Lachlan Stuart on the isolation of infertility and feeling ready for fatherhood

In this episode, we chat with Lachlan Stuart, an endurance athlete (who’s run 58 marathons in 58 days) and a high-performance coach (who helps men build mental resilience). Lachlan and his wife, Amy Sheppard, just welcomed their first child, Frederick, after years of navigating unexplained infertility. In the weeks before their baby's arrival, we spoke to Lachlan about finding out they were pregnant over the phone, feeling worried about not connecting with the baby pre-birth and what he's learned from the dads he's worked with.

Key takeaways:

• Lachlan spent years getting his life "sorted" before trying for a baby and figuring out whether he felt "ready" to be a dad
• Three years of trying to conceive — with no clear cause of infertility — was mentally exhausting, especially watching his partner Amy’s heart break each month
• IVF was confronting and isolating, and he struggled with not being able fix the problem, while Amy carried the physical load
• He hasn't felt an instant emotional connection to the baby during pregnancy — and learned that for many men, bonding comes after birth, not before
• Preparing to become a dad has taught him that showing up, listening and making time matter more than having everything figured out

More resources:

You can follow Lachlan on Instagram and tune into his podcast — The Man That Can — here.

Got questions or feedback?

Email us at podcasts@healthymale.org.au. We love getting your voice notes.

The end bits:

This podcast was created by Healthy Male — an Australian not-for-profit that provides evidence-based information on men's health. You can find more from us on Instagram, TikTok and our website.

We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the lands on which this podcast was recorded — the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation, and the Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung people of the Kulin Nation. We pay our respects to Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples listening today.

This podcast is intended for general informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis, treatment and personalised medical guidance.