The Secret Life of Grief cover art

The Secret Life of Grief

A Memoir

 Preview

Audible Standard 30-day free trial

Try Standard free
Select 1 audiobook a month from our entire collection.
Listen to your selected audiobooks as long as you're a member.
Get unlimited access to bingeable podcasts.
Standard auto renews for £5.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

The Secret Life of Grief

By: Tanja Pajevic
Narrated by: Tanja Pajevic
Try Standard free

£5.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for £13.66

Buy Now for £13.66

About this listen

When Tanja Pajevic’s mother died, she felt alone and unsupported. She didn’t want her grief to sideline her, as it had when her father died. This time around, she wanted to grieve consciously. But how? In a society that no longer has clear rituals or traditions around grief, Tanja set out to create her own. As the weeks and months passed, Tanja, a first-generation Serbian-American woman, delved into her anger, rage and sorrow, as well as explored the complicated issue of forgiveness. Along the way, she explored the rise and fall of communal mourning in the United States, as well as its roots in the current medical model.

Tanja also examined ingrained family patterns she was ready to release—all while raising two young children and dealing with a husband facing his own challenges. Throughout, she reassessed and reconfigured her life, reconnected with her true self and found redemption and healing, as well as joy. Written in fierce, honest prose, The Secret Life of Grief is a book for anyone who isn’t willing to “pull it together” and act like nothing’s wrong. The Secret Life of Grief is a book for those of us who believe in the transformative power of loss. And it’s a book for those of us who believe in love.

©2016 Tanja Pajevic (P)2025 Tanja Pajevic Grief & Loss Personal Development Relationships Women Grief
All stars
Most relevant

Listener received this title free

As a Greek Cypriot raised in the Orthodox tradition but now living in the UK, so much of Tanja’s story resonated with me. I lost my parents and grandparents before the age of 14, and grief has been my lifelong struggle. I’ve read many books on grief, but none have captured its unspoken realities the way this one does — the longing for a loved one’s scent, the attachment to their belongings, the ache of clearing their things.

Listening on Audible made it even more powerful. Tanja narrates beautifully, with clarity and emotion, yet without heaviness or despair.
I am so glad I listened to it on Audible, it helped me feel even more connected to the story.

Her honesty about navigating marriage and parenting while grieving made me feel truly seen.

I also loved how she emphasised the importance of ritual in grief. In Greek Orthodox culture, rituals like memorial services and kolliva (the traditional wheat dish) provide space to express loss in community — something I’ve found missing in the UK. Tanja found her own ways of creating ritual and tradition around her grief which gave me ideas to do the same even if I live in a culture that doesn’t. I felt empowered by this.

This book left me both comforted and hopeful. It reminded me that while grief never truly leaves us, we don’t have to live forever in despair. A deeply moving and healing read.

Most validating and helpful book I’ve read on grief

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.