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Board Stiff

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Board Stiff

By: Piers Anthony
Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
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About this listen

Be careful what you wish for... "I'm actually a smart girl who would make any man an excellent wife. But no man sees that. No man is interested in my mind or personality, just my whatevers. So here is my wish: I'm board stiff. I want Adventure, Excitement, and Romance."

So begins Piers Anthony's 38th Xanth novel, in which Irrelevant Candy looks at her reflection in the water of the shallow well and sees luxuriant midnight-black hair reaching down to her breathtakingly slender waist, matching the dark eyes in her lovely face. A torso that comes close to absolute perfection. She is man's desire. That is part of the problem. In the shallow magic of the well, she asks that her wish be granted. Something happens. A sudden whirlwind surrounds her, lifting her up and ripping off her clothing. She is changing somehow. Then she falls flat on the ground. Literally. She has been transformed into a flat, stiff board with two knotholes for eyes.

©2013 Piers Anthony, This edition published in 2014 by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc. (P)2014 Audible Inc. Epic Fantasy Science Fiction
All stars
Most relevant
It's incredibly flat and often takes meaningless detours just for the sake of a pun. I also didn't like the humor so maybe it just ain't for me.
The narrator more than often puts the wrong emphasis on words which messes up the rhythm of the text.
I got a few chapters in before I decided to let this one go.

As if a child wrote it

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