A high-conflict custody battle can make even the most devoted parent feel powerless. In this episode, Derek Salyers shares the deeply personal story of fighting for shared parenting after being falsely accused, cut off from his son for months, and pulled into a years-long family court battle.

Derek opens up about the mental health toll many fathers silently carry, the realities of parallel parenting, and why he believes the family court system still struggles with bias. He also shares how AI tools like ChatGPT helped him navigate legal documents, parenting plans, communication, and court preparation during one of the hardest periods of his life.

This episode contains discussion of suicide and mental health struggles. Please listen with care.

Learn more about Derek Salyers and Fathers for Fair Custody: https://fathersforfaircustody.com

Get Derek’s book, The Forgotten Fathers on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CBN8M3XB

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Custody Journal (Free Documentation Tool): https://custodyjournal.com

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rIqoK79LcrU

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords
high conflict custody battle, fathers rights, shared parenting, false accusations in family court, parallel parenting, fatherhood and divorce, custody battle mental health, AI for family court, right of first refusal, co-parenting communication

Takeaways

• Parallel Parenting Can Protect Peace: In some high-conflict situations, minimizing communication is healthier than forcing collaboration.
• AI Can Be a Powerful Tool: ChatGPT helped Derek understand legal language, prepare questions, structure communication, and think through parenting plans.
• Always Fact-Check AI: AI can hallucinate cases and legal information, making verification essential before using anything in court.
• Right of First Refusal Matters: Parenting plan clauses can significantly impact how much real parenting time each parent receives.
• Documentation Can Change Outcomes: Photos, videos, receipts, calendars, and journals can become critical evidence in custody disputes.
• Fathers’ Mental Health Needs Attention: Derek speaks openly about suicidal thoughts, isolation, and the emotional impact of losing contact with a child.
• You Can’t Control the Other Household: Peace often begins when parents stop trying to control what happens outside their parenting time.
• Growth Is Still Possible: Even in devastating circumstances, healing, self-reflection, and personal growth can emerge from the experience.

Chapters
01:27 – From Divorce to Parallel Parenting
04:22 – How AI Helped Build a Parenting Plan
08:04 – False Allegations & Losing Contact With His Son
13:18 – The Story Behind The Forgotten Fathers
16:48 – Men’s Mental Health During Custody Battles
20:16 – Fighting for Shared Parenting Rights
27:57 – The Risks and Benefits of Using AI in Court
32:19 – The Biggest Lie Fathers Are Told About Custody
37:00 – Letting Go of Control in Co-Parenting
39:55 – Advice for Parents in the Darkest Moments

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Divorce is often framed as something you “win” or “lose”—but what if that mindset is exactly what keeps you stuck? In this episode, family law attorney and author Nicole Sodoma shares candid, hard-earned insights from both sides of the courtroom. After decades advising clients—and then going through her own divorce—Nicole reveals what actually matters when you’re navigating high-conflict co-parenting.

From why saying “I’m sorry” can be disempowering, to the realities of parallel parenting, to the small communication shifts that can completely change your dynamic, this conversation is grounded, practical, and refreshingly honest. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck in conflict, or unsure how to move forward, this episode offers a clearer path.

Learn more about Nicole Sodoma: https://nicolesodoma.com

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/y_uWkYGxTPI

Keywords
co-parenting, high conflict divorce, parallel parenting, family court reality, divorce attorney advice, co-parenting boundaries, communication strategies, conscious uncoupling, nesting after divorce, parenting plan challenges

Takeaways

• You Don’t Win in Family Court: Even when you “win” an issue, it rarely feels like victory—and much is outside your control.
• Stop Saying “I’m Sorry”: Well-meaning language can reinforce a victim mindset and undermine your sense of agency.
• Parallel Parenting Is a Path, Not a Fix: It can reduce conflict, but it won’t eliminate disagreements—you still need systems for decision-making.
• Communication Is Everything: The structure, timing, and tone of how you communicate can either escalate conflict or create stability.
• Pick Your Priorities Early: Knowing what truly matters helps you avoid getting lost in battles driven by principle instead of purpose.
• You Can’t Change Your Ex: The only leverage you have is how you show up, communicate, and respond.
• Freedom and Grief Coexist: Emotional ups and downs are normal—and temporary—as you move through separation.

Chapters

00:01 – Meet Nicole Sodoma
02:25 – How Divorce Changed Her Perspective
04:07 – Why “I’m Sorry” Can Be Harmful
05:27 – Nesting: When It Doesn’t Work
07:26 – Conscious Uncoupling: Reality Check
10:04 – Parallel Parenting Explained
11:57 – Boundaries That Protect You
14:28 – Structuring Communication
17:49 – Handling Disagreements
18:47 – Picking Your Battles
21:21 – The Myth of “Winning”
24:52 – The Most Underrated Skill
26:54 – Final Advice

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Are you co-parenting with someone who seems to change the rules, twist reality, and keep you constantly on edge? Divorce is hard enough—but when you’re dealing with manipulation, control, and emotional chaos, it can feel impossible to find your footing. In this episode, Tracy Malone, author and renowned narcissistic abuse recovery coach, breaks down exactly how to protect your peace, support your kids, and reclaim your power in a system that often feels stacked against you.

Learn more about Tracy Malone at: https://tracyamalone.com/ and https://narcissistabusesupport.com

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Other Resources Mentioned: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0345487427

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/1Lm1hG5JQiY

Keywords
co-parenting with a narcissist, parallel parenting, high conflict divorce, narcissistic abuse recovery, co-parenting communication, parenting plan strategy, gaslighting and DARVO, emotional regulation for parents, supporting kids through divorce, family court strategies

Takeaways

• The Teflon Strategy: How to stop absorbing emotional attacks so they don’t derail your day—or your parenting.
• Parallel Parenting Reality Check: How to let go of control in the other household while staying grounded and consistent in your own.
• The Documentation Filter: What actually matters to track (and what will just drain your energy).
• The BIFF Response Method: How to reply to triggering messages without giving your ex ammunition.
• The Parenting Plan Power Move: How to build in protections now that save you years of stress (and thousands in legal fees) later.
• The Emotional Resilience Toolkit for Kids: How to help your children regulate, process, and stay grounded between two very different homes.
  
  

Chapters

01:22 – The Wake-Up Call: When “Normal” Isn’t Actually Normal
04:31 – Parallel Parenting: Acceptance or Giving Up Control?
07:13 – The Escalation Phase: What to Expect Before (and During) Divorce
09:06 – Documentation Without Losing Your Sanity
10:46 – The Biggest Early Mistake Most Parents Make
11:27 – Post-Divorce Power Struggles: Money & Control
12:43 – Communication Traps: How They Bait You Into Losing Control
15:05 – The BIFF Method: Responding Without Fueling the Fire
16:00 – Regulating Yourself Before You Respond
17:26 – DARVO, Gaslighting & The Mind Games Explained
19:07 – Supporting Kids in Two Opposite Worlds
20:16 – Why Co-Parenting Can Feel Like an 18-Year Sentence
23:39 – The Parenting Plan That Saves You Years of Court
26:55 – Setting Boundaries Around Communication
27:57 – When Your Ex Lies to Your Kids: What Actually Helps
29:34 – Helping Kids Build Emotional Resilience
33:20 – Signs Your Child Needs Extra Support
36:51 – Peace Starts Here: Letting Go of the Fight
37:13 – A Narcissist’s Favorite Tool
37:28 – What the Legal System Gets Wrong
39:45 – One Thing You Can Do Today to Feel More Empowered
43:22 – Where to Find Tracy Malone

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond