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Essays in Love

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Essays in Love

By: Alain de Botton
Narrated by: James Wilby
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About this listen

Essays in Love is a stunningly original love story. Taking in Aristotle, Wittgenstein, history, religion and Groucho Marx, Alain de Botton charts the progress of a love affair from the first kiss to argument and reconciliation, from intimacy and tenderness to the onset of anxiety and heartbreak.

©1993 Alain de Botton (P)2014 Audible, Inc. Contemporary Fiction Fiction Genre Fiction Thought-Provoking Heartfelt
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It wasn't what I expected, but it was a brilliant balance between being a novel and a psychological analysis of feelings of love.

Great

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The narrator was good but when he did the female character's voice it was a bit cringy and made her seem quite one dimensional. The story was disappointing as it seemed to cover quite trite generalities of a love story and none of the characters were likeable to me.

A bit disappointing

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Alain de Botton meticulously dissects that bizarre and complex creature: the Love Affair. He takes every emotion felt, and every action taken, and - through the magnifying glass of philosophy - analyses the whole process of falling in love. From the moment of the lovers’ first contact, through the heat of their passion, the rage of their arguments and the ridiculousness of their sulks, we hear what the philosophers - ancient and modern - have made of love.

As with everything of Alain de Botton’s that I’ve read, 'Essays in Love' is rich with ideas and beautifully written: he manages to put heart into what could otherwise be rather abstract intellectual concepts. The narrator is somewhat neurotic but in a necessary and likeable way, and I was with him through all of his trials. A wonderful book - brilliantly narrated, too - that is going to stay with me for a long time.

Not for the lonely ...

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This novel is a heartbreakingly painful exploration of romantic love which follows the story of a relationship from its tender beginnings to its bitter end and subsequent evaluation.

The relationship is that of a nameless, male narrator, who is an over-thinker, and Chloe, a highly-strung, high-maintenance, young woman. Although the affair is very petty bourgeois (they meet on a plane from Paris, have dates at art galleries and pretentious restaurants and argue about literature), it represents some common stages of many relationships, the expectations, emotions, miscommunication and various other pitfalls.

What's wonderful about the book is the forensic and brutally honest analysis of each stage of a relationship in chronological order. Also, the philosophical analysis of romantic love and the thoughts and feelings of the protagonists. Obviously, much of the analysis is de Botton's own, he is a great thinker, and when you explore a relationship through the lens of sharp, critical thinking there is an inevitability about the conclusion.

There are many toe-curlingly, embarrassing moments, self-doubt and exchanges which may make you want to joint a holy order committed to celibacy.

Even though the reader can see the end coming a long way off, it's worth sticking around to witness the conclusion and poke through the debris of what is left.

There is beauty and pain here which are essential ingredients of novels and there is the absence of any preaching or cliché.

The book maybe a difficult read for many but hopefully it can help people to better understand the complex forces at work in relationships. If two people in love, who both desperately want a relationship to work, but can't and, in fact, end up hurting each other and destroying the relationship; what hope is there for international diplomacy?

This is the best book I have read on this topic by some distance. James Wilby is faultless in the reading of this model.

A heartbreakingly exploration of romantic love

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A beautifully written piece, combining philosophy, psychology, observation and a captivating story absolutely seamlessly, and with such humour and sadness it is unputdownable. The narrator is a skilled storyteller, whose sensitivity to the subject permeates his voice. This book would be perfect for anyone who is single, starting a relationship, in a loving relationship, and in a relationship in trouble who needs some loving guidance and reflection.
But I beg you, do not read/listen to this when you're in the middle of heartbreak. I started listening after watching many School of Life videos on YouTube, finding them fascinating and comforting, and thought this book might help me heal from my break-up from a beloved of 6 years, the wounds of which are only a month old. I got up to a certain point in the story, and suddenly all the pain and grief are just as fresh and overpowering as they were 4 weeks ago when we finally realised, both of us, for the first time, that it was really over. As a consequence I've had a crappy weekend, and feel like I've taken 15 steps back in recovering from this heartbreak.
If I'd waited a few months, when the pain isn't so raw, it would have been immensely healing, but I listened too soon. I'll probably come back to hear the last few chapters in a few months, but for now I just wanted to add a "trigger warning" to this otherwise wonderful book. If your heart is breaking, wait a while. Sending love to all who read this that know the pain I'm feeling right now.

Don't 'read' when your heart is breaking

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