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Starving in Search of Me

A Coming-of-Age Story of Overcoming an Eating Disorder and Finding Self-Acceptance

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Starving in Search of Me

By: Marissa LaRocca
Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
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About this listen

This confessional self-help guide explores the complex emotional truth of what it’s like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. Activist author Marissa LaRocca’s revelatory tale includes her struggle with her secrets, including sexuality, and how she emerged as an outspoken advocate for gay rights and women’s health issues.

Many young women and girls struggle with the body image issues that engender eating disorders with elaborate rituals around food, binging, purging, and hiding it all while trying to maintain a face of normalcy to the world. Anorexia and bulimia have become major national health crises, with skyrocketing statistics indicating that between 3 and 5 percent of the population suffer anorexia nervosa alone. Sadly, many never attain the sense of being “normal” and deal with a lifetime of body image and self-esteem issues.

This intimate account of courage and the search for truth and meaning will have you rooting for Marissa LaRocca as she unravels the emotional layers of her own battle with food, body image, and sexuality. Readers of this riveting memoir will relate to the coming-of-age story of a young woman confronting some of life’s major issues while living, for a time, in two closets: one to hide her eating disorder and one to hide her sexuality and very identity. Echoes of Portia de Rossi’s Unbearable Lightness resound in LaRocca’s portrait of a life seemingly lived out in the open but, in truth, very much concealed.

Through her inspiring triumphs and revelations, activist and author Marissa LaRocca invites readers to confront themselves. She asks, “What if, at the root of all ‘disorders’, is the refusal to acknowledge or permit certain feelings - feelings that, if witnessed, have the power to free their sufferers? To what extent are ‘disorders’ actually doorways to helping us understand the truth about our lives?”

In addition to her personal story, LaRocca takes a close look at society’s role in the development of eating disorders and other mental health challenges, establishing that the prevalence of such “illnesses” represent a collective yearning for connection, acceptance, and emotional nourishment among generations that are starving for so many things. Starving in Search of Me resolves with hope and an abundance of insights, tools, and resources to support eating disorder sufferers and members of the LGBTQ community alike. It’s a head-on journey toward total self-acceptance that will nourish the spirit and inspire readers to embrace their differences and nurture their authentic selves.

©2018 Marissa LaRocca (P)2018 Blackstone Audio, Inc.
Biographies & Memoirs Compulsive Disorders Eating Disorders Gender Studies LGBTQ+ Studies Lesbian Studies Mental Health Personal Development Personal Success Psychology & Mental Health Self-Esteem Social Sciences Health Inspiring Funny Emotions
All stars
Most relevant
I would recommend this book to anyone interested in disordered eating, finding a life balance and being difference and learning to accept yourself.

Interesting and Thought Provoking

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Would completely recommend,
I have suffered with disordered eating and sexuality and was in a 18yrs relationship with a man and did everything ‘I was meant to be, by society’s rules’. Was ended up hospitalised due to the life with a man and abusive relationship I endured, the only one good thing that came from that relationship was my beautiful 14year old son.
I’m now free, living with my soulmate who is a beautiful woman and now everything feels soo right and eating disorder behaviours are nearly none existent. I have so much more time and headspace for everything I do appreciate in life!! This book resonates completely! Fantastic advice and support and highly recommend this for anyone who is struggling with any eating disorder or addiction and anyone living with somebody who suffers! It’s been a fantastic book to share with loved ones!
You go girlie!!! Xx

Absolutely fantastic

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Marissa lays bare her truth in a simple and honest way. She shares her journey and pain. In the end gives the reader hope that life is a daring adventure if you don’t give your power away.

Raw pure. Truth and discovery of self

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This is a touching memoir of a lesbian perspective on having an eating disorder and recovering from it. But it's more than just a great memoir, it's a nuanced political essay on how oppressive society's attitudes to food and eating it is, and a practical guide on how to recover from disordered eating regardless of what the world throws at you.

Thoughtful and practical life advice for the marginalized with eating disorders

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