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Why We Click

The Hidden Dynamics of Connection: 'The New Science of Interpersonal Synchrony'

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Why We Click

By: Kate Murphy
Narrated by: Kate Murphy
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

FROM THE INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF YOU'RE NOT LISTENING

Why do you immediately click with some people while others inexplicably turn you off? Do people emit vibes – good or bad? Is it possible to read a room? Are bad habits contagious?

The hidden science of why people click, and how this powerful phenomenon shapes our lives.

In Why We Click, bestselling author Kate Murphy explores the science behind the seemingly magical yet science-backed phenomenon that makes us fall into rhythm and find resonance with one another. Murphy reveals how and why we match one another's movements, posture and gestures, and sync up our heart rates, blood pressure, pupil dilation, brainwaves and hormonal activity. This powerful tool shows that emotions, moods and behaviours are all infectious and can profoundly impact our health and wellbeing – for good or bad.

In this enthralling book, discover the superpower of "interpersonal synchrony" and its extraordinary benefits so you can learn how to detect and encourage this phenomenon when beneficial, and "desynchronise" from others when it is not.

© Kate Murphy 2026 (P) Penguin Audio 2026

 Communication & Social Skills Editors Select Personal Development Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Social Psychology & Interactions Heartfelt Health Mental Health

Editorial Review

The vibes that bind us
I must have exclaimed, “Fascinating!” 40 or 50 times while reading an advance copy of this book. It opened my eyes to the emerging field of social neuroscience and the study of “interpersonal synchrony.” It turns out that concepts like “vibes” or “being on the same wavelength” aren’t so much figurative idioms as literal descriptions of physiological phenomena. Behaviours and moods are highly contagious, and the human body is a finely tuned antenna designed to sync with other people—or not sync. Journalist Kate Murphy unpacks the relevance of these insights for our romantic lives, friendships, office dynamics, social movements, you name it. Why We Click feels like an essential manual for understanding humans, social animals that we are, and why we behave the way we do. Fascinating, indeed. —Phoebe N., Audible Editor

Critic reviews

'In a world where loneliness is skyrocketing and connection feels harder than ever, Murphy's book is a must-have resource. Why We Click is a fascinating, science-backed reminder that the joy we seek so often begins in rhythm with the people around us' (Laurie Santos, Chandrika and Ranjan Tandon Professor of Psychology and host of The Happiness Lab podcast)
'From start to finish, Why We Click dives deep into how we relate, communicate, and sync our behavior in fascinating and perplexing ways. It’s a captivating journey through the science behind the powerful, yet invisible forces that synchronize human behavior.'
'Why We Click is popular science at its best. Kate Murphy takes a universal yet mysterious experience—our sense of connection with others—and reveals the surprising science that explains it. Through vivid stories and carefully-conducted research, Murphy transforms an experience that once felt mysterious and magical into something that is perfectly understandable. You’ll end this book feeling like you’ve gotten a new pair of crystal-clear glasses to see your social world through. It’s engaging, insightful, and hard to put down!'
'Why We Click is a searching and fascinating exploration of the up-and-coming science of human connection. Kate Murphy describes, in lucid terms, not only the foundation of the seemingly effortless link between people, but also the devastating consequences of its absence – all too relevant in a world where digital virtualities are draining real-life interaction from our lives' (Thomas Lewis, psychiatrist, adjunct professor at UCSF and author of A General Theory of Love)
'A thoughtful, eloquent volume that could transform not just your relationships but your own worldview as well' (Waterstones, Best Non-fiction Books for 2020 , on You’re Not Listening)
'This book changed the way I think about communicating with the people who matter to me'
'Intelligent and thought-provoking'
'Brilliant' (Chris Evans, on You’re Not Listening)
'Smart and playful'
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