30. From People-Pleasing to True Agency
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30. From People-Pleasing to True Agency
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What if healing isn't compliance... but it isn't defiance either?
Many survivors spend years people-asing, staying small, and keeping the peace. Then, as they heal, they swing to the opposite extreme—resisting anything that feels like pressure or control.
In this episode, I'm exploring why neither compliance nor defiance is true freedom, and how healing is really about developing agency: the ability to choose based on your values rather than your reactions.
You'll learn:
• Why people-pleasing and defiance are more similar than they seem
• Gabor Maté's concept of counterwill
• The difference between boundaries and reactivity
• What healthy sacrifice looks like in marriage
• How to become a chooser in your own life
If you're tired of repeating the same argument in your marriage, grab my free guide, Stop Repeating the Same Argument. Get it HERE.
And if this episode resonates with you, I'd be so grateful if you'd leave a rating or review. It helps more survivors find the podcast and the support they're looking for.