In this episode of Pages and Play, Freya and I discuss how bibliotherapy and play therapy can support children and adults navigating grief and loss, reviewing grief models including Kübler-Ross’s stages (noting its origins and nonlinearity), Lois Tonkin’s “growing around grief” metaphor (fried egg), and Shelly Gilbert’s upward-spiral model. We discuss how literature and poetry act as emotional translators through identification, catharsis, and insight, and introduce the “mirrors, windows, doors” framework for connecting to feelings and new understandings. The key to emotional regulation is framed as staying connected to oneself across emotional states rather than constant calm. We use the story of Goodbye Mog to illustrate how a parent used it to help her 7-year-old process their beloved pet cat’s passing through conversation, euthanasia preparation, and imaginative “ghost” play.

This episode also shares children’s and adult book recommendations, creative and play prompts, bibliotherapy techniques (poetry, letters, narrative re-authoring), and resources such as Winston’s Wish.

00:00 Grief and Loss Intro

00:15 Grief Models Explained

01:01 Life Grows Around Grief

02:19 Why Books Help Us Grieve

04:34 Poetry and Group Healing

08:05 Regulation Not Calm

10:05 Narrative Mirrors Windows Doors

15:19 Lucy and Luke Cat Story

21:13 Kids Books for Grief

22:43 More Recommendations and Memoirs

26:34 Play and Bibliotherapy Prompts

30:19 Rituals Creativity and Closing

32:02 Final Reflections and Goodbye

Books Mentioned:

• The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
• The Memory Tree by Britta Teckentrup
• The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld
• Goodbye, Mog by Judith Kerr
• Rabbitiness by Jo Empson
• Mist Monster by Beautyman, Kirsti
• Oh, The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss
• Mum’s Jumper by Jade Perkin
• A Storm in a Jar by Samuel Langley-Swain and Katie Cottle
• The Boy in the Black Suit by Jason Reynolds
• The Astonishing Colour of After by Emily Pan
• The Grieving Teen by Helen Fitzgerald
• My Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
• Lost and Found by Kathryn Schulz
• Grief Works by Julia Samuel
• Finding Joy By Gary Andrews

Play Prompt:

• Recall Luke’s story to highlight compassion, the value of sharing narratives, and the importance of accepting emotions.
• Encourage children to express feelings and be open to your child’s imaginative journeys like Luke’s one of Misty.
• Recommend resources such as Winston’s Wish website for creative activities and conversation starters.

Bibliotherapy Prompt:

• The key is not just which book you choose, but how you engage with it
• Use bibliotherapy techniques: reading/writing poetry, writing letters to lost loved ones, narrative therapy
• Read slowly, pause, ask questions, or sit quietly with the story together

Themes:

• The healing power of play and storytelling.
• The transformative role of literature in therapy and self-discovery.
• Methodologies for recommending books to support mental health and emotional growth.
• Encouragement for parents to observe and nurtu

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