Episodes

  • How to Build Confidence (When You Don't Feel Confident Yet) [273]

    How to Build Confidence (When You Don't Feel Confident Yet) [273]
    Jul 1 2026
    Are you not feeling confident and curious how to increase confidence in yourself? If so, know that you are not alone, you are not suffering from imposter syndrome, and you are not in need of fixing. As we start our series on Confidence, we'll work to dismantle the most common — and most damaging — myth about confidence: that confidence is just a feeling and that you need to be confident before you act. We'll focus on a confidence reframe: Confidence is a willingness to act and a trust in your own effort, not a feeling of certainty or how others perceive you. We'll lean on Dr. Russ Harris's foundational insight throughout our work: the actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later. The episode also does important myth-busting work around self-worth, self-esteem, and self-efficacy — three concepts we tend to mash together with confidence, often to our detriment. We'll make the case for unconditional self-acceptance over the self-esteem-building culture many of us grew up in, and approach confidence with a fresh and more empowering lens. This episode will set us up for some confidence-building work that is far more nourishing than the usual methods we've been taught. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Sources and Notes for our Element of Confidence: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes about imposter phenomenon: Imposter Syndrome is a Myth [ep. 175] What Imposter Syndrome Really Is [ep. 276] Book: The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris, PhDBook: Confidence Culture by Shani Orgad, PhD & Rosalind Gill, PhD Bandura. Self-efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change. Access here. Baumeister et al. Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles? Access here. Donnelly et al. Do people know how others view them? Two approaches for identifying the accuracy of metaperceptions. Access here. Hayes et al. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as a Unified Model of Behavior Change. Access here.More about Victor Frankl's work from VFIA. Full transcipt here Common Questions: Q: Why don't I feel confident even when I know I'm capable of something? A: Because confidence isn't just a feeling and it's not just about self-efficacy or your belief in your capabilities. This episode explains the neuroscience behind why waiting for the feeling often means waiting forever, and offers a more empowering definition to work with instead. Q: What's the difference between confidence, self-esteem, self-efficacy, and self-worth? A: This episode untangles all four: self-worth is your sense of inherent value, self-esteem is a more fragile self-evaluation based on comparison and performance, and self-efficacy is your belief in your ability to do a specific task. Confidence (redefined here as trust and willingness to act) can draw on all three, but is its own concept and understanding the differences can be genuinely freeing. Key moments: [00:00] Welcome to the new Element of Confidence — and the central premise: you don't need to feel confident to practice it [02:00] The cost of waiting for a feeling that wasn't coming — staying small, timid, paralyzed [03:30] The neuroscience: the amygdala looks for certainty before giving the green light to act [05:00] The common (and limiting) definition of confidence: a feeling, tied to certainty and how others perceive us [05:30] How imposter syndrome suffers from the same definitional hijacking [06:00] The reframe: confidence from Latin "com" (with) + "fidere" (trust) — to trust with [06:30] A behavioral definition: trust in your effort and a willingness to act — not a feeling [07:00] Dr. Russ Harris, The Confidence Gap: "The actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later." [08:00] The swimming example: you don't feel confident first — you flail, then build confidence through repeated action [10:30] Fear is not the enemy and not the opposite of confidence — you need your threat detection system [11:00] How a feelings-only model of confidence puts 100% of the blame on the individual [11:30] Systemic and community barriers to confidence: healthcare disparities, pay gaps, and their real impact [12:30] Why "just feel more confident" is where toxic positivity lives — and why it doesn't address real barriers [13:00] ...
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    27 mins
  • From Rumination and Defending to Right-Sizing: Recapping the Science & Tips to Build Humility for Mental Health & Wellbeing [272]

    From Rumination and Defending to Right-Sizing: Recapping the Science & Tips to Build Humility for Mental Health & Wellbeing [272]
    Jun 24 2026
    Humility is one of the most quietly powerful practices for positive psychology and mental health. It's also one of the most misunderstood. Here's the heart of it: humility is not a weakness. It's not about making yourself small or performing modesty for social approval. It's an accurate, grounded sense of self, what Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren calls "right-sizing." You own your strengths and weaknesses. And you hold your worth steady through all of it. We explored four types of humility this month: relational, intellectual, cultural, and existential. And we worked through three core ingredients to build humility up: Know Yourself. This is where self-compassion becomes essential. Self-knowledge without self-compassion tends to slide into rumination — that harsh, looping self-focus that keeps us stuck. Dr. Kristin Neff's research reminds us that genuine self-reflection requires feeling safe enough to look clearly, without bracing for an attack. When self-compassion is in place, honest self-awareness becomes possible. So does recognizing things like the better-than-average effect, which is our tendency to unconsciously and inaccurately position ourselves as a little more right, and others a little more wrong. Humility gently corrects that drift. Check Yourself. This is ego territory. When we feel threatened, the ego rises up. We deflect, deny, shut down, intellectualize. It's a very human, very normal response. But it doesn't have to run the show. One of the most practical tools from this series: when you feel defensive, pause. Breathe. Then ask yourself, "What would I think if I weren't feeling defensive?" That question can create some space for the ego to stand down and lets emotional regulation take over instead of reactivity. Go Beyond Yourself. This is where the magic of humility really shows itself as we build a genuine curiosity about other people and life's bigger questions. The self-forgetfulness that C.S. Lewis describes as essential to humility puts it all into action. When we're not so consumed by ourselves, the world opens up. And that's where connection, meaning, and joy actually show up in more noticeable, lasting ways. If you've worked through this series and feel less certain than when you started, that's not a problem. That's the practice of humility in action. Sitting with uncertainty, tolerating what's unresolved, resisting the cultural pressure toward easy answers and performed confidence is peak courage. It's often uncomfortable and it's always worth it. If this work has stirred something that feels bigger than you want to carry alone, please reach out to a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support community. Seeking support isn't weakness. It's an act of humility and one of the most courageous things you can do. And for Joy Lab Program members: your Episode Experiment includes a guided meditation and journal prompts to help you harvest and integrate the work you've done this month. We close with Rilke (we know, we close with Rilke a lot!): "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves." Keep tending to your humility. It grows good things. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Check Yourself: Ego Threat, Stress Relief, & Needing to Prove Yourself [270] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhDTara Brach's websiteFind more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.orgMore on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation. Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here.Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here.Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here.Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here. Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here.Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here.Wendell Berry's book ...
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    9 mins
  • Going Beyond Yourself: How Humility Fights Loneliness, Builds Connection, & Protects Mental Health [271]

    Going Beyond Yourself: How Humility Fights Loneliness, Builds Connection, & Protects Mental Health [271]
    Jun 17 2026
    Humility is a powerful mental health tool we have. The science of happiness is clear: genuine connection and belonging are among the strongest predictors of emotional resilience and wellbeing. In this episode of Joy Lab we'll explore the final dimension of humility: going beyond yourself. Building on Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework from Humble, we'll explore how knowing yourself and checking your ego aren't the finish line. That's prep work so you can show up for others with open eyes and an open heart. Whether you've been lonely, stuck in defensive loops, or just tired of running into yourself everywhere you turn, this episode offers a warm, science-grounded roadmap toward deeper connection. This is Episode 4 of Joy Lab's Element of Humility series, following Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework: know yourself, check yourself, and go beyond yourself. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Full transcript Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Check Yourself: Ego Threat, Stress Relief, & Needing to Prove Yourself [270] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhDTara Brach's websiteFind more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.orgMore on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation. Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here.Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here.Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here.Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here. Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here.Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here.Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words Key moments: [00:00] Welcome & orientation — Aimee frames the three-part humility arc (Know Yourself → Check Yourself → Go Beyond Yourself) [01:30] Henry's realization: humility, like every Joy Lab Element, is ultimately about learning to love well and connect more deeply [03:00] Why humility is the antidote to loneliness — the difference between being surrounded by people and being genuinely seen; how isolation is really a form of alienation [05:00] What it feels like to be with a truly humble person — and why humility makes us safer, more trustworthy, and more magnetic in relationships and communities [06:30] The traffic circle of defensiveness — Aimee on why the risk of being burned by someone is still better than a lifetime of self-protective looping [07:30] Epistemic humility explained — the idea that your understanding of reality is always partial, always filtered, always a vantage point. And so is everyone else's. (Plus: a pronunciation debate.) [08:45] Why disagreement doesn't mean someone is wrong, and how truth is larger than any one person's grasp of it [10:30] William James on the deepest craving in human nature: to be appreciated and seen [11:00] Two practical strategies for going beyond yourself: (1) deep, active listening as a humility practice — not formulating your response, but truly receiving another person; (2) seeing the innocence of others [12:30] Thich Nhat Hanh: "Listen until they empty their hearts." Henry shares this as a guide for showing up and listening [13:30] Seeing the innocence in others — Henry's 30+ years of clinical wisdom distilled: most people are doing the best they can with what they have, right now. How holding that awareness softens judgment without eliminating boundaries [15:30] Aimee reflects: "That's the wisdom I'd want somebody to hold when they see me messing up." [16:00] Experiment preview for Joy Lab Program members + closing Rumi quote: "You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop." Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials: Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice ...
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    17 mins
  • Check Yourself: Ego Threat, Stress Relief, & Needing to Prove Yourself [270]

    Check Yourself: Ego Threat, Stress Relief, & Needing to Prove Yourself [270]
    Jun 10 2026
    Humility and mental health are more connected than you might think. And if you add self-compassion to the humility-ego mix, then you have a recipe that can support mood, offer stress relief, and give your mind and body a break from constantly trying to defend yourself. We'll dig into all this with the "Check Yourself" step of the humility framework, unpacking ego threat, defensive thinking patterns, and the very human stress response that kicks in when we feel criticized, wrong, or uncertain. Spoiler: the ego is not the villain here. It's more like an overzealous bodyguard, and humility is how you can teach it to stand down. This is Episode 3 of Joy Lab's Element of Humility series, following Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework: know yourself, check yourself, and go beyond yourself. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials: Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhDTara Brach's websiteFind more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.orgMore on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation. Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here.Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here.Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here.Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here. Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here.Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here.Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words Key moments: [00:00] Welcome and episode framing — checking ourselves means we accept that we don't know it all, recognize our own cultural lenses, and can sit with uncertainty without losing ourselves. [02:00] Henry on accepting uncertainty as a form of letting go of control — and why the self-knowledge work from last episode makes this possible. True inner strength means being secure enough to admit when you're wrong and hold your ground when you need to. [04:00] Enter: the ego. Aimee makes the case that the ego isn't the root of all evil. A healthy ego helps us maintain a coherent, positive sense of self. The problem isn't the ego itself; it's when the ego runs the whole show, making every decision from a place of fear. [06:30] Ego threat explained — when criticism, mistakes, or uncertainty shake our sense of self, a stress response activates. This triggers cognitive distortions: black-and-white thinking, confirmation-seeking, and rigid beliefs. It's common, it's wired in, and it doesn't have to take us down. [08:30] Henry's bodyguard metaphor: the ego is a zealous protector that sometimes overreacts wildly — treating a questioned idea like a life-or-death threat. Humility doesn't fire the bodyguard. It just teaches it to relax. [11:00] Signs the bodyguard has overstepped. Aimee walks through the obvious ones (counterattacking, deflecting, blame-shifting) and the subtler ones (shutting down, overexplaining, people-pleasing, doubling down on beliefs to avoid uncertainty). If you're nodding, you're in good company. [13:00] Henry adds the physical signs of ego threat to watch for: chest tightness, heat rising, clenched jaw, shallow breathing. Your body knows you're in ego threat before your mind does. Also: the urgency to respond immediately, spinning narratives to justify reactions, needing the last word. [15:00] The good news — and the real mental health payoff. Admitting mistakes makes us more liked and respected. Humility builds psychological safety in relationships, keeps small harms from becoming earthquakes, reduces thought distortions, and separates self-worth from performance. It's a genuine resilience-booster. [17:00] Henry's three-step in-the-moment practice: pause (especially when it feels most urgent), take one slow breath (gives your brain a chance to come back online), and ask "What would I think about this if I weren't feeling defensive?" Shift ...
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    22 mins
  • Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [269]

    Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [269]
    Jun 3 2026
    Humility is a powerful (and mostly misunderstood) mental health skill that's grounded by self-knowledge and self-compassion. Humility is also a powerful antidote to rumination and harsh self-criticism and a tool to support mood and emotional resilience. We'll build up humility through this series by taking a positive psychology approach along with Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework to build humility (know yourself, check yourself, go beyond yourself.) This episode is all about Step 1 (know yourself) and it turns out it's both the most uncomfortable and the most freeing place to start. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials: Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhDFind more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.orgMore on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation. Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here.Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here.Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here.Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here. Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here.Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here.Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words Key moments: [00:00] Why self-knowledge comes first in the humility framework — and why skipping it makes the rest of the work harder. [02:00] The humility paradox: who scores highest on self-reported humility? People with narcissistic traits. What this reveals about why self-knowledge matters. [04:30] Reflection vs. rumination: same self-focused action, completely different energy — and very different effects on anxiety and depression. [07:30] Clark Griswold on the roundabout: Aimee's perfect visual for rumination, plus Van Tongeren's concept of "right-sizing yourself." [09:30] Obstacle #1: The idealized self. When the gap between who you are and who you think you should be stops motivating and starts deflating. [12:00] Obstacle #2: The better-than-average effect. Most of us rank ourselves above average — and that's statistically impossible. How this positivity bias quietly inflates us. [14:30] Obstacle #3: The harsh inner critic disguised as self-awareness. Why beating yourself up isn't humility — it's ego turned inward. [17:00] Dr. Kristin Neff's insight: self-compassion is the foundation of honest self-awareness. You can look clearly when you're not afraid of what you'll find. [19:30] Rumination as an internal courtroom — and Aimee's personal story about chronic lateness, hard feedback from a friend, and what it took to actually receive it. [23:30] Henry's simple journaling practice: notice what you observed about yourself this week. No analysis, no judgment — just patterns, held gently. [25:30] Preview of next week's "Check Yourself" episode, and a closing note from Aristotle. Full transcript here Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.
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    27 mins
  • Humility Can Be Stressful... And Worth it for Mental Health [268]

    Humility Can Be Stressful... And Worth it for Mental Health [268]
    Jun 1 2026
    Humility is not a weakness or a sign you're a pushover, instead it's a mental health tool that just might be exactly what our loneliness epidemic and anxiety culture are desperately craving. Humility is an accurate, grounded sense of who you are. And that grounded sense of self is a foundation for confidence, deeper connection, and holistic mental health. Here's what we'll explore this episode: There are four research-backed types of humility to focus on: Relational humility — how you hold yourself in relation to others; not above, not belowIntellectual humility — holding beliefs with openness; curiosity over certaintyCultural humility — recognizing the limits of your own cultural lens and genuinely welcoming differencesExistential humility — making peace with uncertainty, impermanence, and the big unanswerable questions of human life You might be doing great in one area and struggling in another (that's normal). These types aren't perfectly clean categories, but they offer areas for self-reflection and focus as you work to boost your humility and emotional wellbeing throughout the month. With these areas in mind, we'll use researcher Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework to build humility through three core ingredients: Know Yourself — honest self-awareness of strengths and limits, without self-preoccupationCheck Yourself — reducing defensiveness and the need to protect your egoGo Beyond Yourself — cultivating empathy and humility as a deep relational practice These three ingredients aren't just a nice framework for self improvement, they're a pathway to reducing loneliness, increasing connection, and building the kind of holistic healing and joy that Joy Lab is all about. If you're in the Joy Lab Program, your first Experiment will help you locate yourself within these four types and start the work. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials: Instagram Linkedin Watch on YouTube Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation. Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhDHagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here.Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here.Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here.Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here. Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here.Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here.Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words Key moments: [00:00:00] Welcome + intro to Joy Lab's Element of Humility — solo episode with Dr. Aimee Prasek [00:00:30] Clearing up the bad takes: what humility is not — not weakness, not martyrdom, not dismissing your talents [00:01:00] The social science of humility: why we're drawn to humble people from mid-adolescence on, and why it primes us for connection [00:02:00] Humility as antidote to certainty culture and self-destructive perfectionism; the formal definition unpacked [00:02:45] C.S. Lewis on humility as self-forgetfulness — and the powerful paradox it reveals about hyper self-focus [00:03:30] The reframed Lewis quote: "Humility is not thinking less of yourself — it's thinking of yourself less often" [00:04:15] Introducing the four research-backed types of humility: relational, intellectual, cultural, and existential [00:05:00] Deep dive into intellectual, cultural, and existential humility — leaning into curiosity over certainty [00:06:00] Why humility is harder than other Elements — and why it's worth it anyway [00:07:00] The obstacles: certainty culture, fear of being wrong, pressure to perform vs. just be [00:08:00] Ego protection, the stress response, and why humility can feel like a physical threat to the nervous system [00:08:45] Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's three ingredients for building humility: Know Yourself → Check Yourself → Go Beyond Yourself [00:09:45] Humility as medicine for the loneliness epidemic, anxiety, and depression — why culture is craving this right now [00:10:30] What's coming next: knowing ourselves, plus your first Joy Lab Program Experiment [00:11:00] Closing poem: The Real Work by...
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    12 mins
  • You Can't Do Life Alone: Deep Connection is a Key to True Resilience [267]

    You Can't Do Life Alone: Deep Connection is a Key to True Resilience [267]
    May 27 2026
    Spoiler: you were never meant to do this alone. In the final episode of Joy Lab's Resilience series, Dr. Aimee Prasek and Dr. Henry Emmons explore the most powerful — and most underrated — ingredient in lasting resilience: deep, meaningful connection. They unpack the neuroscience of belonging, the illusion of separation that quietly wrecks our wellbeing, and two surprisingly accessible practices: shared-joy and moral elevation. These practices can open us to greater connection right now, no personality overhaul required. The takeaway from this episode is that deep connection isn't a bonus feature of a resilient life. It's the foundation. And the good news? You're already wired for it. Try It Free 🎉 The Joy Lab Program is free for 30 days — offer ends May 31st. Head to JoyLab.coach/program to sign up. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials: Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube Full transcript here Sources and Notes for our Element of Resilience: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.Joy Lab Episodes referenced: Our latest Resilience episodes: Cultivating a Good Heart: The Resilience Shortcut That Beats The Latest 'Morning Routine' TikTok (ep. 266) The Art & Science (+ Shoveling) of Letting Emotions Move Through You (ep. 265) How to Calm the Mind & Not Feed the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) (ep. 264) From Surviving to Thriving: The Science and Soul of Resilience (ep. 263) Our Grief series starts here: The Grief Series: The Wholeness of Being Human Chemistry of Calm (Dr. Emmons' book referenced in this series)The Neuroscience of Human Relationships by Louis Cozolino, PhD Dr. Cozolino's website A General Theory of Love by Dr. Thomas LewisJohn O'Donohue's legacy site Dr. Catherine Panter-Brick- Yale faculty pageResilience definitions, theory, and challenges: interdisciplinary perspectivesAnnual Research Review: Positive adjustment to adversity -Trajectories of minimal-impact resilience and emergent resilienceAdaptive growth of tree root systems in response to wind action and site conditions. Brain meta-state transitions demarcate thoughts across task contexts exposing the mental noise of trait neuroticism. Effects of a 12-week endurance training program on the physiological response to psychosocial stress in men: a randomized controlled trial No man is an island: social resources, stress and mental health at mid-life How does the brain deal with cumulative stress? A review with focus on developmental stress, HPA axis function and hippocampal structure in humans Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind (this is the study of people shocking themselves out of boredom)Emotion Suppression and Mortality Risk Over a 12-Year Follow-up Cumulative Stress and Health Ordinary Magic, Resilience in Development Summary of the Project Competence Longitudinal Study The Times of Our Lives: Interaction Among Different Biological Periodicities Key moments: [0:00] Welcome & Episode Framing Henry and Aimee open the final episode of the Resilience series: creating deep connections. Quote from neuroscientist Dr. Louis Cozolino on why relationships are our "natural habitat" — and why isolation isn't just lonely, it's physiologically dangerous. [1:00] We Are Not Built for Solo Resilience Aimee challenges the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" myth, calling it as toxic as toxic positivity. [2:00] Henry's Three Pillars of Mental Wellbeing Henry shares his framework: sleep, self-acceptance, and connection — with deep, meaningful connection as arguably the most powerful of the three for sustaining both resilience and joy. [3:00] Connection in the Broadest Sense Henry expands what "connection" means beyond just relationships — encompassing meaning and purpose, connecting with your own inner self, and a sense of the transcendent. All of these require staying open, even when it's hard. [5:00] John O'Donohue Quote + Introducing the Illusion of Separation Quote from John O'Donohue: "Our bodies know they belong; it is our minds that make our lives so homeless." This illusion is framed as one of the greatest enemies of joy. [6:00] Henry Unpacks ...
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    20 mins
  • The Resilience Shortcut That Beats Any Morning TikTok Routine [266]

    The Resilience Shortcut That Beats Any Morning TikTok Routine [266]
    May 20 2026
    We're in our Element of Resilience and we're going somewhere most mental health conversations completely skip: the heart. Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek unpack why mental health has been so brain-centric for so long, what the field of neurocardiology is revealing about the heart's role in how we feel, think, and connect, and why ancient healing traditions were frankly ahead of the curve on all of this. Then they walk through three practical, research-backed heart-centered practices to support your mental health: self-acceptance, loving-kindness, and compassion. Henry also shares a simple, portable exercise called The Three Kindnesses that you can do anywhere, anytime. Whether you've been with us throughout this series or this is your first episode, this one is a great entry point into what Joy Lab is really about. Try It Free 🎉 The Joy Lab Program is free for 30 days — offer ends May 31st. Head to JoyLab.coach/program to sign up. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials: Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube Sources and Notes for our Element of Resilience: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.Joy Lab Episodes referenced: Last episode: From Surviving to Thriving: The Science and Soul of Resilience (ep. 263) Chemistry of Calm (Dr. Emmons' book referenced in this series)Dr. Catherine Panter-Brick- Yale faculty pageResilience definitions, theory, and challenges: interdisciplinary perspectivesAnnual Research Review: Positive adjustment to adversity -Trajectories of minimal-impact resilience and emergent resilienceAdaptive growth of tree root systems in response to wind action and site conditions. Brain meta-state transitions demarcate thoughts across task contexts exposing the mental noise of trait neuroticism. Effects of a 12-week endurance training program on the physiological response to psychosocial stress in men: a randomized controlled trial No man is an island: social resources, stress and mental health at mid-life How does the brain deal with cumulative stress? A review with focus on developmental stress, HPA axis function and hippocampal structure in humans Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind (this is the study of people shocking themselves out of boredom)Emotion Suppression and Mortality Risk Over a 12-Year Follow-up Cumulative Stress and Health Ordinary Magic, Resilience in Development Summary of the Project Competence Longitudinal Study The Times of Our Lives: Interaction Among Different Biological Periodicities Full transcript here Key moments: [00:00:00] — Welcome back; introducing the focus: cultivating a good heart as part of resilience training [00:01:00] — Why mental health gets stuck in the brain and why that's a problem; the science is pointing somewhere bigger [00:02:00] — Henry's early inspiration from Jon Kabat-Zinn; the "larger container" and "water cooler" metaphors for resilience. Keeping your resilience reservoir full; why self-care alone isn't always enough. [00:05:00] — "Easy and natural" — what cultivating a good heart actually looks like in practice [00:06:00] — Aimee's viral morning routine breakdown: biohacking, ice baths, and 14-step routines vs. what actually moves the needle [00:08:00] — The heart-first theory of sensory processing; introducing the science of neurocardiology. The heart's complex neural network (the "heart-brain"); the heart produces hormones AND neurotransmitters including oxytocin [00:10:00] — Vagal nerves and the parasympathetic nervous system: the heart tells the brain what to do in this case, more than the other way around [00:12:00] — The mind-heart-gut connection; what creates blockages (grief, trauma, isolation) — and how to release them. Why we can't think our way out of depression or anxiety; working with the whole system. [00:14:00] — Introducing three heart-centered practices from Henry's work: self-acceptance, loving-kindness, and compassion [00:15:00] — Deep dive on self-acceptance: a continuous, all-day practice for releasing self-judgment. Loving-Kindness meditation: why this might be the single most powerful self-care ...
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    27 mins