Groundhog Day Recovery: Why You Keep Ending Up Back Where You Started

How many times have you told yourself that tomorrow will be different?

Tomorrow you’ll eat properly.
Tomorrow you’ll stop compensating.
Tomorrow you’ll stop negotiating with the eating disorder.
Tomorrow you’ll finally do recovery “right.”

And yet somehow… you end up back in the same place.

The same thoughts.
The same rules.
The same exhaustion.

If that feels familiar, this episode of Fly to Freedom is for you.

In this solo episode, I’m talking about one of the most frustrating patterns I see in eating disorder recovery — making progress, only to quietly undo it later.

I call this Groundhog Day recovery.

It’s that exhausting experience of trying so hard to recover while repeatedly finding yourself back in familiar behaviours — restricting, compensating, over-exercising, body checking, tightening rules, or promising yourself that tomorrow will be the day everything changes.

In this episode, I explain why this happens and why it has far less to do with willpower than you may think.

I’ll help you understand how your nervous system becomes attached to familiar patterns, even painful ones, because familiarity feels safe. I also explore why eating disorder behaviours are rarely just about food. More often, they serve a deeper purpose — creating safety, control, certainty, protection, or identity.

Most importantly, I introduce one of the most powerful concepts in recovery:

This is the moment after you do something brave — perhaps eating more, resting, challenging a rule, or allowing discomfort — when anxiety rises and the urge to “fix” everything becomes intense.

That is the moment where the loop either continues… or begins to break.

Recovery doesn’t require perfection.

It asks for something much simpler — and much harder.

To stay with discomfort for just a little longer than you normally would.

That is where change begins.

• Why eating disorder recovery can feel like living the same day on repeat
• How the brain and nervous system become attached to familiar suffering
• Why compensatory behaviours can feel temporarily relieving
• The hidden purpose behind repetitive recovery patterns
• Why the eating disorder loop often protects you from deeper fears
• How to identify your personal reset moment
• Why courage is only needed for the next step, not the entire journey
• How small interruptions create lasting change

If you keep asking yourself:

• Why do I keep ending up back here?
• Why do I keep undoing my progress?
• Why can’t I stay committed to recovery?

I want you to know something important.

You are seeing a pattern.

And patterns can change.

Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, I teach a deeper workshop called Groundhog Day, where we map out your personal recovery loop, uncover what is driving it, and begin interrupting the cycle with real support.

Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, you’ll find:

• 24/7 community support
• The Feelings Navigator
• Recovery courses including the Fear of Weight Gain Course
• Monthly live Q&As and coaching support
• Practical tools to help prevent relapse and move beyond quasi-recovery

Join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle here:
The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle

Explore the Feelings Navigator here:
Feelings Navigator

If this episode resonated, please follow the podcast and leave a review.

One different choice in one difficult moment can begin changing everything.

Recovery can feel deeply uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and at times utterly terrifying. But what if that discomfort is not proof that you are doing recovery wrong… but evidence that your brain and nervous system are learning something new?

In this Q&A episode of Fly to Freedom, I answer real questions from members inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle about some of the hardest and most honest parts of eating disorder recovery.

Together, we explore what happens when recovery feels wrong, why fear of weight gain goes far beyond appearance, how trauma can shape restriction and people-pleasing patterns, and what it really takes to keep choosing recovery when everything inside you wants to run back to what feels familiar.

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I talk about:

✨ How to keep choosing recovery when the unfamiliar feels terrifying
✨ Fear of weight gain, body changes, and the sensory experience of living in a changing body
✨ Autism, sensory processing, clothing struggles, and feeling physically uncomfortable in recovery
✨ Trauma, emotional abuse, people-pleasing, and why boundaries can feel so difficult
✨ Binge eating, extreme hunger, refeeding, and understanding the difference between biology and pathology
✨ Compensating behaviours, exercise, food rules, and how recovery rewires the brain
✨ Why community and nervous system safety matter so deeply in eating disorder recovery

One of the questions explores something I do not think we talk about enough in anorexia recovery and eating disorder recovery: the felt experience of weight gain. Not mirrors. Not scales. The physical sensation of inhabiting a body that feels different — clothes touching differently, movement feeling unfamiliar, heightened body awareness, and the intense sensory experience that can come with body changes, especially for autistic people.

I also answer a powerful question about childhood trauma, emotional responsibility, caregiving, and restriction — and why recovery sometimes involves grieving the love, safety, or acceptance that was never fully received.

We also explore one of the most misunderstood parts of eating disorder recovery: binge eating, extreme hunger, and what happens when a previously undernourished body finally begins asking for what it genuinely needs. I unpack the difference between biological refeeding responses and binge eating disorder, and why context matters so much when understanding hunger in recovery.

And I share parts of my own recovery journey too, including how I challenged compensating behaviours, stopped compulsive exercise, responded to intense hunger, and allowed my body to repair after years of deprivation.

If you are struggling with fear of weight gain, compensating, uncertainty, body discomfort, trauma, binge eating fears, or simply trying to stay committed when recovery feels terrifying, I hope this episode helps you feel seen, understood, and less alone.

I am Julia Trehane, specialist anorexia recovery coach, and after fully recovering from decades of anorexia, orthorexia, and exercise addiction, I now help others navigate the emotions beneath an eating disorder to create lasting freedom. If you would like to find out more about me and my work, please visit https://www.juliatrehane.com/

If you would like more support, deeper conversations like these, live coaching, workshops, courses, and a compassionate community of people who truly understand what recovery is like, you are very welcome inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle.

Join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle here:
https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join

If you would like more instant support, for free, I recommend my new app - The Eating Disorder Recovery Companion. Click for more info on that.

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m joined by Charlie for a really honest and important conversation about healing our relationship with exercise, stepping away from diet culture, and learning how to reconnect with ourselves in midlife and eating disorder recovery.

Charlie is a body positive fitness coach and menopause specialist, and from the moment I met her at my gym, I knew there was something very different about her approach to movement and wellbeing.

One sentence she said to me completely stopped me in my tracks:

“You don’t need to push yourself to your limits anymore. You are allowed to take the easier option.”

It sounds simple, but honestly, I nearly cried hearing it.

After years of compulsive exercise and believing movement had to involve punishment, exhaustion, or “earning” food, it completely changed how I viewed exercise and what a healthy relationship with movement could actually look like.

Together, Charlie and I talk about:

• Reclaiming exercise after an eating disorder
• Compulsive movement and exercise addiction
• Why movement should feel empowering, not punishing
• Healing body image and self-worth
• The pressure women face to constantly perform
• Diet culture and “good girl” conditioning
• Midlife identity shifts and rediscovering yourself
• Perimenopause, hormones and emotional wellbeing
• Why self-care and nourishment matter so much
• Learning to listen to your body instead of fighting it
• Boundaries around comments about weight and appearance
• Finding joy, playfulness and freedom again

We also talk openly about the reality of midlife as women — the exhaustion, the pressure to hold everything together, and the liberating moment where you realise you are allowed to stop performing and finally become yourself.

This conversation felt deeply personal to me because so much of my eating disorder recovery involved rebuilding my relationship with movement and learning that exercise does not have to come from self-hatred.

It can come from joy.
It can come from empowerment.
It can come from care.

And honestly, that changes everything.

About Charlie

Charlie is a Menopause Coaching Specialist with 12 years in the fitness and wellbeing industry. Qualified in Personal Training, Life Coaching and NLP, she brings a wealth of knowledge on midlife women and a strong understanding of not just the physical but also the emotional and mental challenges of peri/menopause.

You can find Charlie and learn more here:

Menopause Better App

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The ED Recovery Companion App

I’m also incredibly excited to share the ED Recovery Companion app with you.

We created this app to support you in the moments recovery feels hardest — not just when you’re listening to a podcast or in a therapy session, but in real life, while you’re actually living recovery.

Inside the app you’ll find:

• Meal support
• Journaling tools
• Recovery guidance
• Coping support
• An AI version of me you can talk to throughout your day using the same approach I use in my coaching

It’s designed to help you feel supported, understood and gently guided back towards recovery when things feel difficult.

The app is completely free to download and I would absolutely love to welcome you inside.

Download the app here:

ED Recovery Companion App

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If this episode resonated with you, I’d love to welcome you inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, where you’ll find support, understanding, recovery tools, courses, workshops and a community of people who truly understand what eating disorder recovery is like.

You can learn more here:

The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle

You are never alone in this.

Eating Disorder Recovery Q&A: Body Image, Exercise Addiction, Night Hunger, Shame, and Control

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m answering real, unfiltered questions from people navigating eating disorder recovery.

These aren’t polished situations or neatly packaged problems. They are the honest, often overwhelming experiences that come up when you are in the middle of recovery—when thoughts feel loud, your body feels unfamiliar, and control still feels necessary.

In this episode, I talk through what it actually looks like to keep moving forward when things feel chaotic, and why recovery doesn’t require you to feel ready, calm, or certain before you take action.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between wanting recovery and feeling pulled back by fear, this episode will meet you exactly where you are.

• How to respond when thoughts like “I don’t deserve” and “there’s something wrong with me” feel overwhelming
• Why eating disorder thoughts can intensify during recovery—and what to do when they do
• How I approached compulsive exercise and why stepping away from it matters
• What’s really happening when body image feels unbearable, even looking at your own face
• Why restriction can start showing up in other areas of life beyond food
• Understanding night hunger in anorexia recovery and why it often continues
• How to navigate shame around taking time off work for an eating disorder
• Why the need for control increases when you feel uncertain—and how to begin responding differently
• How being undernourished affects your ability to process therapy and hold onto insights
• How to approach food choices when everything feels confusing and overwhelming

Recovery is not about waiting for the thoughts to quieten or the fear to disappear.

It’s about learning to take the next step while the thoughts are still there.
It’s about choosing nourishment, rest, and support even when your mind is telling you not to.

That is how change happens.

If you’re listening to this and recognising your own thoughts, your own patterns, your own struggles—you are not alone in this.

So much of what feels deeply personal in an eating disorder is actually shared.

And when those thoughts are spoken out loud, something begins to shift.

If you’re finding that the hardest moments are the ones in between—when thoughts feel loud, decisions feel overwhelming, or you’re not sure what to do next—there is now a way to support yourself in those exact moments.

Support When You Need It Most – The Recovery Companion App

Recovery doesn’t happen in neat, controlled environments.

It happens in real life.

It happens when you wake up and your thoughts begin to form.
It happens before a meal, when everything in you wants to avoid it.
It happens after eating, when your head gets loud and the pull to go backwards kicks in.
It happens in those moments where you feel unsure or stuck.

And that’s where the Recovery Companion comes in.

This is a free app designed to support you in the moments that matter most, not just when you’re listening, but when you’re actually living your recovery.

Inside the app, you’ll find:

• A Morning Journal to start your day with intention
• Support Now, giving you in-the-moment guidance
• Meal Support to walk alongside you before, during, and after eating
• An Evening Reflection to help you process your day

Running quietly in the background is something powerful:

A clear view of where your actions are pointing.

You’ll see the balance between Recovery Actions and Eating Disorder Actions, based on what you actually do, not how loud your thoughts feel.

Because recovery isn’t about waiting for the thoughts to disappear.

It’s about gently shifting your actions, again and again.

The Recovery Companion is currently free to download, and it’s there to support you through the everyday work of recovery.

👉 Explore the app here:
https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/app-landing

In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I’m joined by Laura—one of my former clients and a member of The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle. She’s also a doctor working in emergency medicine, and her story highlights something I see time and time again:

Eating disorders do not discriminate.

You can be intelligent, successful, capable, and still feel completely trapped in the patterns of an eating disorder.

From the outside, Laura’s life looked like it was working. She had a career, she was showing up, she was getting on with things. But inside, it was a completely different story—constant mental noise, exhaustion, and the relentless feeling of not being good enough.

If you’ve ever thought, “I’m still managing my life, so maybe it’s not that bad,” this episode will speak to you.

We talk openly about what was really going on beneath the surface, why focusing on food alone isn’t enough for full eating disorder recovery, and what actually needs to shift for real freedom to happen.

Laura shares her experience of going through traditional treatment, weight restoration, and still feeling lost—and how everything changed when she began doing the deeper inner work.

This conversation is honest, grounded, and full of hope.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why eating disorders can affect anyone, regardless of how life looks on the outside
• The common myths about anorexia and eating disorder recovery
• Why eating is not the full solution to recovery

• How perfectionism, people pleasing, and self-worth are often at the root
• What happens when treatment focuses on weight but misses the deeper work
• Why body changes feel so difficult—and how acceptance grows over time
• The role of self-compassion and inner work in lasting recovery
• What actually helped Laura move forward when she felt stuck
• Why full recovery from an eating disorder is possible

As a specialist anorexia recovery coach within the eating disorder recovery space, this episode reflects something I feel very strongly about:

Recovery is not just about changing behaviours—it’s about changing your relationship with yourself.

Join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle:
If you’re ready to stop doing this on your own and want support from people who truly understand eating disorder recovery, you are very welcome inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle:
https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join

Inside, you’ll find real support, coaching, and a community who understand both the behaviours and the deeper emotional work that recovery asks of you.

If this episode of Fly To Freedom resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear that full recovery is possible.

What This Episode Covers

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m answering real questions from members inside the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle.

These are the questions people are living with right now in eating disorder recovery — the ones that don’t always get said out loud, but are felt deeply by so many.

We talk about guilt after eating, fear of weight gain, extreme hunger, habits that feel impossible to break, and the question so many people carry quietly:

Is full recovery actually possible?

If you’ve ever felt stuck between wanting recovery and fearing what it means…
If your thoughts feel repetitive, exhausting, or confusing…
If part of you longs for freedom but another part still clings to control…

This episode is for you.

One of the most powerful things about these Q&A episodes is the reminder that you are not alone in what you’re experiencing.

The thoughts.

The doubts.
The fear.
The moments of progress followed by wobbles.

These are not signs that recovery isn’t working. They are part of the process of healing from an eating disorder.

And when one person asks a question, there are so many others quietly thinking:

“That’s exactly how I feel.”

In this episode, I walk through some of the most common and challenging experiences in eating disorder recovery, including:

• Why guilt and discomfort can hit after a “good” weekend of eating and how to keep moving forward
• The fear that letting go of control will lead to uncontrollable weight gain
• How emotional stress and family dynamics can trigger eating disorder behaviours
• Why previously “safe” foods can suddenly become frightening
• How to navigate extreme hunger without feeling overwhelmed
• Breaking the habit of weighing yourself every day
• Moving beyond long-term quasi-recovery into full recovery
• Managing constipation in recovery without slipping into old patterns
• Whether full recovery from an eating disorder is truly possible

You don’t need to feel calm, confident, or certain to keep moving forward.
Recovery is built in the moments where you choose to act in alignment with healing, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Thoughts can feel true simply because they’ve been repeated for years.
Recovery begins when you gently question those patterns, rather than automatically believing them.

Whether it’s extreme hunger, weight changes, or digestive issues — your body is responding, repairing, and trying to find balance.

The belief that control is protecting you is incredibly common.
In reality, it often keeps the body and mind stuck in a state of threat.

Not managing. Not coping. Not constantly watching yourself.

Full freedom.

You don’t have to have everything figured out.

You don’t have to feel 100% ready.

You don’t have to silence every thought before you move forward.

You just need to keep taking the next step.

If you’re listening to this and thinking,
“I wish I had somewhere to ask my own questions…”

That’s exactly why I created the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle.

Inside, you’ll find:

• Live Q&A sessions like this
• Group coaching and support
• The Feelings Navigator (to help you understand and move through emotions like guilt, fear, and overwhelm)
• Courses and workshops on every stage of recovery
• A community of people who truly understand what recovery feels like

This is a space where you don’t have to do this alone.

You can explore everything here:
https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join

Recovery can feel messy, confusing, and uncertain at times.

And it can also lead to something far greater than you might currently believe is possible.

Keep going.
Keep choosing yourself.
Keep taking the next step.

Freedom is possible.

What happens when recovery advice sounds beautiful… but doesn’t actually work for your body?

In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I’m joined by Rachael Stern — a clinician with both professional expertise and lived experience of an eating disorder — to explore something that so many people quietly struggle with:

Recovery is not the same for every body.

Sometimes the body doesn’t feel neutral.
Sometimes there is chronic pain, diabetes, food intolerances, gut issues, hormonal shifts, migraines, or autoimmune conditions.

And when that’s the case, phrases like “just trust your body” or “let go of control” can feel confusing… and even unsafe.

Together, we talk about what eating disorder recovery really looks like when your body has genuine physical needs — and how to navigate recovery in a way that is compassionate, realistic, and deeply personal.

This is a conversation for anyone who has ever felt like they are failing recovery because their body doesn’t fit the expected model.

Why “just trust your body” can feel unsafe in eating disorder recoveryThe overlap between eating disorders, chronic illness, neurodivergence, and traumaHow food intolerances, autoimmune conditions, and medical needs can shape recoveryThe difference between self-care and eating disorder behaviours when food choices are limited

Why intuitive eating doesn’t work for everyone — and what recovery can look like insteadThe grief involved when your body has limitationsWhy eating disorders can feel like they “work” — and how to move beyond thatHow to approach recovery when you don’t fully want it yetWhat it means to build trust with your body, even when it feels unpredictable

Your body having real needs does not mean you are doing recovery wrong.

Recovery is not a single path.
It is not a checklist.
And it does not need to look like anyone else’s.

You are allowed to find a way of recovering that works for your body.

Rachael Stern is a clinician in private practice with both lived and professional experience of eating disorders.

Her work focuses on the intersection of eating disorder recovery with chronic illness, chronic pain, neurodivergence, and medical complexity. She brings a deeply compassionate and realistic perspective to recovery — one that honours the grey areas, the nuance, and the individuality of each person’s experience.

🌐 Website: www.breaktheframetherapy.com📧 Email: info@breaktheframetherapy.com📱 Phone: 310-383-1090📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breaktheframetherapy

If this episode resonated with you, I want you to take this with you:

Recovery is still possible, even in a complex body.

It may look different.
It may feel different.
But it is still available to you.

And you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, you’ll find support, tools, and understanding from people who truly get what this process feels like — especially in the messy, in-between moments.

You are very welcome inside:
https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join

If this conversation spoke to you, there are many more episodes of Fly To Freedom exploring eating disorder recovery, healing, and finding your way back to yourself.

This Is Why Recovery Feels So Hard

Recovery can feel exhausting.

You’re eating more.
You’re trying.
You’re pushing through fear.

And still your heart races at the table.
Still your body feels flooded.
Still your mind questions whether you’re doing it “right”.

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I talk openly about why eating disorder recovery and anorexia recovery can feel overwhelming — even when you are deeply committed.

Because recovery is not just behavioural change.

It is nervous system change.

When my body had lived in chronic stress and restriction for years, it adapted. Control felt stabilising. Smaller felt safer. Needing less felt predictable. Those patterns wired themselves in beneath conscious thought.

So when I began to nourish consistently…
When I allowed rest…
When I loosened control…

My system reacted.

The panic.
The adrenaline.
The wired exhaustion.

It felt like I was under attack.

I now understand that what I was experiencing was recalibration.

In this episode, I explore:

• What early recovery actually felt like in my body
• Why hunger cues can disappear in anorexia recovery
• How survival chemistry fuels anxiety and racing thoughts
• Why comparison keeps the nervous system braced
• The difference between forcing recovery and creating safety
• What truly shifts when healing becomes relational rather than performative

Recovery can look steady on the outside and still feel chaotic internally. The turning point for me came when I stopped measuring myself and started asking a different question:

Am I building safety?

That question changed everything.

For me, eating disorder recovery became less about conquering fear and more about staying with myself.

Each time I ate consistently, even when hunger felt unclear, I was teaching my body that nourishment was safe.
Each time I rested, even when it felt undeserved, I was teaching my nervous system that stillness would not undo me.
Each time fear rose and I stayed present, I was building capacity.

Anorexia recovery is physical, yes.
It is also neurological.
It is relational.

It is a return to safety in your own body.

That return happens through repetition.
Through steadiness.
Through compassion that is strong enough to hold discomfort.

There were moments in my recovery where fear was louder than motivation.

That is why your WHY matters.

When you are clear on why you want recovery more than the eating disorder, you move differently. Your actions become intentional rather than reactive.

If you want help clarifying that anchor for yourself, I created a free worksheet to guide you through it:

👉 Find Your WHY
https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/find-your-why

Clarity strengthens commitment. And commitment builds sustainable eating disorder recovery.

I created The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle as a structured, grounded space for full recovery — rooted in nervous system safety rather than comparison or performance.

Inside, I support eating disorder recovery and anorexia recovery through:

• Structured recovery courses, including Fear of Weight Gain
• The Feelings Navigator for emotional regulation
• Expert workshops from people with lived experience
• Dedicated community spaces
• Ongoing support between therapy sessions

It exists to complement clinical care and provide consistent, recovery-focused support in the in-between moments.

You can explore The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle here:
👉 https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join

For daily insights into eating disorder recovery, anorexia recovery, nervous system healing, and identity work, you can connect with me on Instagram:

👉 https://www.instagram.com/juliatrehane

What I Share in This EpisodeRecovery Is a Return to SelfFind Your WHY: The Anchor in RecoveryThe Eating Disorder Recovery CircleConnect With Me