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Coming of Age

How Adolescence Shapes Us

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Coming of Age

By: Lucy Foulkes
Narrated by: Katherine Press
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Why do teenagers act as they do?

** A GUARDIAN AND TELEGRAPH BEST PAPERBACK PICK **

What we experience during adolescence shapes us for life, but psychologist Lucy Foulkes shows that too often we fear, dismiss or even try to prevent aspects of it that are crucial to our development. Drawing on decades of psychological research, and including profoundly moving interviews, Coming of Age gets beneath the recent myths and age-old stereotypes of adolescence to reveal the real reasons why teens behave the way they do.

Above all, Foulkes shows that adolescents have an extraordinary capacity for resilience, empathy and mutual support, and that even the most challenging encounters are part of an essential process of self-discovery.

'Brilliant' PANDORA SYKES
'Fascinating, moving ... clear-eyed' DAILY MAIL
'Wise and revelatory' GUARDIAN
'Foulkes is steeped in knowledge about, as well as respect for, teenage life' OBSERVER
'A wonderful and deeply moving book' MARK HADDON
'Reveals adolescence's unwritten rules' JO BRAND

©2024 Lucy Foulkes (P)2024 Penguin Audio

 Adolescent Psychology Developmental Psychology Mental Health Parenting & Families Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Teenagers Health

Critic reviews

Wise and compassionate, well-researched and straight-talking - Lucy Foulkes shows with stories and with science why the teen years are so intense, and how today's adolescents can be helped to flourish in life (Dr Gavin Francis, author of Recovery)
Compelling, useful and fascinating . . . revealing its unwritten rules and some really vital insights (Jo Brand)
A wise and compassionate book, and moving too ... I imagine I might want to reread this book when my own children become teens. But for now, I found it helped me better understand my own awkward adolescence ... Once we better understand the psychology of these awkward, in-between years we can start to be a bit kinder towards our awkward, in-between selves. And who wouldn't want that?
[An] eye-opening guide to the psychology of adolescence . . . Foulkes conducted 23 in-depth interview for Coming of Age and they are by turns funny, hair-raising and desperately sad . . . They have a sort of novelistic potency . . . Adolescence may be the first draft of personhood, but it doesn't have to be the last, as the wise and revelatory book shows
A refreshingly clear-eyed description of the forces shaping adolescent behaviour and emotions . . . teens are often viewed through a lens of judgement or morality . . . but you will find none of that here. Each short chapter is cleverly punctuated by often-moving interviews . . . Foulkes delivers a positive message . . . an eye-opening read for anyone who knows a teenager, or who has been one
Expertly distilling academic research into readable insight peppered with fascinating, moving case studies, Foulkes offers a clear-eyed, unerringly sensible and sympathetic survey of adolescence . . . there is insight and kindness throughout this book (Patricia Nicol)
Thank goodness . . . for this timely . . . and eminently sensible book . . . You will read this book and sigh in recognition . . . just knowing that everything they – and we – struggle with is normal, and necessary, is helpful (Lucy Denyer)
Excellent and insightful . . . As an academic psychologist at Oxford University who has been studying adolescent cognition for more than a decade, Foulkes is steeped in knowledge about, as well as respect for, teenage life. She expertly marshals clinical research, both classic texts and recent findings, interlaced with moving accounts from people . . . who open up about their formative years . . . It’s worth getting adolescence right because it doesn’t ever go away (Kate Womersley)
A myth-busting . . . eye-opening guide to the psychology of adolescence . . . delivers many counterintuitive insights (David Shariatmadari)
Lucy Foulkes’s wonderful and deeply moving book shows us the potentially positive aspects of adolescent experiences so often seen as negative. You will almost certainly find yourself reassessing your own teenage years (Mark Haddon, author of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time)
All stars
Most relevant
The author's genuine talent to bring the best out of experiences and teach valuable learning for adolescents and their parents.

A valuable reading for adolescents and parents

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a good level- lots of facts but not too dense. heartbreaking in places but ultimately uplifting

interesting and thought provoking

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I’ve read/listened to a few books about adolescence and this is my far the one that resonated with me the most.

Best if it’s kind

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By describing how experiences shape us at such a formative age and how small variations from the norm can persist into adulthood, this book shines a light on all of us.

I found the book both difficult to accept, particularly how critical cultural norms are to adolescents functioning and also deeply encouraging, where the most horrendous of experiences were overcome.

As a teacher of 11 to 18 year old, I have the privilege of working with adolescents every day and I recognised almost all of the scenarios covered. I think this is just the starting point as a book. I would have liked much more insight into adolescent behaviour from a biological point of view added too, why don't many like getting up for school? Why they are such exponents of fairness, passionate about causes, fiercely loyal? These themes were only briefly touched on.

Explains why we're the adults we are.

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A perfect mix of psychology principles and real life accounts. My adolescence years were incredibly difficult, in fact my 31 years on this earth have been. This book has given me a much needed understanding and reframing of those years and life to date in general. It’s helped me accept and make peace with who I was and who I am today, something which I never thought I could achieve.

A powerful read for those in search of acceptance and closure of difficult times

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