Why is it sometimes easier to forgive the person who hurt you than it is to forgive yourself?

In this episode of Surrendered Self-Esteem, we talk about the deep self-blame that can take root after mental, emotional, or verbal abuse. When you have spent years being blamed, criticized, controlled, or made to feel like everything is your fault, those words can become an inner voice that follows you long after the fight is over.

I share part of my own story of walking through over 13 years of mental abuse in marriage and constantly wondering, “Why can’t I do anything right?” Over time, that question became more than a thought — it became something I believed about myself.

But abuse was not your fault.

Your imperfections did not give someone permission to mistreat you. Your confusion, fear, hope, or desire to keep peace does not mean you caused what happened. There is a difference between taking responsibility for your healing and taking blame for someone else’s harmful choices.

In this episode, you’ll be gently reminded that God’s voice does not sound like condemnation, shame, or abuse. His voice leads with truth, compassion, conviction, healing, and love. Through Scripture and honest reflection, this episode will help you begin separating the lies abuse planted from the truth God speaks over you.

If you have ever blame yourself for staying, for not seeing the signs sooner, for trying too hard, or for believing the wrong things about yourself, this episode is for you.

Healing may not happen all at once, but with God, it can begin one truth at a time.

• Why self-forgiveness can feel so difficult after abuse
• How mental and emotional abuse can train you to blame yourself
• The difference between responsibility for healing and blame for abuse
• Why God’s voice does not sound like shame or condemnation
• How to begin replacing lies with biblical truth
• Why the version of you who survived deserves compassion, not punishment

• Romans 8:1
• Romans 12:2
• Psalm 34:18
• Matthew 11:28

You are not responsible for someone else’s abuse. You are not the names they called you. You are not the lies they spoke over you. You are deeply loved by God, and He is not done restoring you.

XO

Jodie Lynn