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Maybe I Don't Belong Here

A Memoir of Race, Identity, Breakdown and Recovery

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About this listen

'As a Black British man I believe it is vital that I tell this story. It may be just one account from the perspective of a person of colour who has experienced this system, but it may be enough to potentially change an opinion or, more importantly, stop someone else from spinning completely out of control.' – David Harewood

This audio edition is read by the author, and includes an exclusive conversation between David Harewood and historian and writer David Olusoga.


Is it possible to be Black and British and feel welcome and whole?

Maybe I Don't Belong Here is a deeply personal exploration of the duality of growing up both Black and British, recovery from crisis and a rallying cry to examine the systems and biases that continue to shape our society.

In this powerful and provocative account of a life lived after psychosis, critically acclaimed actor, David Harewood, uncovers devastating family history and investigates the very real impact of racism on Black mental health.

When David Harewood was twenty-three, his acting career beginning to take flight, he had what he now understands to be a psychotic breakdown and was sectioned under the Mental Health Act. He was physically restrained by six police officers, sedated, then hospitalized and transferred to a locked ward. Only now, thirty years later, has he been able to process what he went through.

What was it that caused this breakdown and how did David recover to become a successful and critically acclaimed actor? How did his experiences growing up Black and British contribute to a rupture in his sense of his place in the world?

'Such a powerful and necessary read . . . Don't wait until Black History Month to pick up this book, it's a must-read just now.' - Candice Brathwaite, author of I Am Not Your Baby Mother

'David Harewood writes with rare honesty and fearless self-analysis about his experiences of racism and what ultimately led to his descent into psychosis . . . This book is, in itself, a physical manifestation of that hopeful journey.' - David Olusoga, author of Black and British

Entertainment & Celebrities Mental Health Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Heartfelt Inspiring Thought-Provoking Memoir

Critic reviews

One of the best books on mental health, race, Britain and the thrill of acting I have ever read. You will fall in love with the miraculous David Harewood as he grows up, stumbles, falls and rises in triumph. This incredible, touching and inspiring story will change lives. (Stephen Fry)
David Harewood writes with rare honesty and fearless self-analysis about his experiences of racism and what ultimately led to his descent into psychosis at the age of twenty-three. With equal candour, David plots the story of his recovery. This book is, in itself, a physical manifestation of that hopeful journey. (David Olusoga, author of Black and British)
Heartwarming, eye-opening, gut-wrenching... Maybe I Don’t Belong Here shines a light on the interplay between race, identity and mental well-being with tremendous moral courage. (David Lammy, MP)
I feel like I gained a friend in these pages. It’s a book that is written with honesty and humanity... I learned a little more about what it means to be black, a black man, a black British man who has struggled with mental health and grown as a result. It’s a testament to his resilience, vulnerability and humility that we can all learn from. (Jeffrey Boakye, author of Musical Truth, What is Masculinity?, and Black, Listed)
Staggering . . . a harrowing read and one I’ll never forget. (The Guardian)
Startling and thought-provoking (The Sunday Times)
Such a powerful and necessary read...Don't wait until Black History Month to pick up this book, it's a must-read just now. (Candice Brathwaite, Sunday Times bestselling author of I Am Not Your Baby Mother and Sista, Sister)
[Maybe I Don’t Belong Here ] is captivating... His fortitude and the courage to revisit that period and all it entailed are quietly heroic; hearing him tell his own story with such generosity makes this a memorable listen. (The Financial Times, 'Best Audiobooks Roundup' )
Anyone who has experienced racism will want to read this book. Anyone who hasn’t, really ought to (Hugh Quarshie)
Brutally honest, brave and enlightening, David Harewood’s memoir and account of his breakdown is a fascinating read. Well-written and researched, this is a book that makes you wonder about our mental health system, about othering and racism in Britain and all the other black men who haven’t made it through to the other side. But it's also a love letter to Harewood’s friends, parents and a tribute to his determination to succeed against the odds. (Kit de Waal, author of My Name is Leon and The Trick to Time)
All stars
Most relevant
I absolutely loved this book.. it was powerful, captivating, remarkable truths.. timely.. humourous in parts and emotional... from start to finish it was mesmerising.. awesome narration- it would make a great film!!!! thank you.

Critical review

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I’m not one for books however when I see an interview on TV talking about the book and how David Harewood opens up mental health, I knew I had to read or in this case hear it.

This book is without any doubt phenomenal.

The way it has impacted me and opened my eyes about how people of different race are treated and how certain words said can stay with people for life has made me realise how much things in the world need to change and have changed over years.

This book also has related to me opening about mental health as it has touched many of feelings once lost.

I’d recommend this book to everyone as I believe this will help raise mental health awareness and also assist in tackling racism and the unfair treatment of which society allows

Incredible

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LOts of lived experience of racism and blacks men mental health. I enjoyed this book so much would highly recommend.

Brilliant book

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David takes us on a stunning, beautiful, agonising yet humbling journey of his experience as a young black boy and man weathering and surviving the streets of Britain, and battling the exhausting and almost inconceivable twists and turns of racism and his mental health battle, that after having been so strong for so long, the warrior within him fractured, and beneath those wounds and incredible courage to survive, emerged an even braver magnanimous soul.

Stunning

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Just an amazing story of real life struggles, me being a black man who grew up in the 70s 80s, I know these issues too well, so many I could honestly relate too. This book had me smiling and crying. Thank you David for being so so honest, a true real life superhero.

Thank you brother
Mike Williams

Inspired

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