Ep.63 The Real Reason the Breathing "Isn't Working" for Your Anxiety
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If you've ever known exactly what to do for your anxiety and still couldn't make yourself do it... this one's going to hit. Because it's not about lacking the knowledge. It never was.
EPISODE SUMMARY You've read the books. You've done the research. You know breathing helps. You know mindfulness is good for you. And yet — when the anxiety actually hits, you check out, go through the motions, and end up right back where you started.
In this episode, Sari gets real about why knowing isn't enough. The anxious programs running in the background are designed to keep you safe — which means they are also designed to keep you exactly the same. The safety bubble feels comfortable. But it's a trap.
She breaks down what actually has to happen in the moment anxiety shows up: the choice, the presence, the willingness to sit in the fire for two minutes without giving up. She talks about your nervous system, the vagus nerve, and why slowing down isn't "doing nothing" — it's the whole point. And she calls out the sneaky way we seek validation for staying stuck instead of asking what's working.
This is a fired-up episode. And if you're someone who knows more than you're doing, it was made for you.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
- Why knowing what to do isn't enough to change your anxiety
- How your safety bubble keeps you stuck in the same patterns every day
- What it actually means to be present during a breathing exercise
- Why seeking validation from others can reinforce the anxious identity
- How the vagus nerve connects to your heart — and why that changes everything
- What choosing a new identity looks like in a real, 2-minute moment
- Why sitting in the fire isn't painful — it's just unfamiliar
REFLECTION
- What behavior or tool do you keep abandoning before giving it a real chance?
- Are you looking for someone to tell you it's not working — or are you looking for what actually is?
- When anxiety comes online today, what would it look like to stay in the room with it instead of checking out?
FREE NERVOUS SYSTEM RESET
If anxiety has you checked out before you even start, download the free 5-Minute Nervous System Reset to help your body slow down in real time. https://thegrowthgoddess.net/free-meditation
WORK WITH SARI
Ready to stop doing the same thing every day and expecting something different? Book a free Freedom Roadmap Session and let's map out what it actually looks like to change. https://link.thegrowthgoddess.net/widget/bookings/freedomroadmapsession
You're not broken. You're not behind. And you're not alone. If you made it here, that means something.
Time Stamps
00:00 — Why Sari is fired up today
02:07 — The client who has all the knowledge but can't put it into motion
03:29 — How the anxious safety bubble keeps you doing the same thing on repeat
05:51 — Why breathing "doesn't work" (and what's actually happening when you try)
08:18 — Sitting in the fire: why discomfort is part of the process
10:38 — The hair salon story and how we seek validation to stay stuck
12:42 — Fight or flight, the amygdala, and why you can't think your way out of anxiety
15:09 — The vagus nerve: why your heart is leading more than your brain
17:17 — The first step: just admitting it
5 minute nervous system reset ad for midroll