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I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

The International bestseller

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I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

By: Baek Sehee, Anton Hur - translator
Narrated by: Jully Lee
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Bloomsbury presents I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Sehee, read by Jully Lee.

THE PHENOMENAL INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER | TRANSLATED BY INTERNATIONAL BOOKER SHORTLISTEE ANTON HUR

'Will strike a chord with anyone who feels that their public life is at odds with how they really feel inside.' Red

PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you?

ME: I don’t know, I’m – what’s the word – depressed? Do I have to go into detail?

Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her – what to call it? – depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgemental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends; adept at performing the calmness, even ease, her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal.

But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a desire for her favourite street food, the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like?

Recording her conversations with her psychiatrist over 12 weeks, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions and harmful behaviours that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness.©2018 Baek Sehee (P)2022 Bloomsbury Publishing PLC Mental Health Mental Health Awareness Mood Disorders Personal Development Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Health Thought-Provoking Memoir
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Critic reviews

An eye-opening view into a person's most vulnerable moments in a new way.
I Want to Die... has been a huge bestseller in Korea and will strike a chord with anyone who feels that their public life is at odds with how they really feel inside. Baek Sehee transcribes the sessions with her psychiatrist as she uncovers the root causes of her anxiety and harmful behaviours, despite the perfect picture she presents to the world.
At once personal and universal, this book is about finding a path to awareness, understanding, and wisdom.
Sehee is honest and authentic throughout … [I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki] will resonate with young people who suffer from similar forms of depression and anxiety.
A testament to the gradual nature of therapy’s cumulative healing effects, I Want to Die should resonate with anyone who eagerly transcribes every nugget of advice they get.
Earnest … clever … [Baek Sehee] uses months of (real) transcripts from her therapy sessions to explore her own depression and anxiety, always tiptoeing toward something like self-awareness.
With candor and humor, Baek offers readers and herself resonant moments of empathy … [I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki] arrives in the U.S. sensitively English-enabled by favored translator Hur.
All stars
Most relevant
conversation between psychologist and author and the experience the author shares was really real and captivating

the dialogue between psychologist and author

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I enjoyed the performance of it more than the actual text. I think as someone who has been through many therapists in my life this seemed far too easy and effective. I’m glad the author had a relatively easy time understanding and working through her issues, but it didn’t feel very real to me unfortunately. I think it was a very brave book to write, I just don’t think I am the right audience for it.

A bit superficial

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Another recommendation by Kim Namjoon and it did not disappoint. Anton Hur's translation was impeccable as always. Highly recommend this book to anyone struggling with their mental health or who knows someone who is and want to understand them better.

Loved it!

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This book is for those who ask themselves, ‘do others also feel that their mind is torturing them every second?’, or for those who want to understand how complicated one’s mind can be when one constantly needs external validation, and on top of it, is extremely empathetic. It is extremely insightful into a young woman’s mind, although of course, not everyone experiences the same challenges. I recognise the signs in many a young person I know, and the psychiatrist does help question certain beliefs. The reflections of the author show her pathway for her to become a better person (in her opinion), which are also useful for those struggling with finding their way in life.
This book showed me how blurry the lines could be between mental health and personality / character, and emotional needs. The challenge for us all is to have as good a mental health as you can have, within the constraints of your own personality, and managing those needs so that they are realistic.

A very interesting insight into a young woman’s mind

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Author talks with such honesty, introspection and hope! I can’t wait to put some of these things into practice.

Helpful!

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