In this episode, Sarah shares how the death of her 20-year-old goldfish Joe triggered a full codependency relapse as she obsessed over whether his tank mate Jeff was lonely. Finn and Sarah dive into how we project our own unprocessed feelings onto others including our pets and create suffering where none exists.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Codependency involves obsessive thinking about others similar to how addiction involves obsessive thinking about substances

• We often project our own unmet emotional needs onto others including pets and make up stories about what they need

• The question to ask yourself when you start obsessing is what am I feeling right now and what story am I making up

• Our codependent behaviors usually start with our own unprocessed emotions not the other person's actual needs

• Projection can happen with anyone in our lives from romantic partners to children to pets

NOTABLE QUOTE

"The thing why codependency is awful is it doesn't work for either person. All it does is affect the relationship and it kills us. We go down the tubes with them." — Dr. Sarah Michaud

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