Series 2, Episode 5 – “There was a dog pissing up against our tent, hold me Ianto.”

We’re back for the next in our Hit or Miss: Doctor Who Cyber Season, and we're heading to 2000s Cardiff and into our first Whoniverse spin-off review. Yes, we're tackling the infamous “Cyberwoman” from Torchwood — the episode that asks, “What if body horror… but make it awkward?” Host Michael is joined by returning favourites: Pasty Sheep maestro and semi-pro Matt Berry impressionist George White, plus Who mega-fan, voice actor and self-declared No.1 fan (with heavy sarcasm) of Chris Chibnall, Cliff Chapman. We kick off with a big-picture Torchwood chat — the highs, the lows, the why did they think that was a good idea? — plus favourite Cybermen stories from across all Doctor Who media. Then it’s time for “Hit or Miss,” where quick critiques fly at another Who spin-off, a Cyber sidekick, a controversial modern Doctor and a Third Doctor romp. And then… the main event. If you’ve ever accused Mike of being too generous — or too quick to defend Chibnall — this may shock you. What starts as critique slides rapidly into venting, then mutates into something resembling group therapy. We break down the episode’s wasted potential, the rare moments that shine, and a genuinely strong performance from Gareth David-Lloyd… but there’s no escaping the frustrations. From infamous costuming choices to clunky “adult” dialogue, muddled character motivations, dated direction, sloppy scripting and an astonishingly misguided climax — nothing is spared. We round out with critic and audience reactions (apologies to the fans), pick out our favourite scraps of goodness (we try), and deliver final scores. Could this be the lowest rating we’ve ever given? Don’t slather yourself in barbecue sauce and fight a pterodactyl. Tune in and find out. If you dare.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode's main review contains strong language, adult themes, and discussions of horror and sexuality. Like Torchwood, it is not intended for children. Listener discretion advised.

Links:

Cliff:

• facebook.com/cliff.chapman

• cliffchapman.bsky.social

• https://ko-fi.com/clif...​

George:

• instagram.com/georgewhite96

• instagram.com/pastysheep

• linktr.ee/pastysheep

Follow Mike and the podcasts all over the internet via linktr.ee/mikespods

Follow Mike on Discord: MikeOfSteel#2913

Hosted and written by Michael Wilson

Editor/Producer - Michael K. Wilson

Created by Michael K. Wilson

Based on a format by Will Templar

“Show some fucking mercy!”