When I wake up next to my best friend’s brother after a night of bottom shelf tequila and a sizzling one night stand, I do my best to pretend the whole thing never happened.

Until six weeks later, when two pink lines derail my every plan.

Not only is Graham Astor the brother to my three closest friends and the boy I secretly crushed on for years as a teenager, but he’s also a single dad and a grieving widower.

With a new career on my horizon, I don’t have time for complicated or messy—everything Graham and this news brings—and yet, when he expresses how much he wants this, I can’t deny how much I do too.

Even if that means I might wind up heartbroken later.

Navigating this new reality and everything that comes along with it quickly becomes a test of my willpower and self-control as he continues to say all the right things and shows up for me, even when I don’t ask him to. The more time we spend together, the harder it is to keep my feelings out of it.

Especially when I move in with him, and the memory of his hot breath on my neck and the weight of his body on mine haunts me, reminding me of the blazing chemistry we shared.

I tell myself I won’t fall in love with Graham—not again—I swear, I won’t.

But then he looks at me the way he does, or he talks to my belly, telling our growing baby how lucky he is to be their dad, or I watch how incredible he is with his daughter, and it’s impossible not to.

It’s impossible not to picture what our life could be like together, in love and as a family.

But then I think about how the truth of our beautiful little surprise, and all the history we share, will come out eventually.

What if the fantasy in my head is as close as I’ll ever get to being loved by him?