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But For Real

But For Real

By: Valerie Martin & Emerson Ryder
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Welcome to But For Real: the podcast where all your swirling thoughts about mental health, pop culture, and how to human are blended into one delicious variety show, co-hosted by therapists Valerie Martin (resident elder millennial ✌️) and Emerson Ryder (resident Gen Z 🫶).Copyright 2026 Valerie Martin & Emerson Ryder Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Social Sciences
Episodes
  • They Can't Kill Us if Our Art Survives - with Wednesdae, @queer.art_therapist

    They Can't Kill Us if Our Art Survives - with Wednesdae, @queer.art_therapist
    May 27 2026

    In this episode of But For Real, we delve into the transformative realm of expressive arts therapy with our distinguished guest, Wednesdae Reim Ifrach. Their expertise lies at the confluence of queer embodiment, complex trauma, and creative healing, offering a profound perspective on how art can serve as a conduit for emotional expression and personal growth.

    We explore the misconception that art therapy is merely "arts and crafts for sad people," illuminating its true potential to facilitate deep, somatic healing beyond verbal communication. The conversation traverses the intersections of identity, creativity, and resistance, emphasizing the vital role of authenticity in both personal and professional spheres. Join us as we unpack these intricate themes, and discover how embracing one's multifaceted identity can foster resilience and empowerment in the face of societal challenges.

    Takeaways:

    • This episode explores the intersection of expressive arts therapy, trauma, and queer identity, highlighting their profound connections.
    • We discuss how art therapy transcends mere creative expression, serving as a legitimate therapeutic modality for adults.
    • The conversation emphasizes the importance of authenticity and personal expression in combating systemic oppression and fostering resilience.
    • Listeners are encouraged to pursue their own creative endeavors as acts of resistance against societal norms and expectations.
    • Wednesday's experiences illustrate the transformative power of art in healing trauma and affirming one's identity in a complex world.
    • The episode concludes with a call to action for increased accessibility and understanding of mental health resources and creative therapies.

    LINKS + Referenced in the Episode:

    • Wednesdae's website
    • Follow Wednesdae @queer.art_therapist on IG
    • The Gaia Center: Therapy in Nashville + coaching worldwide
    • Follow us @butforealpod and @thegaiacenter on IG
    • MOMA
    • Fire Road Foods
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    50 mins
  • Unmasking Autism with Devon Price, PhD

    Unmasking Autism with Devon Price, PhD
    May 13 2026
    What if the version of you most of the world knows… isn’t actually *you*?In this episode of But For Real, we’re sitting down with Devon Price, PhD—social psychologist, author of Unmasking Autism (+ several other books!), and badass autistic human—to get really REAL about something that is kinda the opposite of that:Masking.That pattern of adaptation that’s helped you survive… but can slowly erode at your sense of self. 🫠In this conversation, we get into what it actually means to “mask” as an autistic or otherwise neurodivergent person (hell, even just as a people-pleaser living in a capitalist society): how it shows up, why so many of us do it without even realizing, and what happens when you finally start to take that mask off.If you’re one of MANY people who was diagnosed with autism later in life, you know it can feel like a huge relief… but it can *also* feel like grief, anger, and even a full-on “who TF am I actually?” era.We’re talking about what it’s like to spend decades performing “normal,” only to realize you’ve been white-knuckling your way through life—and what it takes to rebuild something that actually fits.And we keep coming back to this:You don’t just “stop masking.”You slowly, painfully, honestly… learn how to exist as yourself.So if you’ve ever thought…“Why am I so exhausted ALL THE TIME?”“Why do I feel like I’m performing in every interaction?”“Who am I without all of this?”…this one’s for you. 🫂In this episode of But For Real, we unpack…What “masking” actually is—and why it’s so common in autistic adultsWhy late autism diagnoses often bring both relief AND griefThe hidden cost of people-pleasing and social “autopilot”Why you can’t just flip a switch and stop masking overnightHow identity confusion shows up after unmasking beginsThe role of burnout, exhaustion, and chronic overwhelmWhy safe relationships are essential for unmaskingThe emotional phases: relief → grief → anger → rebuildingHow to reconnect with your authentic self (without blowing up your whole life)And here’s the timestamps—00:00 – Welcome back to But For Real01:00 – Meet Devon Price, PhD (and why this convo matters)03:30 – The “hive mind” metaphor + masking as social survival05:30 – Listener question: late autism diagnosis in adulthood07:00 – Relief vs grief after diagnosis08:30 – “I’ve been performing my whole life…”10:30 – Why masking isn’t something you can just turn off13:00 – Identity confusion: who am I without the mask?16:00 – The emotional aftermath: anger, grief, and loss19:00 – Autistic burnout + chronic exhaustion22:00 – Safe people, safe spaces, and practicing authenticity26:00 – Reconnecting with your younger self30:00 – What unmasking actually looks like in real life35:00 – Why this process takes YEARS (not weeks)40:00 – Final thoughts: you’re not behind—you’re becomingConnect with Dr. DevonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdevonprice/Substack: https://drdevonprice.substack.com/ Books: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/2294535/devon-price-phd/ Connect with Us:Submit a story for The Lore segmentSubmit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segmentReach out: butforrealpod@gmail.com But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.
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    48 mins
  • The One About Polyamory with Em Mortenson

    The One About Polyamory with Em Mortenson
    Apr 29 2026
    So… your partner brings up opening the relationship. 👀And you’re trying to be thoughtful, open-minded, maybe even a little curious…but there’s also this voice in the background like:“Wait… do I actually want this?” 🫠In this episode of But For Real, we’re sitting down with therapist Em Mortenson to get into the real conversation around polyamory and ethical non-monogamy—beyond the labels, beyond the hot takes, and into what this actually looks and feels like in real life.Because yeah, on paper?It can sound freeing. Honest. Even aligned. ✨But in practice?It can bring up jealousy, fear, uncertainty—and a whole lot of questions about where your “yes” is actually coming from.We’re talking about what happens when a partner introduces this idea, how to navigate the in-between space of not knowing yet, and why this isn’t something you have to rush to figure out overnight.And we keep coming back to this:It’s one thing to understand something intellectually…and another to feel ready for it in your body.So if you’ve ever found yourself wondering:“Am I actually into this… or am I trying to be okay with it?”“Is jealousy a red flag—or just part of the process?”“How do I explore this without losing myself?”…yeah. This one’s for you. 💬From there, we unpack: How to tell if you’re genuinely interested in polyamory—or just trying to be “chill”Why jealousy is a normal part of ethical non-monogamy (and what to do with it)The difference between curiosity, pressure, and people-pleasing in relationshipsWhat polyamory and open relationships actually look like in real lifeWhy boundaries are essential—and constantly evolving—in non-monogamyCommon mistakes couples make when opening a relationshipHow fear of losing your partner can shape your decisionsWhy this isn’t a one-time “yes or no” decision—but an ongoing conversationWe talk about:00:00 – Welcome back to But For Real00:50 – Meet Em Mortenson (and the chaotic cat story 🐱)03:20 – Tiny pockets of joy when everything feels heavy05:50 – “My partner wants to open our relationship…” 👀07:10 – Am I open-minded… or just scared to lose them?09:00 – Polyamory vs monogamy: what are we actually talking about?12:30 – Why people jump into this too fast ⚠️15:30 – The biggest misconception about polyamory19:00 – Let’s talk about jealousy (because yeah… it’s coming)22:30 – Is jealousy a dealbreaker—or part of it?26:00 – What healthy polyamory can actually look like30:30 – Boundaries, communication, and real-life dynamics35:30 – When this goes wrong (and why it does)41:30 – Polyamory discourse, TikTok, and moral superiority 🙃47:30 – So… how do you know if this is right for you?Connect with Us:Submit a story for The Lore segmentSubmit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segmentReach out: butforrealpod@gmail.com But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.
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    54 mins
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