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Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery

Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery

By: Allen Berger & Thom Rutledge
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Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholic's Anonymous, wrote in 1952, "If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root some unhealthy dependence and its consequent demand." Wilson suggested that if we could identify and continually surrender these unrealistic and unrecognizable demands, that we may then be able to accomplish what he imagined to be recovery's next frontier - something he called emotional sobriety. Flash forward 70 years, and join psychotherapists and best-selling authors Thom Rutledge and Dr. Allen Berger, who have taken up the mantle of exploring Bill Wilson's new frontier. Welcome to Emotional Sobriety.© 2021 Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • Disappointments Are Not Obstacles
    Apr 5 2026

    Thom’s Nutshell:

    Life is a wonderful blessing, with many great disappointments. Can you see disappointment as a gift?”

    In emotional sobriety, we attempt to believe that we are here to learn from whatever we are given, which Thom calls “positive opportunism.” How can we use what disappoints us to become a better person? How can we use it to be productive? Acting “as if” this was the plan all along can help us through. If we appreciate the true nature of things, we’re free from expectations about how they’re “supposed to” be.

    Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com

    Visit our website:

    www.emotionalsobriety.info

    Follow us on social media:

    Instagram: thomrutledge2

    Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

    Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here:

    https://rebelliondogspublishing.com

    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events

    Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

    Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

    https://zoom.us/j/330149513

    Password: 375986

    For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

    Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

    We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

    We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.

    Show More Show Less
    34 mins
  • Anger is Just Another Feeling
    Mar 26 2026

    Thom’s Nutshell:

    One of emotional sobriety's greatest challenges is for us to understand and accept our contribution to our own distress without becoming distracted by self-condemnation.

    Shame and humility are not the same thing. One of the first levels of self-acceptance is an utter refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with ourselves. When we take ownership over our own existence, there’s nowhere left to hide. In this episode, Allen and Thom touch on the notion of writing an apology letter to our bodies for the way we’ve disregarded them - a practice that will further our journey towards wholeness.

    Behind anger is pain. If we keep yelling about what’s bothering us, behind the rage are usually tears. In dealing with anger, we continue trying to live in the space between a stimulus and a response, which widens as we continue to practice emotional sobriety and maintain alignment with reality.

    Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com

    Visit our website:

    www.emotionalsobriety.info

    Follow us on social media:

    Instagram: thomrutledge2

    Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

    Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here:

    https://rebelliondogspublishing.com

    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events

    Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

    Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

    https://zoom.us/j/330149513

    Password: 375986

    For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

    Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

    We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

    We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.

    Chapters
    • (00:00:07) - Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery
    • (00:03:31) - Responsibility for One's Life
    • (00:09:59) - Tom Brokaw on His Own Body
    • (00:13:47) - Separation and the Authentic Me
    • (00:14:01) - Angry Feelings and Emotional Sobriety
    • (00:17:18) - The Anger of Alcoholics
    • (00:21:31) - The Anger of Relationships
    • (00:26:01) - Alan on Being a Codependent
    Show More Show Less
    31 mins
  • Moving Forward After Relapse, Part Two
    Mar 16 2026

    Thom’s Nutshell:

    Rigorous honesty begins at home.

    Joe C. joins us to discuss the ways relapse is experienced by the loved ones of the relapser, and how we can think about these distressing events differently. The universe isn’t guided by structure and order alone. There’s chaos as well. We have influence, but not control, and with emotional sobriety we can more clearly see that distinction.

    Thank you for listening to our podcast. Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com

    Visit our website:

    www.emotionalsobriety.info

    Follow us on social media:

    Instagram: thomrutledge2

    Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

    Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here:

    https://rebelliondogspublishing.com

    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events

    Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

    Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

    https://zoom.us/j/330149513

    Password: 375986

    For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

    Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

    We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

    We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.

    Show More Show Less
    30 mins
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