He Said, She Said cover art

He Said, She Said

Truth, Trauma and the Struggle for Justice in Family Court

 Preview

Get 30 days of Standard free

£5.99/mo after trial. Cancel monthly.
Try for £0.00
More purchase options

He Said, She Said

By: Charlotte Proudman
Narrated by: Charlotte Proudman
Try for £0.00

£5.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for £17.94

Buy Now for £17.94

Summary

 'Required reading' CATHY NEWMAN
'Inspiring and uplifting' VICTORIA DERBYSHIRE
'A rallying cry and a beacon of hope' LUCIA OSBORNE-CROWLEY

If you and your family needed help, could you trust the law to be on your side?

Barrister Charlotte Proudman has seen countless women let down by the very courts meant to protect them - dismissed, disbelieved and left unsafe, while their abusers are given the benefit of the doubt. Her own experience of misogyny within the profession reveals a deeper truth: a justice system designed by men, still tilted against women. In He Said, She Said, Proudman lays bare the prejudice at the heart of family law. Through cases of forced marriage, domestic abuse, child abduction and FGM, she exposes a culture of bias - and calls for urgent, lasting change. Abuse Domestic Partner Abuse Dysfunctional Families Gender Studies Judicial Systems Law Parenting & Families Relationships Social Sciences
adbl_web_anon_alc_button_suppression_c

Critic reviews

A triumph. Proudman is a brave outspoken barrister. Here she exposes the rooted biases that harm women and children in the family courts; her searing analysis puts the system in the dock but also provides a roadmap for reform. Press this book into the hands of policy makers, politicians . . . and every judge (BARONESS HELENA KENNEDY)
Proudman is a fearless campaigner for women's rights, unafraid to tackle misogyny wherever she sees it. Her indictment of the inequalities in the legal system should be required reading by lawyers and lawmakers alike (CATHY NEWMAN)
This important book will shock you. And you will also be inspired and uplifted by the countless women who don't and won't give up (VICTORIA DERBYSHIRE)
An indictment of a legal system that protects abusers at the expense of survivors. Charlotte Proudman exposes the biases and institutional failures that silence women and endanger children with clarity and conviction. He Said She Said is a call to action (CAROL VORDERMAN)
This remarkable book offers a compelling and insightful examination of the devastating impact of misogyny. Drawing from real-life experiences - both her own and those of her clients - Proudman exposes injustices that have remained hidden for far too long. A powerful and necessary revelation (CHERIE BLAIR CBE KC)
A profoundly urgent, necessary book that everyone must read . . . a much-needed intervention in our national conversation around the justice system and the myriad ways in which it fails and silences women. He Said, She Said is an inspiring and moving call to arms, a rallying cry and a beacon of hope (LUCIA OSBORNE-CROWLEY)
Proudman's eloquent arguments, scholarship and first-hand experience of fighting for justice for women and their children makes this book essential reading. As inspirational as it is shocking in its revelations of prejudice and misogyny, Proudman gives us an invaluable bird's eye view into processes that, until recently, were conducted in secrecy. Combining memoir with case illustrations, the book is beautifully written, informative and rightfully disturbing (ANNA MOTZ, author of A LOVE THAT KILLS)
Phenomenal. An exposè of the misogyny embedded in the family court system, exposing how it routinely fails to protect victims while enabling abusers. Drawing on real accounts from women forced to navigate these hostile legal battles, Proudman reveals a system where survivors are disbelieved, silenced and retraumatised. This is an urgent and necessary read, one that shows the truth surrounding family courts and demands change (PATSY STEVENSON)
Proudman carefully dissects the misuse of the family courts by perpetrators to pursue domestic abuse survivors and their children. A must read for anyone seeking to build a society safe for women and girls (APSANA BEGUM MP)
All stars
Most relevant
The book is interesting, well written, and shines a spotlight on how badly the legal system treats women, It would have been a much better listen with a professional narrator - unfortunately through her intonation the author signals what your reaction should be to the upcoming material before you hear it; actually as a listener I want to make my own mind up on that. Also there are many places where the narrated word flow is not correct. Despite these issues (and to be fair the narration improves in the second half of the book) the book succeeds in getting its important message across.

Important story let down by the narration

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Recognise so much of this from personal experience. Enlightening and well presented. So reassuring to know that people like Charlotte Proudman are selflessly slogging away to make a real difference, despite the personal toll.

Dr Charlotte Proudman is a hero!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
a thoroughly readable honest account of the experience of women in the family justice system

refreshingly honest view of the family justice system

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I’ve just finished reading Dr Proudman’s book, and I have to say, it’s incredibly well written. The delivery is excellent, and she comes across as a truly formidable advocate. Her passion for justice and her commitment to supporting victims of domestic abuse is clear throughout, and I genuinely admire that.

That said, I did find the book felt a little one-sided at times. While it’s absolutely right to highlight the widespread issue of male violence against women (and Dr Proudman does this with real insight) it’s also important to acknowledge that abuse can be perpetrated by both men and women. Cases like Richard and Sheree Spencer’s, featured in the Netflix documentary My Wife, My Abuser, show that reality quite starkly.

This book sheds much-needed light on the injustices within the family courts, particularly how they can fail victims of abuse. That part is powerful. But as someone who believes in true equality, I found it surprising that the book didn’t address the experiences of male victims at all. Especially given that, in private Children Act proceedings, 96% of legal aid recipients are women and, many allegations are made without findings or even arrests. That’s an imbalance we can't ignore.

I really wish Dr Proudman had written (or might consider writing in the future) a book that covers domestic abuse in all its forms, affecting both men and women, and focuses more squarely on the systemic failures of the courts. A book centred on the children caught in these cases, rather than drawing repeated comparisons to her own (albeit remarkable) childhood experiences, would in my view be truly ground-breaking.

I say all of this with genuine respect. Dr Proudman is clearly a brilliant and passionate individual, and her voice is so important in this space. But if she were to focus more on the core issues, and less on a singular narrative, I honestly believe she could be instrumental in changing legislation for the better.

Still, Dr Proudman, please do keep going. You’re doing vital work, and you are undoubtedly a remarkable human being.

A Vital Voice in Family Law, Though Not the Full Picture

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
As someone who has been through family law proceedings, this book makes you feel less mad and less alone. Charlotte is so brave and so articulate in her delivery of what is an inspiring account of the reality of the family court system.

A brave and depressingly legitimate account of the family justice system

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
See more reviews