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In today's Ask Steph episode, we're talking about how to balance accepting your partner for who they are, while also encouraging them to grow. This is a delicate dance for many of us, and can reveal our own patterns of wanting to fix and save people. We'll talk about where the healthy middle lies between acceptance and change, and how you can create a relational environment that supports growth.

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• Free resources for attachment healing
• Take my attachment styles quiz

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In today's episode, we're diving deep into the fearful avoidant (or disorganised) attachment style. We're talking about where it originates, and what some of the core belief systems are that drive fearful avoidant patterns.

Make sure you're following or subscribed to the show to catch Part 2 next week, where we explore how the fearful avoidant attachment style shows up in relationships.

Links

• Check out my free attachment healing resources
• Take my attachment quiz

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What's the difference between reasonable, healthy privacy and unhealthy secret-keeping? That's the question I'm answering in today's Ask Steph episode. We're diving into the difference between privacy and secrecy, as well as on how this interfaces with the anxious need for information and the avoidant need for autonomy.

Resources

Free resources for anxious attachment

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In today's episode, we're diving deep into perfectionism — and how it can sneak into our relationship dynamics in unhelpful ways. We'll talk about how perfectionism shows up for anxiously attached people, how that differs from folks with avoidant patterns, and what it looks like to release the grip of perfectionism and find greater compassion and acceptance — for ourselves, our partners, and our relationships.

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Free resources for anxious attachment

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How do you find self-compassion when everything is falling to pieces? That's the listener question I'm answering in today's Ask Steph episode. We'll talk about why self-compassion can be so hard to access when we're in a challenging season, the mistaken belief that self-compassion removes accountability, and how we can start to cultivate more kindness and self-validation when we need it most.

Resources

Free resources for healing anxious attachment

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In this episode, I’m sharing how I personally approach nervous system regulation in a way that feels simple, realistic, and actually sustainable, rather than overwhelming myself with endless tools and protocols. We talk about focusing on the foundations — like sleep, nourishment, movement, and creating a supportive home environment — while also being mindful of what we don’t do, like overscheduling or saying yes from pressure.

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Free resources for anxious attachment

Understanding Your Avoidant Partner: New Course

Many people find themselves trying to decode confusing or inconsistent behaviour, wondering whether it reflects avoidant attachment or a lack of interest — but in early dating, a lack of clarity is often the clearest signal in itself. The more meaningful question is why we stay engaged in dynamics that leave us feeling uncertain, rather than stepping back and asking whether this meets our needs.

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In today’s episode, I’m walking you through how to navigate the first 30 days after a breakup in a way that is supportive, grounded, and deeply healing.

This initial period can feel overwhelming — full of grief, anxiety, confusion, and emotional swings. And while it’s natural to be in survival mode, there are small but powerful ways you can support yourself through this time rather than getting swept up in the chaos.

I share a practical roadmap for what to focus on (and what to avoid), so you can move through this chapter with more intention, self-respect, and care.

We cover:

• Why the early days after a breakup can feel so destabilising
• The two common nervous system responses: anxiety and shutdown
• How to create a supportive, calming environment for yourself
• The importance of maintaining basic self-care and routines
• Why boundaries (especially no contact) are so important
• The impact of screen time, social media, and rumination
• How to approach this period with intention rather than survival mode
• Beginning the process of reconnecting with yourself

✨ Free break-up training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up