141. Healing Trauma Isn’t About Calming Down
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141. Healing Trauma Isn’t About Calming Down
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In this episode, I’m taking a do-over.
Over the last few years on Mayhem, I’ve talked so much about trauma, nervous systems, hypervigilance, emotional regulation, and healing after narcissistic abuse and childhood trauma. But the more I’ve learned from daughters, from the Mayhem Daughters community, and from our first in-person retreat, the more I’ve realized I want to simplify how I think about healing and what actually helps people heal.
In this conversation, I’m sharing how my understanding of trauma healing has evolved and why I no longer believe healing happens entirely through insight or isolation.
We talk about:
Nervous systems and childhood trauma
People pleasing, hypervigilance, and self abandonment
Why “just calm down” doesn’t work for daughters
Connection, community, and relational healing
Secure attachment and why shows like Shrinking resonate so deeply
The mother wound and allowing safe people to love you well
Why healing happens inside of relationships, not outside of them
This episode is for daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers who are trying to understand themselves, feel safer in their bodies, and experience healing in a more connected, human way.
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