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The Usual Desire to Kill

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The Usual Desire to Kill

By: Camilla Barnes
Narrated by: Harriet Walter
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£5.99/mo after 3 months. Offer ends on 5 July 2026 at 11:59 BST. Cancel monthly.

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‘Hilarious and heartbreaking’ MONICA ALI
'Deeply funny and knowing' MEG WOLITZER
'Witty, moving' ANN NAPOLITANO
'Poignant, funny and brilliantly told' POSY SIMMONDS

An often hilarious, surprisingly moving portrait of a long-married couple, seen through the eyes of their wickedly observant daughter – for fans of A Man Called Ove and The Royal Tenenbaums.

Miranda’s parents live in a dilapidated house in rural France that they share with two llamas, eight ducks, five chickens, two cats, and a freezer full of food dating back to 1983.

Miranda’s father is a retired professor of philosophy who never loses an argument. Her mother likes to bring conversation back to the War, although she was born after it ended. Married for fifty years, they are uncommonly set in their ways. Miranda plays the role of translator when she visits, communicating the desires or complaints of one parent to the other and then venting her frustration to her sister and her daughter. At the end of a visit, she reports 'the usual desire to kill'.

Read by Harriet Walter, The Usual Desire to Kill is a wry, propulsive, exquisitely observed debut about a singularly eccentric family and the sibling rivalry, generational divides, and long-buried secrets that shape them. This is an extraordinary novel from a seasoned playwright with a flare for dialogue and, in the end, immense empathy for the mysterious intimacies of marriage, family, and love.

‘Hilarious and heartbreaking. Barnes’s dialogue is pitch-perfect, and her characters dance off the page and straight into your heart’ Monica Ali, author of Love Marriage

‘Camilla Barnes deftly deciphers the secret language of one family, often with deeply funny and knowing results. I loved spending time in the very specific, complicated and memorable world of this novel’ Meg Wolitzer, author of The Wife

‘I love nothing more than reading about eccentric families, and the family in The Usual Desire to Kill is just that. Miranda and her sister work to uncover the true story of their parents' marriage, only to have their brilliant, quirky mother and father deflect them at every turn. Barnes has written a witty, moving novel about characters who, even when they seem incapable of speaking honestly, are worth listening to nonetheless’ Ann Napolitano, author of Hello Beautiful

‘An account of two ageing, secretive, disputatious and thoroughly maddening parents – poignant, funny and brilliantly told through gritted teeth’ Posy Simmonds, author of Cassandra Darke Editors Select Family Life Genre Fiction Literature & Fiction Marriage Funny Heartfelt Witty
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Editorial Review

For anyone who's ever been on either side of an "OK, boomer" eye roll?
At its start, Camilla Barnes's debut novel of a family absolutely riddled with generation gaps seems almost like a cosy comedy of errors, enhanced with instantly iconic narration. As expected, Harriet Walter's performance is outstanding and so very British, infusing an air of "Oh, you mustn't bother" and "Don't be so silly" into every breath. But as you move through the story, you realise that Barnes's storytelling style and structure—clearly informed by her career in the theatre—challenges the conventional expectation that family dramas will culminate in a cathartic revelation of truth, any moldering shame sanitised with a cleansing dose of sunny truths. As with most families, there are a lot of past hurts buried here, and the relative positions of each player prevents them from seeing each other—and their history—clearly. But you as the listener are in for a revelatory experience of feeling deep sympathy and love for each and every one of them. —Emily C., Audible Editor

Critic reviews

‘Hilarious and heartbreaking, packed with acute and painfully funny observations about relationships and family dynamics. Barnes’s dialogue is pitch-perfect, and her characters dance off the page and straight into your heart. Mum and Dad are magnificent creations, eccentric and endearing, both instantly recognisable and utterly singular’
‘Camilla Barnes deftly deciphers the secret language of one family, often with deeply funny and knowing results. I loved spending time in the very specific, complicated and memorable world of this novel’
‘I love nothing more than reading about eccentric families, and the family in The Usual Desire to Kill is just that. Miranda and her sister work to uncover the true story of their parents' marriage, only to have their brilliant, quirky mother and father deflect them at every turn. Barnes has written a witty, moving novel about characters who, even when they seem incapable of speaking honestly, are worth listening to nonetheless’
‘An account of two ageing, secretive, disputatious and thoroughly maddening parents – poignant, funny and brilliantly told through gritted teeth’
All stars
Most relevant
I enjoyed it very much, the story and the performance. Would recommend it to people who have aging parents, sisters or simply a weird family so basically to everybody 😅 The writting is light but rings true at evert sentence.

Funny, true and well written

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It has nothing to do with crime novels, it is actually very funny , recommendable though a bit old fashioned

Nothing to do with crime

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chimed with me in so many ways - aged 75 I remember my own parents' idiosyncraties and vow to be gracious with my children in their fifties!

perfectly read

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Harriet Walter makes this book so real. I love listening to her and the story is fabulous. So many people have been brought up with dysfunctional, vague, absent, uncaring, distracted parents and yet end up looking after these 'selfish' people. I loved every bit of it. Not sure I could be that forgiving.

I absolutely adored this wacky book.

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I bought this as it was compared to " a man called Ove" I found it quite dull and tedious and the narration had the exact same voice and tone for every character making it hard at times to follow who was speaking.

very disappointing

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