Smut's in your pants? This week we're weighing the pro's and con's of punching your own dick while exploring the wide and expansive world of fantasy genitalia. First, Taylor dives deep into caves unknown with Sabrina Cross's, "Sentient Pen15 From Outer Space." Then Don mixes and matches with Katee Robert's "The Succubus's Prize."

Life is Sweeter Than Candy and this week we're overly caffeinated and trying not to think about what's in the whipped cream. Don gets things cooking with author J. De Saint's, "The Perfect Ingredient." Then Taylor get a bit of a sugar rush and grows something other than wings with Kaysie Reads', "My Energy Drink Sparks My Kitty."

Happy Pride! This week We're Here, We're Queer, and We're Horny. Be careful not to glue your boobs to the table when Taylor starts us off with Emma Elizabeth's sweet and sapphic, "T!ts Out Slits Out." Then Don celebrates cryptids, the post office, and efficient bisexual threesomes with Chuck Tingle's, "Bisexual Mothman Mailman Makes a Special Delivery in Our Butts."

This week we're sliding on sheets and considering the tensile strength of your average hat, because it's once again time for Dealer's Choice. First, Don gets a green thumb with Fannie Tucker's, "Garden Gnome Sex Party." Then Taylor discovers a conspiracy and possibly a new literary classic with, "I Banged A Vampire And He Didn't Sparkle Like The Bitches In Twilight," by Raven Blackbird.

Taylor and Don are here to rectify your situation, because it's been 15 years since the international smash hit "50 Shades of Grey" by E.L. James taught a bunch of horny moms sort of what BDSM is. In this very special episode, listen to us yell forever about such thrilling topics as: email, Wikipedia, and weak tea. But don't worry, the contract apparently doesn't matter. Expect some genuine aftercare, and please don't blame us for not liking this moderately horny mess. We promise we tried, Don got two migraines.

Computer? I hardly know her! We don't know what this company does but oh boy are we surrounded by horny technology! First, Taylor returns to the fascinating mind of Leonard Delaney with, The Office Photocopier Wants to Have Sex With Me. Then Don accepts a little customer assistance in, Scanned and Stuffed: Taken by the Horny Self-Checkout Machine by Skye MacKinnon and Philomena MacKinnon.

(TW Gore and body horror from 13:46-15:30)

We've written ourselves into your ears this week with 'Freakier than Fan-Fiction!' Don delivers a research and rant-driven dive into the history and fascinating current of fan-fiction as an art form. Then Taylor launches into a wholesome, bisexual reimagining of everyone's favorite study group with GreendaleHumanBeing's, You Run My Mind, Boy. Finally, Don considers breakfast food representative relations with Nevski's, Like They Do on the Discovery Channel.

It's time for Dealer's Choice again, and we're sucking on chocolate eggs and asking the age old question, 'If a pair of pants wore pants, how would they wear the pants?' First, Don dresses down with My Date with a Pair of Gray Sweatpants by Dakota Cockaday as Cassi O. Peia. Then, Taylor wishes for a bit of sugar with Bethanie Loren's, Eggcellent.