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Here Again Now

'Written in exquisite prose and told with compassion and tenderness' Brit Bennett, author of The Vanishing Half

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Here Again Now

By: Okechukwu Nzelu
Narrated by: Clifford Samuel
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'A beautiful exploration of grief and family, written in exquisite prose and told with compassion and tenderness.' Brit Bennett, author of The Vanishing Half

'Tender and honest, pulsing with love. Nzelu is the future of Black British writing.' Derek Owusu, author of That Reminds Me

From award-winning author Okechukwu Nzelu comes a spellbinding literary novel that asks, how do you move forward when the past keeps pulling you back?

Achike Okoro feels like his life is coming together at last. His top-floor flat in Peckham is as close to home as he can imagine and after years of hard work, he's about to get his break as an actor. He's even persuaded his father, Chibuike, to move in with him, grateful to offer the man who raised him as a single parent a home of his own.

Between filming trips, Achike is snatching a few days in London with Ekene, his best friend of twenty years, the person who makes him feel whole. Achike can put the terrible things that happened behind him at last; everything is going to be alright. Maybe even better.

But after a magical night, when Achike and Ekene come within a hair's breadth of admitting their feelings for each other, a devastating event rips all three men apart. In the aftermath, it is Ekene and Chibuike who must try to rebuild. And although they have never truly understood each other, grief may bring them both the peace and happiness they've been searching for...

A heartbreaking and immensely uplifting novel about lovers, fathers and sons. If you love The Vanishing Half, Shuggie Bain or Moonlight then you'll adore this this incredibly moving book that shows the power of family - both the one into which we are born and those we choose for ourselves.

What readers are saying about Here Again Now:

'A deeply intimate novel. Nzelu's incisive style probes beneath his characters' layers to expose vulnerability, joy, and love... Here Again Now is a revelation.' Courttia Newland

'I loved these heartbreaking characters, their flaws were never glossed over in Nzelu's work, and their humanity shines out all the brighter for that. I cannot recommend this novel enough.' Paterson Joseph

'Okechukwu Nzelu is truly coming into his power as a novelist. It's a beautiful and memorable book. Watch him soar.' Niven Govinden

'WOW, Nzelu is a BEAUTIFUL writer. A truly stunning love story. Heavy themes captured with grace and lightness. Tender, erotic, a total pleasure to read. Pre-order and be smug when it wins all the awards.' Daisy Buchanan

'His most assured, daring work. Telling a riveting and heartbreaking tale... A gloriously moving book which willsurely collect every award going.' Harper's Bazaar

'A novel of great tenderness and understanding. Nzelu's words feel both wise and fresh on the page.' Elizabeth Day

'An elegiac take on the unpredictabilities of the heart and a love that survives loss.' Paul Mendez

'A book so beautiful, it makes your heart ache on every page. Utterly brilliant, I loved it.' Julie Owen Moylan

'One to watch next year.' Stylist

'A powerful and heartbreaking novel; Okechukwu Nzelu is a vital voice.' Andrew McMillan

'Nzelu confirms his place as one of the most exciting and versatile writers of his generation.' Angela Chadwick

'A transgenerational story of grief as tender, potent and nimble as love.' Kit Fan©2022 Okechukwu Nzelu Coming of Age Fiction Friendship Genre Fiction Literary Fiction Feel-Good
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The Pride List of Queer Storytelling

To mark Pride 2023 Audible teamed up with non-profit organisation, Out on the Page, supporter and champion of LGBTQIA+ writers and writing, to release an extensive Pride List of Queer Storytelling. Featuring contributions from some of the UK’s most important and exciting voices from the LGBTQIA+ community, this audiobook is one of the many featured on the list that is available to listen to on Audible.
Explore the list

Critic reviews

A beautiful exploration of grief and family. Through exquisite prose, Okechukwu Nzelu delves into the lives of the complicated men at the centre of this story with compassion and tenderness. A lyrical and insightful novel. (Brit Bennett, author of The Vanishing Half)
Here Again Now is a novel of great tenderness and understanding. Okechukwu Nzelu's words feel both wise and fresh on the page. (Elizabeth Day)
A truly stunning love story. Heavy themes captured with grace and lightness. Tender, erotic, a total pleasure to read. Preorder and be smug when it wins all the awards. (Daisy Buchanan)
One to watch next year
A deeply intimate novel. Nzelu's incisive style probes beneath his characters' layers to expose vulnerability, joy, and love. This is a work of aching possibilities, unearthed warmth between distant bodies, the blurred limits that masculinity sometimes affords. Such emotional truths can be troubling to witness, although rich with the weight of their honesty. Here Again Now is a revelation. (Courttia Newland)
Nzelu has written a tender and probing book. I've not read anything like it and its impact will be far reaching. Baldwin-esque and honest, pulsing with love. I honestly believe Nzelu is the future of Black British writing (Derek Owusu)
Here Again Now finds Okechukwu Nzelu truly coming into his power as a novelist. Through this deeply absorbing an devastating story navigating a complex father-son relationship, masculinity and the exquisite joy and pain of queer love, Nzelu writes with precision, style and emotional intelligence. It's a beautiful and memorable book. Watch him soar. (Niven Govinden)
Here Again Now is a compelling, enchanting novel of love, grief, and healing. Written in sumptuous prose, and with formal flair, it is heartbreaking, redeeming, and utterly mesmerising (Seán Hewitt)
Hooked me from the very beginning. There's such a great respect and dignity at play in this writing - we're never allowed to forget that the painful blunderings of inexpertly loving can lead us, almost in spite of ourselves, to the place we are supposed to be (Jenn Ashworth)
Here Again Now is an affecting portrait of contemporary masculinity, exploring themes of love, loss and vulnerability in the most achingly-beautiful prose. With his second novel, Nzelu confirms his place as one of the most exciting and versatile writers of his generation. (Angela Chadwick, author of XX)
A powerful and heartbreaking novel; it opens up new, important space in the queer canon. Okechukwu Nzelu is a vital voice (Andrew McMillan)
Love has always been a stubborn twin of grief. In Here Again Now, Okechukwu Nzelu reinvents the grammar of time to tell a transgenerational story of grief as tender, potent and nimble as love. Through observant prose and skin-deep dialogues, Nzelu gives us unforgettable portraits of intimacy between friends and families, shaped and reshaped by origin, conflict, migration, responsibility and the yearning for change. (Kit Fan)
All stars
Most relevant
There aren’t enough stories about queerness and Blackness and diasporic African communities. This was such a touching tribute to finding yourself through love and losing it - as a lover and a parent. The narration was warm and easy. What a great story, I loved it.

Touching tribute of love & loss

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I struggled to begin with. But I failed to see the true depth and scope. Mr Nzelu is a courageous voice and it shines through in this story. He demands much, this isn’t a cakewalk. I was challenged. I found myself questioning the characters (which is a great sign). I found myself caring, and wanting to learn more. And Mr Nzelu doesn’t disappoint. I think we are looking at an F. Scout Fitzgerald in the making. He’s sensitive. Conscientious. And it’s a delicate balancing act, to mesh together the inter generational elements. And Mr Nzelu achieves this feat with grace and breathtaking candour.

This is an instant classic and should be immediately added to the English syllabus.

Instant classic. Beautiful. Tentative.

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Beautifully written story of love, family, and romance. Across cultures and generations, searching for self-forgiveness and modern manhood. The performance added to the poetic rhythm.

Beautifully written

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Story line clever but after a while obvious . Got a bit bored. Might have to been better book to read

Here Again Now

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Not really my kind of book, and a long way from my personal experience, but this is well-written and gets inside the characters and their difficulties and emotions. Cleverly structured in layers.

Moving, gentle, sad

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