To Exist As I Am cover art

To Exist As I Am

A Doctor's Notes on Recovery and Radical Acceptance

 Preview

Audible Standard 30-day free trial

Try Standard free
Select 1 audiobook a month from our entire collection.
Listen to your selected audiobooks as long as you're a member.
Get unlimited access to bingeable podcasts.
Standard auto renews for £5.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

To Exist As I Am

By: Grace Spence Green
Narrated by: Grace Spence Green
Try Standard free

£5.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for £17.94

Buy Now for £17.94

About this listen

 LONGLISTED FOR THE WOMEN'S PRIZE FOR NON-FICTION 2026

'One of the most powerful medical memoirs of recent years' WATERSTONES

'Astonishing, important, and truly radical ... this book is completely transformative' POLLY MORLAND

'A beautiful, powerful, indelible read. Superb' RACHEL CLARKE, Guardian

It wasn't a car crash, but there was a collision. He fell from the third floor.

At the age of twenty-two, Grace Spence Green's spine was broken at the fourth thoracic vertebra, and her life changed tracks. One day, she was in hospital supporting patients, the next she was one.

To Exist As I Am traces Grace's journey back to the wards and back to herself.

Through her extraordinary story, she asks how we might fight for change, and shift how we think about disability - while joyously embracing life exactly as we are.

'Essential reading' XAND VAN TULLEKEN

'Inspiring and life-affirming' VIV GROSKOP

'Unputdownable, awe-inspiring, necessary' GABRIEL WESTON

'Surrendering to what happens to us, to find joy and meaning in spite of it, is the bravest and most wise choice we can make and this book is an extraordinary one to inspire just that' MIRANDA HART ©2025 Grace Spence Green Physical Illness & Disease Inspiring
All stars
Most relevant
A truly wonderful book. It is many things - her story being one, a manifesto for disabled rights being another, but also a manifesto for how to live. I was moved to tears on several occasions - not out of pity but often due to the sheer joyousness of Grace’s life. The section where she talks about “care” and the care she has received is also incredibly moving and humbling. I imagine she is everything that one would hope for in a doctor, but also in a human being.
I will be buying this in book form too.

Moving, eloquent, fabulous

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Grace - thank you for writing this book - I really enjoyed listening to you. it has taught me such a lot about disability and how much more there is to do to make the world easier to access for people with disability.

What comes through in this book your unrelenting perseverance, courage and determination to learn and succeed. Your act of forgiveness to the person who injured you but in the process saved his life is truly remarkable.

Unbelievable level of courage and grit.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Wonderful book. Well written personal account of a random event that one woman’s life, forever. She shows an enviable amount of courage, resilience and compassion and turns, what could have been a tragedy, into the most positive life change. Everyone should read.

Inspiring read

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I applaud Dr Grace Spence Green both for her tenacity in accepting the outcome of the results of a completely random accident which literally dropped from above and her philosophical acceptance of the fact that life indeed can be both unkind and impartial to all of us at times.
This accident had the power to ruin not only her health and future life as a Doctor but it also takes a particular type of inner strength and faith to accept that it has somehow affected her faith in both God and the way this catastrophy has impacted her life
The way that she marshalled her reserves and managed to view the event in a very positive way belies a very special unique personality.
I hope the writing of the book was therapeutic as it must have been triggering in some respects but it may well have been an exercise in coming to terms with her future life and any lasting effects this event has on her future.
She is aware that there has been a great deal of support and help from her colleagues and mentors in her training to overcome her difficulties in return to a demanding career and her mother father and other relatives provided close emotional support.

Dr Grace Spence Green has left a remarkable testament to bravery and resourceful recovery from the unthinkable.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Thank you for shering your gurney I laughed and I cried. It is an important book for any person who works in health care.

Thank you for a wonderful book

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
See more reviews