the Year for a policy proposal to include gender affirming surgeries in the Medicare Benefits Scheme. They finished their master's in 2024, and they now work in child protection. They are also AuDHD, and their current special interest is dahlias (we got delightfully sidetracked).

Our topic was AuDHD and gender diversity, and Morgs brought so much warmth and wisdom to it. We talked about why autistic people are far more likely to be gender diverse, and Morgs had a beautiful way of putting it. If you already feel like you do not fit the rules in a hundred other ways, questioning the rules around gender feels like much less of a leap.

Morgs also shared something cool... When they started transitioning, a whole lot of autistic traits became more obvious, because they were unmasking femininity and unmasking autism at the same time. Finding out who they were in terms of gender helped them find out who they were as a neurodivergent person. Cool, right??

Then we got into language, which we both love. We unpacked AFAB and AMAB, why those terms get overused, and why saying what you mean is so much kinder and clearer than lumping people into boxes. We finished on microaggressions, over-apologising, and the very simple, very powerful question: what are your pronouns?

This one will make you think, and it might just help you do a little bit better.

Takeaways

• There are as many experiences of gender and autism as there are gender diverse and autistic people. You cannot assume.
• Transitioning and unmasking can happen together. Exploring your gender can unlock a deeper understanding of your neurotype.
• Say what you mean. If you mean people who have periods, say that. AFAB and AMAB are not a stand-in for someone's whole body, history or identity.
• If you get someone's pronouns wrong, apologise once, correct yourself, and move on. Do not make the other person comfort you.
• Just ask: what are your pronouns? Fewer words, less assuming, easy to practice.
• We all have room to do a little bit better. Trans and gender diverse people need cis people to meet them halfway.