On Decoding the Gurus, we regularly get to hear a lot of truly “high-level” ideas, but the much-requested subject of this episode’s decoding is up there with the best of them. We are talking, of course, about “Professor” Jiang, the internet’s favourite new overly confident online guru, now that Jordan Peterson is indisposed. Jiang Xueqin is a secondary school teacher who has found an online audience thirsty for his particular style of confident bullshit, and he is more than ready to roll out his “predictive history” analyses on command.

Be prepared for some serious professorial cosplay as Stephen Bartlett, from Diary of a CEO, spares no expense in his endless quest to indulge every modern online crank, offering a grab bag of props as well as his usual thoughtful pauses and awe-inspiring requests for definitions. Thrill as the honorary professor performs as a grand seer and geopolitical strategist, complete with a tabletop world map, wargame prop pieces, whiteboard flowcharts, coloured chess sets, and a dramatic metal briefcase full of sealed predictions.

So get ready to experience his hit-parade of forecasts (Trump's 3rd term, endless war with Iran, eventual U.S. “loss”) along with his trademark conspiratorial mélange of real-ish facts, misstatements, and domino-chain inevitabilities. The end of Part 1 is a sign of things to come, featuring Jiang's post-apocalyptic advice on how the good people can rebuild society with the help of prophets and visionaries (AKA gurus) and soothe yourself with the knowledge that we are all ultimately just a God-derived fractal consciousness anyway.

Sources

• Diary of a CEO: Professor Jiang: World War 3 Is About To Begin, Let Me Explain!
• Mehdi Hasan vs. ‘Professor’ Jiang
• Professor Jiang talking about the Nephilim and Other Such Stuff: The World Is a Prison– The Secret Meaning of God And Creation | Prof. Jiang Xueqin
• Professor Jiang promoting creationism and denying evolution
• The National Security Strategy of the United States Document

We exercise good faith and grapple with the ever-versatile context window in this unintentionally thematic episode.

Supplementary Material 51

The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (Full Episode: 1hr 18 mins)

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00:00 Introduction

01:40 Jordan Hall's Suspicious Semiotic Parasites

08:52 A New Covenant for the American Republic

14:33 Dave Rubin's support group after Jubilee

14:52 Dr. K vs 20 Depressed People

20:05 The Fifth Column Welcomes Batya Ungar Sargon (Again)

21:18 Anti-Semitism isn't really an issue on the Right

25:39 Moynihan agrees that Tucker Carlson is a Leftist

30:40 I don't really know what he has said...

37:38 When Taylor Lorenz met Brad Palumbo

41:24 Taylor is a Good Faith Person who is often misrepresented

44:32 Was Taylor cheering on the killing of healthcare CEOs?

51:16 Suggesting Targets or Providing "Context"

57:48 The Victimhood Pose

01:01:01 Selective "Understanding"

01:06:41 The Moral Grandstanding Escape Hatch

01:12:10 Strategic Ambiguity across the Spectrum

01:15:22 The Connecting Theme!

Links

• Jordan Hall discussing his neo-Nazi interview with David Fuller: Sensemaking, Gatekeeping & the Propertarians, Jordan Hall
• Sensemaking & Gatekeeping: Talking with Fascists
• Jordan Hall’s Markdown Tweet
• Dave Rubin Clip of him coping over his Jubilee Performance
• Batya Ungar-Sargon and the Status Revolution (Members Only #328)
• Brad CONFRONTS left-wing star journalist Taylor Lorenz!!
• DTG- Jordan Hall: Sensemaking, or the superficial pitter-patter on the neocortex?
• Taylor Lorenz: 'Somebody needs to do it'

In this Gurometer edition, Matt and Chris feed Iain McGilchrist into the sacred instrument to see where exactly refined country-parish-minister vibes land when combined with galaxy-brained hemispheres, civilisational decline narratives, decorative scholarship, and the other features of guruosity.

Iain McGilchrist Gurometer

00:27 Introduction

01:00 Iain McGilchrist Reactions

04:40 Galaxy Brain-ness

06:39 Cultishness

08:28 Anti-Establishmentarianism

11:39 Grievance Mongering

14:30 Self-Aggrandizement and Narcissism

17:21 Cassandra Complex

19:54 Revolutionary Theories

20:48 Pseudo-Profound Bullshit

24:10 Conspiracy Mongering

25:08 Excessive Profiteering

26:10 Moral Grandstanding

27:15 Overall Score

28:47 Bonus Round

33:04 Guru Binary Scores

37:18 Outro