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Zen and the Art of Dealing with Difficult People

How to Learn from Your Troublesome Buddhas

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Zen and the Art of Dealing with Difficult People

By: Mark Westmoquette
Narrated by: Stephen Perring
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Summary

This is a guide to applying the teachings of mindfulness and Zen to the troublesome or challenging people in our lives. Perhaps you can see there’s often a pattern to your behavior in relation to them and that it often causes pain – perhaps a great deal of pain. The only way we can grow is by facing this pain, acknowledging how we feel and how we’ve reacted, and making an intention or commitment to end this repeating pattern of suffering.

In this book, Mark Westmoquette speaks from a place of profound personal experience. A Zen monk, he has endured two life-changing traumas caused by other people: his sexual abuse by his own father, and his stepfather’s death and mother’s very serious injury in a car crash due to the careless driving of an off-duty policeman. He stresses that by bringing awareness and kindness to these relationships, our initial stance of “I can’t stand this person, they need to change” will naturally shift into something much broader and more inclusive. The book makes playful use of Zen koans – apparently nonsensical phrases or stories – to help jar us out of habitual ways of perceiving the world and nudge us toward a new perspective of wisdom and compassion.

©2021 Mark Westmoquette (P)2021 Watkins Buddhism Personal Development Personal Success Philosophy Spirituality Meditation
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He sounded like an actor reading a script rather than the author delivering his message. Became monotonous, fake and too fast.

narrator is too much

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The author's openness has made me feel touched, humbled and connected. As well as determined to reprioritise my meditation practice.

I've found it so helpful the way the author clearly lay out the koans, along with different people's various experiences in their relationships of all kinds.

I feel inspired and it's made me want to continue to turn the lantern around, move away from blame and into a more helpful and true way of seeing our beautiful universe after what has been a difficult couple of years with my own relationships.

Profound and true

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I have been practicing Zen meditation myself for many years and this book really clarified the aims and reasons behind many aspects of my own practice. It is filled with really interesting stories and case studies that help you develop a deeper understanding of your own thoughts and behaviour and ultimately help you in your relationships with others. The authors own recovery from an extremely traumatic passed adds to the authenticity of the advice given. I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in developing better relationships with others or them self.

This is a fantastic book. Well worth a read

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I struggled to finish this book and actually abandoned after a few attempts to persevere. the narrator's style unfortunately completely distracts from the message- where thete should be some calm, peace or depth ( a little space to reflect and rake in), there is instead an upbeat, fast and overpowering style. Shame, the book itself seems interesting .

performance distracts from message

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I was drawn to reading this book after difficulties with a colleague began to resurface. It has been powerful, enlightening and many tips I will take away. Just reading this has made me feel calmer and trusting of myself to be able to handle those individuals who come into our lives to teach us something about ourselves. It is ok for them to be there, to acknowledge their purpose, and this book eloquently explains why… Enjoy!

Honesty and powerful messaging at its finest!

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