What happens when you ply a teenie, tiny Ashwini with enough espresso to fill up an old maiden's shoe? Pandemonium. But it also leads to a royal hanker down on subjects such as why straight men hate star signs, queer puppets and a little-known prophet who goes by the name GÜ RAMEKIN.

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Jack and Ash are joined by Jack's childhood friend and teacher Abigail to find out whether they've got what it takes to become teachers? Who will be the best at dealing with distractions? Who will deliver an exquisite sixty-second lesson?

Plus, there's a very special Bestie Dictionary: School Edition to be added to and a healthy (or unhealthy) dose of competition that Jack is totally fine about.

This episode is sponsored by the Department for Education and #getintoteaching

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The truth always comes out eventually... Will Jack forgive Ash for keeping secrets? There are also more shocking revelations to deal with concerning Buzzballs, haircuts and why Jack went viral after playing on a Mariah Carey themed slot machine in Vegas.

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There's a foul spirit in the air that needs to banished, and Jack has the perfect ritual deal with it. There's also a lot to debrief on regarding Cobb salad, the majesty of Skepta and the absolute BS of the undiscovered oceans.

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We've all been there. You're on a night out, you head to the final club of the evening and the queue is longer than a love letter to Ainsley Harriott. So you take the afters back to your house! Sure, you pick up a few stragglers on the way, but everyone knows everyone else, right?… RIGHT?! No one would have a random man in their house for seven hours that no one else knew, would they? There are mysteries aplenty here, plus why Jack HATES paella. Like, legitimately - we all got a bit scared.

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After a life-changing moment at The Moment, Jack and Ash quickly find themselves lost in Lost and have to hunker down in an old cinema. There’s also much to discuss regarding the death of cash, northern sayings, and why 2006 was infinitely better than 2016.

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We’re fresh off the "premier" red carpet and absolutely not behaving normally. Jack and Ash debrief the Wuthering Heights premiere, get distracted by Jacob Elordi’s face, and wage a passionate campaign for the frivolity of a finger sandwich. We also hear how turkeys do come in cans and the story of a phantom pooer let loose in Halifax.

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After discovering Ash’s beauty has been stolen by a foul and elusive bedevilment known as “Night Club AI”, Jack finds himself in some dark times (not that dark). Never one to shy away from the club though, Ash shares her unique outlook on how to game the system of drink-holding to allow for a world of plentiful frolicking. We also hear why babies could be the latest must-have accessory at an afters, and a moving tribute to our spiritual mother – Moira Rose x

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