Remember Cristina Yang turning to Meredith, right as she was leaving the show for good, telling her not to let what someone else wants eclipse what she needs. He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun. You are.

We forget that. There is even a term for it: role engulfment. We get so caught up in the doing for everyone else that our own self, and our own financial life, fades into the background, and it costs us. One day you are comforting a friend who has just been through a brutal divorce, the lights go on, and you think, this could be me.

This episode is about taking the wheel. If you have been carrying the worry without ever holding the wheel, this one is for you. Phoebe walks through why so many capable, high-earning women end up financially invisible in their own lives, why that gap is exactly where women get hurt, and the five things you can do this week, on one page, at your kitchen table, to put yourself back in the centre of your own financial universe. You are not the moon orbiting everyone else's money. You are the sun.

Australia is moving through its largest ever transfer of wealth between generations, estimated at around $3.5 trillion (some research puts it closer to $5 trillion), with roughly 65% of it expected to land with women. Family money tends to flow to the eldest daughter. It can arrive through divorce. It can arrive through the death of a partner. The women who get hurt are not the careless ones. They are the ones who never knew where the money was. This episode gets you ready to hold it.

1. Your money map. How to work out your net worth in one sitting, and why you cannot run a universe you have never looked at.
2. What is yours. The difference between money in your name and money in joint names, and why every financially adult woman needs her own account.
3. Your protection documents. A current will, a binding death benefit nomination on your super, and an enduring power of attorney, and why your super does not follow your will.
4. Your safety buffer. The runway money in your own name that means you are never trapped in a situation you want to leave.
5. Your dashboard. The handful of money concepts that let you ask a good question and recognise a bad answer, without becoming a financial planner.

Plus: who belongs in your financial universe, how to choose advisers you trust instead of inheriting ones you do not, and why talking to your friends about money is one of the most powerful financial moves you can make.