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Hold on to Your Kids

Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Children take their lead from their friends: being 'cool' matters more than anything else. Shaping values, identity and codes of behaviour, peer groups are often far more influential than parents.

But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous - it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming conformist, anxious and alienated.

In Hold on to Your Kids, acclaimed physician and bestselling author Gabor Maté joins forces with Gordon Neufeld, a psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting. Together they pinpoint the causes of this breakdown and offer practical advice on how to 'reattach' to sons and daughters, establish the hierarchy at home, make children feel safe and understood, and earn back your children's loyalty and love. This updated edition also addresses the unprecedented parenting challenges posed by the rise of digital devices and social media.

By helping to reawaken our instincts, Maté and Neufeld empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of contact, security and warmth for their children.

'Maté's book will make you examine your behaviour in a new light' Guardian

'bold, wise and deeply moral. [Maté] is a healer to be cherished' Naomi Klein, author of No Logo and The Shock Doctrine

© Gabor Maté 2004 (P) Penguin Audio 2021

Parenting & Families Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Inspiring

Critic reviews

Gabor Maté’s connections—between the intensely personal and the global, the spiritual and the medical, the psychological and the political—are bold, wise and deeply moral. He is a healer to be cherished
A visionary book that goes beyond the usual explanations to illuminate a crisis of unrecognized proportions. The authors show us how we are losing contact with our children and how this loss undermines their development and threatens the very fabric of society. Most importantly they offer, through concrete examples and clear suggestions, practical help for parents to fulfil their instinctual roles. A brilliant and well written book – one to be taken very seriously
Hold on to Your Kids brings us genuinely new ideas and fresh perspectives on parenting. The authors integrate psychology, anthropology, neurology and their own personal and professional experiences…. a worthy book with practical implications
Maté’s book will make you examine your behaviour in a new light
Hold On to Your Kids is full of easy tips for avoiding calamity
All stars
Most relevant
Highly recommended for parents of children of all age. An eye opening book about the peer cult and Influence on our children.

An eye opening book!

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This book gave me the confidence that I am doing the right thing regarding the time I spend with my daughter, all the patience, love, and play we share.

A must read for parents

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This book is so eye opening, highly recommended. It really helps us focus our efforts and limited time onto what actually matters to children's wellbeing (and to the whole family's wellbeing!)

I have no children of my own, and yet this book shines truth onto so many more things that I think are incredibly helpful to everyone, which surprised me, and which I'm very happy about.

Thank you.

Helpful to everyone, with or with no children.

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highly motivating for parents who care deeply about the future id their children and for the oarent-child bond!

the title speaks for itself

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Very informative book on such an important topic. Felt connected to the flow of the book and it guided me along through very important topics without over complicating or over simplifying the content. Everything said in this book makes perfect sense when you hear it out loud, but not so obvious when in real life, so a must read for any parents in this day and age.

Informative and relatable book every parent should read

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