This week on “Love Island,” the love triangles started percolating – and those who aren’t in love triangles clearly got a firm nudge to start making some more villa geometry happen. Bryce randomly decided to pull his best friend’s girl, which gave everyone a hearty laugh. Zach keeps feebly insisting that he wants to stay open for a hypothetical bombshell he likes better than Kayda, while Kayda is ready to fluid bond. Aniya and KC enter a death spiral of miscommunication. Melanie actually does everything everyone has asked her to do – give Sincere space, explore other connections honestly and respectfully, regulate her emotions – and Kenzie still feels personally victimized by her existence. After all, Melanie’s existence is making it marginally harder for her to monopolize the attention of both men she likes! Plus, we learn the perils of outsourcing a generation of brains to ChatGPT. No one can write and no one can make scrambled eggs!!!!

Three farmers, six women, and one enormous tractor: In the last two episodes of “Farmer Wants a Wife,” it’s time to find out who is destined for a future together. We get into the final two episodes of season 4, where our three farmers meet their final two contenders’ families and/or besties, and then ask one of them to… continue figuring out if they maybe want to move across the country and join the farm life. We also reveal which of these couples are still together and how the relationships seem to be faring after seven months of secrecy!

We’re officially into week 2 of “Love Island USA,” which means that we have six full episodes to discuss! We get to know six bombshells, learn about the nuances of Gen Z “loverboy” culture, define “attributes,” and explore one of the greatest romance tropes of all time: Only One Bed. In this week’s recap we get into everything from the toxic dynamic that has bubbled up between Sincere and Melanie, to why Zach says he’s closed off and then immediately backtracks, to the slow burn appeal of Trinity and Bryce. And we close with America’s first opportunity to vote on the fates of our fair Islanders.

Season 8 of “Love Island USA” is here at last. And as Ariana Madix put it: “We’re so back.” She’s right. Summer is back, we’re back, and the beauty of watching sex idiots find love in a villa in Fiji is also back. Life is good. We’re watching hotties in bikinis swap spit, explain astrology (badly), and cut up apples (even more badly). And before episode 1 has even ended… the bombshells have entered the villa.

Before we dive headfirst into the new season of Love Island USA, we knew we needed to catch up on some reality news and gossip. First, we go through all of the updates on the “Perfect Match” season 4 couples, and consider who might be doing couple-baiting purely for PR purposes. Then we get into some “Love Island USA” casting news – including one Islander who has already been kicked out of the villa – and dive into some updates about West and Amanda from “Summer House” and Yvonne Najor from “In The City.”

Netflix has “Perfect Match” on a shorter and shorter leash, from 12 episodes in season 1 all the way down to just 8 this season – and boy, can you tell. In this rushed finale, we squeeze in one last challenge and boardroom, the shakiest couples patch it back up enough to limp to the final vote, and some mild tea about sneaky Spotify chats is spilled. The wildest part of the season doesn’t even happen until filming has already wrapped – and you know Nice Guy™ Chris and his Santa’s workshop of designer handbags has something to do with it.

Episodes 6 and 7 of “Perfect Match” dropped this week, leaving us with just the finale for next week – just as the show is finally starting to pick up steam. Putting the abysmal pacing aside, the drama is heating up as Demari and Marissa’s diametrically opposed communication styles threaten to tear apart their increasingly miserable relationship, one Jimmy does a better job locking it down than the other, and the singles make increasingly audacious plays for a spot in the house. A bait-and-switch kissing challenge brings it all together.