Jess and Kelly discuss what it would actually mean to start over with a baby at their stage of life — and why they're both firmly in the "no thank you" camp. They explore new research on postpartum hormones and the five-year timeline for hormonal homeostasis, and reflect on how that science reframes some of the harder seasons of early motherhood. Dr. Gabor Maté's work in The Myth of Normal comes up, particularly around how a mother's emotional state during pregnancy and early childhood shapes a child's long-term wellbeing. The conversation also touches on the unexpected gifts of older parenthood, the instinct to protect and over-worry, and the beautiful shift that comes when you finally start trusting your kids to figure things out.

And yes — there is a full dramatic reading of their kids' text messages. You will not be disappointed.

Resources & References Mentioned

• The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Maté
• Untamed by Glennon Doyle
• Chasing Brighter Newsletter: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter
• Follow Chasing Brighter on socials: @chasingbrighter

Connect With Us

Subscribe to the Chasing Brighter newsletter at chasingbrighter.com/newsletter and follow us on Instagram @chasingbrighter for behind-the-scenes glimpses into our lives and upcoming episodes.

Keywords & Search Terms

parenting in midlife, having a baby in your 40s, postpartum hormones, hormonal homeostasis after pregnancy, five years postpartum, Dr. Gabor Maté, Myth of Normal, Untamed Glennon Doyle, motherhood and marriage, real talk parenting, chasing brighter podcast, Jessica Colarco, Kelly, midlife women, parenting older kids, teen texts, kids and sports injuries, baseball injuries, letting go as a parent, parenting anxiety, postpartum science, women's hormones, midlife motherhood, parenting humor, sister podcast, authentic conversations, kids growing up, nostalgic parenting, family life podcast, women over 40, emotional health motherhood

No frameworks. No beats. Just Jessica and Kelly telling you what they actually think. In this month’s Hot Takes episode, the sisters close out April’s Energy & Overwhelm theme by going off-script and getting real about the mental load in relationships, the wellness industry’s complicated grip on women, raising sons to be better partners, and what it actually looks like to choose real over perfect. If you’ve been nodding along all month, this one is the payoff.

What We Cover in This Episode

• Hot Take #1 (Jessica): Sharing the mental load is one of the hardest things couples navigate — and most people aren’t being honest about how hard it actually is. It’s not about blame. It’s about a socialization gap that creates invisible labor, quiet resentment, and the exhausting reality of being the only one who knows what needs asking.
• Hot Take #2 (Kelly): Self-care culture has given women one more thing to fail at. The wellness industry has turned rest and recovery into a performance — and that’s worth pushing back on.
• Jessica responds: Wellness as a practice that serves you is not the same as wellness as your whole identity. Real self-care doesn’t require a red light mask or a Pilates membership — it requires showing yourself that you’re worthy of your own time and attention.
• Hot Take #3 (Jessica): Raising sons to be better partners than the ones we grew up watching is some of the most important work we do. What our kids see us model — about what women do for themselves, about what a partnership looks like — becomes the template they carry into adulthood.
• A reflection on April: celebrating progress, sitting with discomfort, and naming the one real thing that shifted for you this month.
• A preview of May: Identity & Expectations — the gap between the version of you everyone expects and the one you’re actually becoming.

This Month’s Brighter Move

Write down one real thing from April — something that shifted, something you did differently, something you want to keep. Then have one honest conversation you’ve been putting off about the load, about what you need, about what has to change. Not ready for the conversation? Write it down first. Sometimes just seeing it on paper is how you figure out what you actually want to say.

Coming Up in May

We’re shifting into Identity & Expectations month. We’re talking about the gap between the version of you that everyone expects and the one you’re actually becoming. It’s going to be a good one.

Connect With Us

• Website & Newsletter: chasingbrighter.com
• Socials: @ChasingBrighter

mental load, invisible labor, women and emotional labor, sharing household responsibilities, mental load in marriage, overcoming resentment in relationships, self-care culture criticism, wellness industry and women, real self-care, self-worth, raising sons to be good partners, modeling healthy relationships for kids, intergenerational patterns, breaking cycles, women and overwhelm, energy management for women, hot takes podcast, Chasing Brighter podcast, real over perfect, Kelly and Jessica, women’s midlife podcast, identity and expectations, anxiety and mental load, IFS internal family systems, fawning trauma response, socialization and gender roles

Jessica and Kelly kick things off with a fun, unfiltered conversation about their latest makeup adventures — from blue eyeshadow experimentation to skin tints and primers they're currently loving. Jessica shares a hilarious Ulta makeover story that didn't quite land with her family, and Kelly talks about her current go-to foundation for that dewy winter look. They close out with a surprisingly meaningful discovery: Jessica learning her eyes aren't actually brown — and what it means to really look at the people (and yourself) closest to you.

Products Mentioned

• Stila One Step Correct Skin Tone Correcting & Brightening Primer
• Live Tinted Hueguard Skin Tint SPF 50
• Stila Liqua Play Eyeshadow
• Milk Hydro Grip 12-Hour Hydrating Gel Skin Tint
• Jones Road Miracle Balm
• Jones Road Eyeshadow (pot formula)
• Glossier Future Dew Solid Oil Serum Illuminator
• Naturium Phyto Glow Lip Balm
• Rare Beauty eyebrow gel
• Mad Love Eyebrow Stamp

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Let's connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chasingbrighter

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chasingbrighter

Find us at chasingbrighter.com/newsletter for the blog, newsletter, and more. Follow us on socials @chasingbrighter.

blue eyeshadow trend, dewy skin makeup, skin tint SPF, Stila primer review, Milk makeup foundation, Jones Road Miracle Balm, hazel eyes, makeup for women, beauty product recommendations, glowy skin routine, eyebrow tips, Chasing Brighter podcast, self-discovery, women's lifestyle podcast, makeup favorites

This one is real. Before hitting record, Kelly shares something personal — her family is navigating health uncertainty with her father-in-law, and she's been quietly absorbing everything at home while her husband is pulled elsewhere. No ask for sympathy, just honesty. And it's exactly the kind of thing that never makes it onto a to-do list. This week, Jessica and Kelly get into invisible labor — the unpaid, unacknowledged work of managing, coordinating, anticipating, and holding everything together — and what carrying it silently actually costs you over time.

In This Episode

• What invisible labor actually is (and why so many women have never heard the term)
• The difference between mental load and doing tasks — the doing can be shared, but the knowing often isn't
• Why invisible labor doesn't have to be about marriage and kids — it shows up in solo business ownership, caregiving, friendships, and more
• The specific kind of resentment that builds when your contribution goes chronically unseen — and what it signals clinically
• Jessica's honest story: 20 years into marriage before the mental load genuinely shifted, and what actually changed
• Raising sons who understand what it takes — and breaking generational patterns around who holds the household
• Why naming it out loud — even just saying it — makes it feel lighter
• The identity cost: when your own needs start feeling like luxury items that get cut from the budget
• Kelly's mental load audit (15 minutes, no editing, just get it all out)
• Jessica's Brighter Move: find one thing you've been managing alone and ask for it to be shared — not handed off, just shared

Brighter Move of the Week

Find one thing on your list that you've been managing alone and make one specific ask to share it. That's it. Start there.

Mental Load Audit

Got 15 minutes? Write down everything you're currently tracking, managing, or holding in your head. Don't edit it — just get it out. Looking at the full list is often the first time we give ourselves credit for how much we're actually carrying.

Next Week

We're closing out April with something a little different — hot takes. No caveats, no softening. Just what Jessica and Kelly actually think about everything they've covered this month: energy, capacity, invisible labor, all of it. You don't want to miss it.

Free Download 🎁

Are You Living Your Values or Someone Else's? — a free values clarity guide with 5 honest questions and 5 tips for living more aligned. Free when you sign up for our newsletter. 👉 chasingbrighter.com

Connect With Us 📲 Instagram: @chasingbrighter 🌐 chasingbrighter.com

invisible labor, mental load, cognitive labor, unpaid labor women, second shift, emotional labor, women and mental health, invisible work, household management, mental load in marriage, mental load audit, resentment in relationships, burnout women, caregiver burnout, women holding it together, motherhood and identity, working women mental load, raising boys, generational patterns, solo business owner burnout, women's podcast, chasing brighter podcast, invisible work in partnerships, sharing the mental load, women and resentment, naming your feelings, capacity overwhelm

No agenda, no framework — just Jess and Kelly doing what they do best: talking real life. This week it's all about what we're actually wearing this season (barrel jeans turned cutoffs, gold Birkenstocks, and a strong prediction for the summer's biggest shoe trend), how to stay warm and somewhat cute when you live somewhere that goes from 40 to 70 degrees in 48 hours, and the completely unhinged Trader Joe's tote experience that somehow turned into a lesson about just getting in the line. Come for the fashion chat, stay for the chaos.

In This Episode

• Jess's barrel jeans era — and why it lasted approximately five minutes before she grabbed the scissors
• Why jelly sandals and jelly flip-flops are about to be everywhere this summer (tortoise shell, specifically)
• Kelly's cold-weather layering system: merino-adjacent thermals, stretchy jeans, Sorel boots, and a Hunter coat that sold out everywhere
• Heated vests, heated gloves, heated pants — and the glowing logo that accidentally became a cold-weather parent uniform at every Chicago sports game
• Secondhand shopping smarter: The RealReal, Poshmark, and thrifting as a real strategy (not just a trend)
• Does your closet reflect your values? A quick riff on intentional spending, capsule wardrobes, and letting go of fast fashion
• The Trader Joe's spring tote situation — the line, the bins, the resellers, and the old woman with opinions about Takis
• "If there's a line, get in the line" — Kassidy Lynn Social's advice that honestly applies to life

Free Download 🎁

Are You Living Your Values or Someone Else's? — a free values clarity guide with 5 honest questions and 5 real tips for living more aligned. Free when you sign up for our newsletter. 👉 chasingbrighter.com/newsletter

Connect With Us 📲 Instagram: @chasingbrighter 🌐 chasingbrighter.com

spring fashion women, summer shoe trends 2025, jelly sandals trend, barrel jeans, Dolce Vita sandals, cold weather layering, Sorel boots, Hunter coat, Trader Joe's tote bag, Trader Joe's spring totes, secondhand shopping, The RealReal, Poshmark, thrift shopping tips, capsule wardrobe, intentional spending, values and money, fast fashion alternatives, women's fashion podcast, lifestyle podcast for women, chasing brighter podcast, Superwoman Diaries, Kut from the Kloth, Merino wool thermals, heated vest, jorts trend, spring wardrobe

Have you ever looked at your week and thought, if I could just get more organized, I could handle all of this? In this episode, Jessica and Kelly get into a reframe that might be the most important mindset shift you make this month: the difference between a discipline problem and a capacity problem — and why confusing the two keeps so many high-achieving women stuck in a cycle of self-blame.

Jessica opens with a real-life story about having three kids in three places at the same time and the moment she stopped calling it a personal failure. Because here's the truth: no amount of discipline puts you in two places at once. Capacity is real, it's finite, and it changes — and it's time we start working with that reality instead of against ourselves.

In This Episode

• Why high-achieving women are especially prone to the "I just need to try harder" trap
• The crucial difference between a discipline problem and a capacity problem (and why it changes everything)
• How capacity actually works — it rises and falls based on rest, stress, season of life, and what you're carrying
• The myth of willpower: why white-knuckling through a capacity issue doesn't refill the tank
• Capability vs. obligation — you can be capable of something and still not be required to do it
• The two questions that point in completely different directions: "What can I do more?" vs. "What is asking too much of me right now?"
• A language swap that takes seconds and changes how you relate to your limits
• Kelly's daily capacity check-in practice (it's simpler than you think)
• A nod to Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman and the case for opting out

Brighter Move of the Week

A simple language swap: every time you catch yourself saying "I should be able to handle this," try replacing it with just — "This is a lot." No comparison. No justification. Just let it be a lot.

Free Download 🎁

Are You Living Your Values or Someone Else's? — a free values clarity guide with 5 honest questions and 5 tips to help you start living more aligned with what actually matters to you. 👉 chasingbrighter.com — free when you sign up for our newsletter.

Next Week

We're talking about the work that never makes it onto any job description — invisible labor. The quiet, endless work that runs in the background of so many women's lives, and what it's actually costing beyond time and energy. (You may want to share that one with someone specific.)

Connect With Us 📲 Instagram: @chasingbrighter 🌐 Website: chasingbrighter.com

overwhelm, capacity, burnout prevention, women and mental health, high-achieving women, burnout recovery, energy management, mindset shift, self-compassion, overcommitment, limits, boundaries, values alignment, invisible load, mental load women, mom burnout, work-life balance women, people pleasing, podcast for women, productivity reframe, willpower myth, emotional bandwidth, doing too much, saying no, opting out, self-awareness, four thousand weeks, Oliver Burkeman, chasing brighter podcast

Jessica kicks off this Superwoman Diaries with a little confession — she got new ear piercings, and everything we learned in the '90s about aftercare was wrong. She shares what current piercing care actually looks like (hint: put down the peroxide and stop twisting!), why she and Kelly are both craving a refreshed look, and how it all connects to breaking free from "good girl" conditioning and finally just doing the things that feel like you. Plus — Gabby's last-minute commitment party came together in six days and it was everything.

In this episode:

• Why Jessica got multiple new ear piercings (inspired by Michelle Obama, naturally)
• Old-school piercing care vs. what actually works: saline spray, no twisting, no peroxide
• Why ear piercings and tattoos feel like acts of identity and self-expression
• The connection to Untamed by Glennon Doyle and breaking free from "good girl" rules
• Raising teenagers — the joy, the roasting, and the Inside Out 2 feelings
• Gabby's surprise softball commitment party, pulled together in under a week

Free Download Mentioned: Are You Living Your Values or Someone Else's? — a free values clarity guide. Sign up at chasingbrighter.com.

Connect with us:

• Website & newsletter: chasingbrighter.com
• Instagram: @chasingbrighter

Keywords: ear piercing aftercare, new ear piercings, piercing care tips, saline spray for piercings, midlife self-expression, living authentically, values alignment, breaking free from good girl conditioning, Glennon Doyle Untamed, raising teenagers, college softball commitment, Chasing Brighter podcast, women's lifestyle podcast, real over perfect, midlife women podcast, identity and self-discovery, choosing yourself

Jessica opens this month with something deeply personal — six years of intentional self-work, 40 pounds lost, a thriving practice, two podcasts, three kids in sports, and a life she genuinely loves. And yet. There are still days when something feels off. Not physically. Deeper. This week, she and Kelly name something that doesn't show up on any wellness checklist: the exhaustion that comes from holding things — schedules, emotional temperatures, everyone else's needs — and why that kind of tired is worth paying attention to.

If you've ever snapped at someone, felt immediately guilty, and then felt even more depleted by the guilt itself — this episode was made for you.

What We Talk About

• Why you can love your life and still be genuinely depleted by it
• The snap-guilt-deplete feedback loop (and why it's not a character flaw)
• The difference between physical exhaustion and the weight of invisible labor
• How depletion builds through accumulation — not crisis
• Why numbing (scrolling, binge-watching) doesn't actually restore you
• Real, honest things Kelly and Jess actually do when the system needs something it's not getting: journaling, canceling plans without guilt, opting out, asking for help, protecting sleep, choosing connection that energizes
• Your Brighter Move for the week: Where is my energy going? (No fixing required — just noticing)

Free Download

📥 Are You Living Your Values or Someone Else's? A free values clarity guide with five honest questions and five tips for living more aligned. Get it free when you sign up for our newsletter at chasingbrighter.com/newsletter

Connect With Us

📲 Follow us on socials: @chasingbrighter 🌐 Visit us at: chasingbrighter.com 📩 Subscribe to our newsletter + grab your free download: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter

Next Week

Why capable, high-functioning women keep hitting invisible walls — and why trying harder is genuinely the wrong answer. We're talking about capacity, and it quietly reframes everything. Don't miss it.

women's wellness podcast, energy and overwhelm, emotional exhaustion, invisible labor, mental load, burnout in women, how to restore energy, emotional labor, high-functioning exhaustion, women who do it all, values clarity, choosing real over perfect, bone-deep tired, energy management for women, overwhelm without crisis, Jessica Colarco, Kelly, Chasing Brighter podcast, midlife women, women's mental health, capacity and boundaries