Episodes

  • Jyoti Chand: @Mamajotes on How Quitting Alcohol Changed Everything

    Jyoti Chand: @Mamajotes on How Quitting Alcohol Changed Everything
    May 27 2026
    Trigger warning: This episode contains open discussion of a suicide attempt, alcohol dependence, self-harm, and sexual assault. Please take care of yourself, if you choose to listen. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. You are not alone. Jyoti Chand grew up the youngest child and only girl in a Punjabi immigrant family in West Covina, California, in the middle of a 95% Mexican neighborhood, in a gang-infiltrated area, in a household where her dad ironed her clothes, did the laundry, cooked the food, and showed up to every parent-teacher conference while her mom worked nights. She was spoiled with love. She was the class clown with a binder of printed jokes. She was the smart one, the good girl, the straight-A kid who also snuck out to Bong Fest, talked back to everyone, and graduated high school at 16. She was also someone who had no idea that alcohol was quietly shaping her entire story. In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Jyoti Chand, known to hundreds of thousands as Mama Jotes, a mom, a content creator, founder of Jyotes by Jyoti Chand, author of the graphic novel Fitting Indian, and one of the most genuinely funny and disarmingly honest voices on the internet. What starts as a warm, hilarious conversation about growing up first-generation in LA becomes something much more honest. A story about dual identity, undiagnosed ADHD, inherited anxiety and depression, a suicide attempt at 18 that her university tried to quietly erase, abusive relationships she didn't think she deserved better than, and the slow realization that the substance she thought was just fun was actually the main character in a story she desperately wanted to rewrite. And then she stopped drinking. And everything changed. 00:00 Cold Open and Retakes 00:54 Mom Life Small Talk 01:49 Name Origin and Fireworks 04:14 Growing Up West Covina 07:18 Assimilating and Blending In 11:57 Home Life and Superdad 16:17 Sibling Chaos and Teen Rebellion 22:10 Comedy as Survival 28:09 High School Anxiety and Coping 33:00 Family Mental Health Patterns 35:37 Modeling Coping Skills 36:20 Breaking Generational Cycles 37:27 Growing Up Too Fast 38:24 College Freedom Party Life 43:17 When Drinking Feeds Anxiety 45:00 Alcohol and Parenting Boundaries 47:18 Good Girl Bad Girl Split 52:51 Breakup Depression Spiral 56:40 Hospital Hold and Dorm Fallout 59:35 Therapy Break the Cycle 01:07:30 Writing as Healing Path 01:11:39 Self Worth and Relationships 01:12:41 Choosing Love Through Discomfort 01:15:01 Brunch Meltdown and the Ring 01:18:13 Reparative Love and Co Regulation 01:23:31 Alcohol After Marriage and Motherhood 01:27:20 Moderation Fails and Pandemic Spiral 01:28:23 Dry January and Quit Like a Woman 01:35:19 Sobriety Fuels Creativity and Growth 01:43:02 Self Esteem and Resilience Muscle 01:48:06 Who I Am Now and Closing About Our Guest: Jyoti Chand, known online as Mama Jotes, is a content creator, author, and advocate for first-generation Americans navigating identity, mental health, and sobriety. Her graphic novel Fitting Indian follows a 16-year-old first-generation American girl navigating mental health struggles, dual identity, and the pressure to belong everywhere and nowhere at once. She lives in the Midwest with her husband, a child psychiatrist who is not allowed to "psychiatrize" her, and their three kids. Connect with Jyoti:https://www.instagram.com/mamajotes/https://www.amazon.com/Fitting-Indian-Jyoti-Chand/ Connect with Sense of Self: Subscribe for more episodes like this: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sense-of-self/id1742905024 Follow the Sense of Self Podcast: http://instagram.com/senseofself.podcast Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam: Instagram: http://instagram.com/drgowriaragam Website: https://www.drgowriaragam.com/ Edited by: Briana Mittan Produced by: Gowri Aragam and Briana Mittan A note on ethics, process, and safety: The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self
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    1 hr and 11 mins
  • Pooja Bavishi: The Malai Ice Cream Founder on the Belonging she Built, One Flavor at a Time

    Pooja Bavishi: The Malai Ice Cream Founder on the Belonging she Built, One Flavor at a Time
    May 13 2026

    Pooja Bavishi grew up knowing exactly who she was at home. Gujarati Jain, deeply proud of her heritage, fluent in the language of her culture and her family. But the moment her family moved from an inclusive tight-knit community in Pennsylvania to Charlotte, North Carolina, something shifted. The world around her didn't accept her fully, and for years she couldn't fully explain why.

    In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Pooja Bavishi, founder of Malai, a Brooklyn-based ice cream company that has become one of the most beloved and culturally significant food brands in the country. What starts as a conversation about ice cream quickly becomes something much deeper. A story about belonging, about the cost of feeling othered, about the defense mechanisms we build to protect ourselves, and about what happens when you stop waiting for a community that feels like home and decide to build one yourself.

    One flavor at a time.

    Connect with Pooja Bavishi:
    https://www.instagram.com/pooja_bavishi_/
    https://www.malai.co/
    https://www.instagram.com/malai_icecream/

    Connect with Sense of Self:
    Subscribe for more episodes like this: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sense-of-self/id1742905024
    Follow the Sense of Self Podcast: http://instagram.com/senseofself.podcast

    Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam:
    Instagram: http://instagram.com/drgowriaragam
    Website: https://www.drgowriaragam.com/

    00:10 Meet Pooja of Malai
    02:40 The Meaning of Puja
    10:55 Belonging in Pennsylvania
    16:37 Culture Shock in Charlotte
    33:38 Sisterhood and fairness
    35:12 Craving Indian community
    37:41 Intimidated by desi peers
    41:29 Malai as identity unlock
    52:03 Founder lows and letting go

    A note on ethics, process, and safety:

    • The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
    • Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

    Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 7 mins
  • KJ Miler: Mented Cosmetics Founder on Depression, Near-Bankruptcy and Embracing her whole self

    KJ Miler: Mented Cosmetics Founder on Depression, Near-Bankruptcy and Embracing her whole self
    Apr 29 2026

    KJ is the nickname she chose, the armor she built, the stage she never stopped standing on. But behind the confidence and the cultural commentary and the perfectly matched lipstick is Kristen: the middle child who felt like the ugly duckling, the founder who nearly didn't make it out, the mother whose daughter became her reason to keep going.

    In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Kristen Jones Miller, better known as KJ, co-founder of Mented Cosmetics, host of the Queen Things podcast, content creator, professor, and soon-to-be author, for the conversation behind the brand.

    What unfolds is a story about identity built layer by layer: from a girl in Columbus who learned to be funny because she had to, to an HBS grad who walked into entrepreneurship knowing the odds and doing it anyway, to a founder who spent a year watching her company deteriorate in real time while quietly, privately, almost silently falling apart. And about what it looks like to sell the thing you built from your own wounds, and somehow find your way back to loving it again.

    This one is equal parts hilarious, devastating, and deeply alive.

    Meet KJ!
    Kristen Jones Miller, known as KJ, is the co-founder of Mented Cosmetics, a beauty brand celebrating the beauty of darker skin tones, which she co-founded in 2017 out of Harvard Business School. She is the creator and host of the Queen Things podcast, a content creator, a professor at Ohio State University, and a soon-to-be author. She lives in Ohio with her husband K'idar, and their daughter Kayla.

    Connect with KJ:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kjmiller/
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iam_kjmiller
    Queen Things Podcast: https://tr.ee/I0h4kIx-e1
    Mented Cosmetics: https://www.mentedcosmetics.com/

    Connect with Sense of Self:
    Subscribe for more episodes like this: AppleSense of Self
    Follow the Sense of Self Podcast:instagram.com/senseofself.podcast
    www.senseofselfpod.com

    Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam:
    Instagram: instagram.com/drgowriaragam
    Website: Drgowriaragam.com

    00:00 Chasing What Lights You Up
    00:33 Meet KJ and the Show
    03:26 Origins of the Name KJ
    04:14 Middle Child Roots
    07:11 Privilege and Expectations
    10:55 Idyllic Columbus Bubble
    12:21 Skin Tone and Humor
    15:14 KJ as Armor
    18:37 Meeting Her Husband
    21:02 College to Business School
    23:37 Entrepreneurship North Star
    28:52 Building Mented Beauty
    33:01 Founder Foundation Talk
    33:51 Oprah Favorite Things High
    35:22 Maternity Leave Cash Crunch
    36:56 Highs Lows Reality Check
    39:08 Postpartum Depression Signs
    40:07 Zoloft Decision Relief
    43:08 Losing Optimism Signal
    47:09 Reunion Breakdown 2023
    49:39 Con Artist Deal Spiral
    50:35 Board Ultimatum Hail Mary
    52:37 Vulnerability Survival Mode
    56:27 Relief After Sale
    57:59 Content Creator Era
    01:00:10 Multihyphenate Identity
    01:02:30 Parenting Passion First
    01:03:54 Final Thanks Subscribe

    This episode includes discussion of postpartum depression and suicidal ideation, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you find yourself experiencing difficult emotions, please consider pausing the episode, returning at another time, and reaching out to a trusted person or a professional.

    Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self.

    This episode was edited by Brie Mittan
    This episode was produced by Dr. Gowri Aragam and Brie Mittan

    A note on ethics, process, and safety:

    • The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
    • Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

    Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 4 mins
  • Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa- The Chapter That Shattered Her

    Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa- The Chapter That Shattered Her
    Apr 15 2026

    Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa walked into plastic surgery residency as one of the most confident women she knew. The eldest daughter of Indian immigrant feminists, a person who had never once questioned her own capability. And then the system got to work.

    In this episode of Sense of Self, Dr. Gowri Aragam sits down with Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa, double board-certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon, microsurgeon, founder and CEO of the Institute for Advanced Breast Reconstruction, founder of Avara Skincare, and one of the most compelling voices in medicine today with over 600,000 Instagram followers, for the conversation behind the highlight reel.

    What unfolds is a story about what happens when the identity you've spent a lifetime building gets systematically dismantled by the very institution you sacrificed everything to join. A story about clinical depression that had nothing to do with postpartum and everything to do with a toxic culture designed to break people. And about what it looks like to walk away from the prestige, the title, the academic institution, and build something entirely your own.

    This one will stay with you.

    Meet Dr. Srinivasa!
    Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa is a double board-certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon and microsurgeon based in Los Angeles. She is the founder and CEO of the Institute for Advanced Breast Reconstruction, with locations across LA and Austin, Texas, and the founder of Avara Skincare, a line hand-formulated with a private chemist for women at every stage of life. She is a mother of three and a growing voice on social media with over 600,000 Instagram followers.

    Connect with Dhivya:
    Instagram:
    https://www.instagram.com/drdhivyasrinivasa/
    Institute for Advanced Breast Reconstruction:
    https://www.theiabr.com/
    Inside Thoughts Out Loud: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/inside-thoughts-out-loud/id1879385691

    Connect with Sense of Self:
    Subscribe for more episodes like this: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sense-of-self/id1742905024
    Follow the Sense of Self Podcast:
    https://www.instagram.com/senseofself.podcast/

    Connect with Dr. Gowri Aragam:
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drgowriaragam/
    Website: https://www.drgowriaragam.com/

    00:00 Identity Shattered Teaser
    00:16 Meet Dr Dhivya
    02:45 Roots and Family Names
    04:06 SoCal Upbringing Values
    06:00 Confidence Built at Home
    09:59 Eldest Daughter Energy
    11:13 High Expectations No Anxiety
    14:59 Bullying and Armor
    17:11 Money Mindset and Drive
    19:22 Parenting in a New Era
    22:42 Residency Broke the Confidence
    29:04 Toxic Labels in Plastic Surgery
    30:53 Toxic Residency Spiral
    32:36 Fresh Start at UCSF
    35:02 Therapy and Reframing Reality
    38:49 Drug Test Breaking Point
    44:00 Anxiety and Burnout Fallout
    46:38 Quitting to Protect Yourself
    48:46 Rebuilding Confidence
    51:15 Choosing Yourself Like Cancer
    54:57 Life as Surgeon Entrepreneur
    57:59 Why People Stay Stuck
    59:05 Identity and Closing Thoughts

    A note on ethics, process, and safety:

    • The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
    • Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

    Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self
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    1 hr
  • I Spent My Childhood Shapeshifting to Be Loved with Janis Vogel

    I Spent My Childhood Shapeshifting to Be Loved with Janis Vogel
    Jul 2 2025

    "I was completely externally focused. Who likes me? Who is accepting me? Who's giving me attention? I did theater. I was on stages. I was very externally focused." - Janis Vogel

    Growing up mixed-race on Martha's Vineyard, filmmaker and coach Janis Vogel became a master of reinvention - transforming herself from skater to "homie" to clueless wannabe, all in pursuit of acceptance. But it wasn't until becoming a mother that she realized the cost of living as a canvas instead of a soul.

    This raw conversation explores the exhausting work of shapeshifting for love and the profound liberation that comes from choosing authenticity.

    🎯 What You'll Learn:

    • The hidden cost of people-pleasing and perfectionism
    • How childhood abandonment shapes adult relationships
    • Why being a "good mother" requires being yourself first
    • The difference between seeming okay and actually being okay
    • How to break cycles without breaking your family

    ⚠️ Perfect for: People-pleasers, parents questioning their choices, anyone tired of performing

    🎬 About Our Guest: Janis Vogel is a filmmaker, divorce coach, and mother who helps people navigate relationship transitions with authenticity and grace.

    Connect with Janis!
    instagram.com/janisvogel

    A note on ethics, process, and safety:

    • The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare.
    • Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past.

    Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self
    Show More Show Less
    45 mins
  • Breaking 20 Years of Silence: Why I Finally Told My Story with Francisca Alegría

    Breaking 20 Years of Silence: Why I Finally Told My Story with Francisca Alegría
    Jun 25 2025
    Trigger Warning: The following episode contains discussion of sexual abuse. For 20 years, Chilean filmmaker Francisca Alegría carried a secret that shaped every relationship, every creative choice, and every moment of self-doubt. The sexual abuse she experienced at age six became a "dark well" that she thought would define her forever. Today, she's an internationally recognized filmmaker, soon-to-be-married, and finally free from the shame that once consumed her. This is her story of breaking the silence and reclaiming her narrative. 📚 Essential Insights: - Why staying silent often feels safer than speaking up - How childhood trauma manifests in adult relationships - The unexpected connection between pain and creativity - Practical steps for healing from sexual abuse - How to support survivors in your life 🎬 About Our Guest: Francisca Alegría is a Chilean filmmaker whose work has been recognized at Sundance Labs. Her journey from trauma survivor to acclaimed storyteller proves that our wounds don't have to define our worth. Connect with Francisca! instagram.com/franciscalegria/ A note on ethics, process, and safety: - The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare. - Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past. Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self
    Show More Show Less
    49 mins
  • From Being Bullied to Being Mayor: How Politics Became My Therapy with Sumbul Siddiqui

    From Being Bullied to Being Mayor: How Politics Became My Therapy with Sumbul Siddiqui
    Jun 18 2025
    Sometimes the hardest job becomes your greatest teacher. Sumbul Siddiqui never expected that becoming Cambridge's first Muslim mayor would force her to confront the bullied child she once was - or that leading through COVID would become the ultimate confidence-building experience. In this raw conversation, she reveals how public service became an unexpected form of therapy, teaching her to trust herself even when the world seemed to be watching and waiting for her to fail. 📚 Essential Insights: - How childhood bullying shapes adult leadership styles - The connection between public service and personal healing - Why representation matters for both communities and individuals - Practical tools for building confidence in high-pressure situations - The role of therapy in maintaining perspective during public attacks 🎓 About Our Guest: Sumbul Siddiqui served as mayor of Cambridge, Massachusetts, and continues to advocate for inclusive leadership and mental health awareness in public service. Connect with Sumbul! instagram.com/councillorsiddiqui/ A note on ethics, process, and safety: - The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare. - Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past. Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self
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    38 mins
  • From Family Translator to Food Empire: Hetal Vasavada's Independence Journey

    From Family Translator to Food Empire: Hetal Vasavada's Independence Journey
    Jun 11 2025
    Discover Hetal’s powerful journey of self-discovery, identity, and resilience in this episode of "Sense of Self." Growing up in a large immigrant family in Bloomfield, New Jersey, Hetal navigated the complexities of cultural differences, love languages expressed through food, and the challenges of forming friendships in a predominantly white environment. Join hosts Gowri and Hetal as they delve into: The impact of family dynamics and community on shaping identity The humor and heartache of integrating cultures Hetal’s experiences with ADHD and academic pressure Her transition from college to the food industry and the world of food blogging The importance of self-advocacy, independence, and emotional well-being Lessons learned from parenting and building a career in social media From childhood memories to finding her voice in the culinary arts, Hetal’s story is a testament to the power of children of immigrants and the impact of embracing one’s authentic self. Subscribe and join the conversation about community, identity, and personal growth—especially for women of color seeking their own sense of self A note on ethics, process, and safety: - The individuals in this podcast have graciously shared their stories and it's important to note that while these discussions are enriching and enlightening, they are not a substitute for therapy or mental healthcare. - Please note that each guest has given their consent to participate, had full control over what aspects of their journey were shared, and either currently engages in therapy or coaching, or has done so in the past. Thanks from all of us at Sense of Self
    Show More Show Less
    46 mins