Thom’s Nutshell:

Ignoring our own dark potential only makes it stronger. Avoid washing dishes and there are not only more of them, they are also harder to clean. The difference between a reasonable and unreasonable expectation.

From Allen: You can want from the best in you, or from the worst in you. You can want from what is healthy and solid, or what is empty and covetous. Wanting from neediness is common. Wanting from your solid, flexible self takes personal development. It takes growing up.

From Thom: if any of you are afraid you’ve taken on your parents’ characteristics, relax. You have.

The 5 Points of Balance:

1. Staying clear about our values and worth in the face of criticism (not letting others edit your sense of self).
2. Calming our anxiety and comforting our emotional bruises or trauma.
3. Grounded responding and not overreacting or under reacting when there is tension or anxiety.
4. Confronting ourselves for our own integrity and able to meaningfully endure discomfort for our growth and development.
5. Unhooking self, others and reality from unreasonable expectations.

Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com

Visit our website:

www.emotionalsobriety.info

Follow us on social media:

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here:

https://rebelliondogspublishing.com

Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.

• (00:00:00) - Emotional Sobriety
• (00:08:44) - How to Unhook the Hook From Your Relationship
• (00:17:02) - How to Stop Ignoring Your Own Dark Potential
• (00:20:55) - Your Sexual Attraction in Therapy
• (00:24:44) - Countertransference in the Glass Household
• (00:26:55) - Procrastination and Recovery
• (00:31:08) - How Complicated Is Writing a Letter?

Thom’s Nutshell:

“The promise of perfection is a red herring. Don't be distracted from your pursuit of learning and improving.”

Patrick celebrates eight years of sobriety and the gang discusses the importance of honoring recovery milestones.

The 5 Points of Balance:

1. Staying clear about our values and worth in the face of criticism (not letting others edit your sense of self).
2. Calming our anxiety and comforting our emotional bruises or trauma.
3. Grounded responding and not overreacting or under reacting when there is tension or anxiety.
4. Confronting ourselves for our own integrity and able to meaningfully endure discomfort for our growth and development.
5. Unhooking self, others and reality from unreasonable expectations.

Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com

Visit our website:

www.emotionalsobriety.info

Follow us on social media:

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here:

https://rebelliondogspublishing.com

Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.

• (00:00:00) - Emotional Sobriety
• (00:04:10) - Joe Sobriety on His Eight Years of Recovery
• (00:07:21) - Applying the Principle of Differentiation to Emotional Sobriety
• (00:14:27) - The Differentiation in Personal Life
• (00:16:16) - 5 Points of Balance: How to Calm Your Anxiety
• (00:20:51) - Emotional Sobriety: Being More Present
• (00:25:22) - Tom on His Wife's Fight

Thom’s Nutshell:

“Recipe for peace of mind:

KNOW what you believe.

KNOW what is important.

KNOW what is within your control.

LIVE congruently with what you believe.”

Thom and Patrick discuss “the upside of addiction” (as a means of climbing out of it), emotional sobriety and relationship struggles, using during therapy, and approaching addiction as a binary choice between life and death.

Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com

Visit our website:

www.emotionalsobriety.info

Follow us on social media:

Instagram: thomrutledge2

Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs

Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here:

https://rebelliondogspublishing.com

Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events

Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/

Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):

https://zoom.us/j/330149513

Password: 375986

For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g

Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519

We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.

We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.

• (00:00:00) - Emotional Sobriety: Don't Get Married
• (00:03:40) - A Simple Recipe for More Happiness in Your Relationship
• (00:08:50) - The Importance of the Recovery Decision
• (00:12:34) - Patrick on Avoiding Problems
• (00:16:52) - Joe's Reflections on Alcoholism
• (00:24:02) - On the Motivation of Recovery People