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The Diary of a Secret Royal

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The Diary of a Secret Royal

By: The Secret Royal, Henry Morris
Narrated by: Richard Carwardine
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About this listen

The most scandalous Royal book of the year

In a rapidly changing world the Royal Family own swathes of the country, most of the seabed and more money than anyone could ever spend. It is the role of the Chamberlain of the NDAs to keep things that way.

From transgressions to successions, travesties to majesties, follow eighteen months in the life of trusted toady Fenton Footlicker Esquire as he takes Queen Elizabeth to rehab, foils a breakout from the Balmoral Labour Camp and runs a counter-espionage unit of royal lookalikes – the Crown Duals.

Fenton knows better than anyone that without the monarchy UK tourism would instantly collapse. Which is why he calls himself the Royal Flush: because he always cleans up the messes his charges leave behind.

©2023 The Secret Royal (P)2023 HarperCollins Publishers Limited Biographical Fiction Family Life Genre Fiction Literature & Fiction Satire Biography Royalty Comedy Fiction

Critic reviews

‘Henry Morris is incapable of writing a not-brilliant sentence’ Caitlin Moran

‘Crowns, tiaras and brilliant satire – it’s the best of British!’ Chris Packham
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Brilliant and eloquent, with lots of laugh out loud moments. Beautifully narrated. Can't wait for the next instalment.

Everything It Promised To Be

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The semi-fictional antics of the Royal family will keep you chortling from start to finish. Brilliantly read too.

Full of humour and satire

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The best bits for me are the brilliant pastiches of ancient historical documents and the hilarious anachronisms . He skewers the Ponzi scheme that allows a family of entitled mediocrities and their hundreds of sycophants and enablers to flourish. There’s a savage wit behind the buffoonery. Meet the Keeper of the Royal Stool, the Royal Toothpaste Squeezer, The Chamberlain of NDAs and the Collector of the Qatari money bags…then there’s the ghastly Windsor extended family in all its banality & fatuous pomp.
There are a few weak moments but too few to mention. Many minor public deplorables are assassinated in passing. It’s well read in a variety of accents but mostly in a deferential tone reminiscent of Rees-Mogg.

An enjoyable attempt at regicide

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Thoughtful, well researched, clever, funny, silly, brilliant! I enjoyed the historical elements immensely. Please write another one.

Funny, silly, brilliant!

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Just sublime! I lost track of how many times I laughed out loud! Very very shady and most importantly definitely based on some truth!

One of the best satirical books on the British Royal Family!

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