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You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For

A New Approach to Intimate Relationships with the Internal Family Systems Model

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You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For

By: Richard Schwartz
Narrated by: Mike Berlak, Martin LaGrande
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Discover the practical guide to transforming relationships and building lasting intimacy using Internal Family Systems therapy, from bestselling author Dr Richard Schwartz.

Why do loving relationships fail? Is it because of poor communication? A lack of empathy? Failure to accommodate each other’s needs? These are all common beliefs, but what if they’re all wrong?

In You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For, celebrated therapist and bestselling author Dr Richard Schwartz suggests that it is instead because we unknowingly burden our partner with the task of caring for our 'internal family' - the disowned and unloved parts of ourselves.

Building on his revolutionary Internal Family Systems model of therapy, Dr Richard Schwartz provides the essential tools to create healthy and opening communication with your ‘internal family’ and your partner, including showing you how to:

  • Spot and challenge beliefs that create shame and distance in relationships
  • Transform the way our vulnerable parts shape the way we treat each other
  • Turn conflict into a path for personal growth and self-understanding
  • Build strong, lasting intimacy with ourselves and our partners


Practical, accessible, and empowering, You Are the One You've Been Waiting For will equip you with the essential tools needed to build trust, strengthen your connection, and deepen your relationship.

'A must read'
- Esther Perel, bestselling author of The State of Affairs

'My relationship bible' - Gabby Bernstein, bestselling author of Self Help and The Universe Has Your Back

'Releases our capacity to be fully alive in relationships' - Bessel van der Kolk, bestselling author of The Body Keeps Score
©2023 Richard Schwartz (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Love, Dating & Attraction Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships

Critic reviews

'A must-read for anyone seeking a companion on the path toward self-compassion and love'
'Releases our capacity to be fully alive in relationships'
'The principles and methods shared in this book have offered me direct access to 'courageous love' and a greater connection to my husband than I ever felt possible.'
'This profound and readable book provides clear guidelines for therapists and clients alike ... I enthusiastically recommend this book to anyone serious about improving relationships in the world today!
'Dr. Richard Schwartz's work on Internal Family Systems, along with his latest book, You Are the One You've Been Waiting For, has profoundly changed my life ... Dr. Schwartz's book is the number one tool I recommend for people who are seeking to find greater compassion and love for themselves and others.'
'Thoroughly researched yet totally accessible, Dr. Richard Schwartz's book is written in a compelling manner that had me hooked and gave me hope and tools for how I can enjoy more peaceful, courageously loving relationships.'
'This book guides the reader to realize that the healing journey must first start with oneself.'
All stars
Most relevant
a very helpful and realistic look at relationships and the value of the trouble and repair within them

excellent audio book

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Amazing audio book, very illuminating, I've had an internal revolution whilst listening to it, don't recommend listening if you're in a very vulnerable condition unless you have support around though, it's groundbreaking listening for the ears virgin to ifs and if you're not stable or have support can be very triggering. Major problem though, I was looking forward to doing the practical exercises at the end of the book to find there is no resource for page 89-90 with the list of "protective parts", I can't even go back and listen to where that may be because that's not how audible structures chapters... So, this needs fixing pretty urgently.

Brilliant listen, but practical resources missing.

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Simple yet deep and spiritual model for understanding and working with parts of ourselves who can take us over to protect us or those who have been exiled but can also hijack us. Methods for befriending and using courageous love from our true Self to make those parts of us feel safe and cared for so we can heal ourselves and our relationships. Excellent book which has good narrator with clear and gentle voice.

Fantastic and helpful insight and advice for couples

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Required listening for anyone trying to get better at relationships. As I listened, I was able to make sense of why my relationships had turned out in the way that they had. Previously I'd had a notion. now I deeply understand. Plenty of exploring to follow now. Huge thank you to Dick Schwartz.

Phenomenal, this makes sense of it all!

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This book helped my to look at my relationship and partner in different ways I didn’t before, thank you for such a help

Amazing help for any relationship

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