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My Mother, Munchausen's and Me

A True Story of Betrayal and a Shocking Family Secret

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There was a time when I loved my mother. It’s shocking to imply that I stopped loving my mum because mothers always love their children and always do their best for them. Mothers are supposed to be good. But my mother wasn’t good.

Ten years ago, Helen Naylor discovered her mother, Elinor, had been faking debilitating illnesses for 30 years. After Elinor’s self-induced death, Helen found her diaries, which Elinor wrote daily for more than 50 years. The diaries reveal not only the inner workings of Elinor’s twisted mind and self-delusion, but also shocking revelations about Helen’s childhood.

Everything Helen knew about herself and her upbringing was founded on a lie. The unexplained accidents and days spent entirely on her own as a little girl, imagining herself climbing into the loft and disappearing into a different world, tell a story of neglect. As a teenager, her mother’s advice to Helen on her body and mental health speaks of dangerous manipulation.

With Elinor’s behavior becoming increasingly destructive, and Helen now herself a mother, she was left with a stark choice: to collude with Elinor’s lies or be accused of abandoning her.

My Mother, Munchausen’s and Me is a heartbreaking, honest, and brave account of a daughter unravelling the truth about her mother and herself. It’s a story of a stolen childhood, mental illness, and the redemptive power of breaking a complex and toxic bond.

©2021 Helen Naylor (P)2021 Thread, an imprint of Storyfire Ltd.
Abuse Child Abuse Dysfunctional Families Dysfunctional Relationships Parenting & Families Relationships Emotionally Gripping Inspiring Heartfelt Thought-Provoking Funny Mental Health
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I loved this book. It was so well written, all thoughts so well expressed. Beyond it being a masterpiece of writing, it brought on a lot of emotion and I'm genuinely touched by this life story and how difficult it all must have been and likely still is. lots of love and thank you for putting this out there for the wider public.

so beautifully written and narrated

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I have read hundreds of books. I have read many stories of people's lives and struggles. Never has a book made me so angry as this one. This is not a story of abuse, neglect, wilful lies and deceit's as the author would like us to believe, this is a desperately sad story of mental illness and the total lack of help from the medical profession that this woman was given throughout her life.
As a young woman and into her 20's it would be easy to see how the author could mistake her mother's behaviour as a lifestyle choice and for the author to misunderstand how her mother has no shame over being "found out" in her deceptions but I cannot believe that as she has matured with children of her own she cannot see that these were not choices her mother made but throughout het life she was driven by personality and illness to behave the way she did.
As the mother of a child who is furiously battling anorexia, I have witnessed first hand the power of the human brain and mind to destroy all logical thinking and remove clear thought and choice from an individual and leave them with the most bizarre outlook on life and people around them. It is totally incomprehensible to all of us "normal" people why the ill are acting the way they do but it makes their struggle no less real.
The author had an upbringing in a reasonably loving, caring environment where money clearly was never an issue even though both parents were out of work for what appears to be a long time. Dad being a member of a sailing club, holidays to America, mum paying for a nursing home for years on end, nice house, university education, hair does, private doctors, not much struggle going on and let's face it, parents are people too, do we not all realise that eventually as we grow older and realise that parents have also had their own childhood traumas etc etc.
I really could go on and on. The extracts from the diaries, only extracts the author has chosen, but it's obvious from the first that Eleanor has an emotional detachment to everything. The author constantly mentions Narcissistic Personality Disorder, well firstly again being a narcissist is not a lifestyle choice, it's an unfortunate character trait and secondly, does the author not see that the clue is in the title "personality DISORDER". It is something that is not correctly wired in the brain.
Helen Naylor instead of writing this book as a self pitying journal of how simply wonderful she is as a person would have better spent her time and energy highlighting how shockingly our own mental health care system let her mother down to the point where she starved herself to death (suspect she suffered eating disorders all her life), with her hands hooked into claws from self harm, without any family around her, written off by health professionals who had never seen what was happening.
I am relatively lucky in that my daughters illness is more recognised now for what it is, a severe mental health issue and NOT a lifestyle choice to be skinny, but the system needs to change to see all these things including drug and alcohol addiction for what they are, diseases of the mind and treat them accordingly.
The author should be eternally grateful that her mother kept the Munchausen's Syndrome all for herself and did not project it onto her daughter as mother's have in the past causing real harm and damage to their children. I recommend that the author watch The Act, and be grateful for the life she has now with her husband, children, friends, coffee mornings, free time to write and goodness knows what else.
Rant over.

Never before has a book made me so angry..........

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Living in an attached terrace next to a sociopathic narcissist who exhibits periods of munchausen, a woman who actively incited 3 assaults on me and vocalizes wishes for me to be killed or to die, i get it... all of it I see, too, the affects on her 2 now adult daughters....also manipulated to harm and harass me while brainwashed into believing lies...and so, i can once again intellectually enhance my understanding of the family more thru Helen's painful story. BUT, what does upset me still are the levels of abuse of power and neglect of duties.. and simple gut understanding...of authorities...social services, police, doctors. Then again, Helen shows again why the world has so many ugly sides to it....the lack of people in positions of power willing to do what is needed....lazy leaders not exerting the energy to change the laws, stop supporting bad people and making good folks suffer through it all! So glad Helen was able to resolve and grow.. too many people remain in denial and hurting children grow into angry and dysfunctional adults. Thanks for bravely sharing your life.. .i wish you more love and laughter. xo

A sad truth, a wise daughter

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Loved the book.
Hard hitting at times but beautifully written, MDP is a cruel illness not really talked about.. Its definitely opened my eyes to a world i had very little knowledge of.

A must read

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Really enjoyed it, I was hooked early on. The narrator (and author) had a lovely endearing and captivating voice- hearing her describe how Munchausen unfolded, the impact it had on both family and friends and the difficulties faced when everyone knew what it was but couldn't help in any other way than medical attention. I do recommend this book if you enjoy true accounts, life stories, medical things.

eye opener

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