Nobody told me that leaving was only the beginning.

I thought I'd be sad for a few weeks and then feel free. At one month, I was in complete panic mode. At six months, I completely shut down — wouldn't answer the phone, wouldn't answer a text, kept telling everyone I was fine when I wasn't.

And I kept asking myself: why am I still not okay?

Because leaving doesn't start the healing. It just stops the bleeding.

In this episode I walk through what actually happens in the months after you leave — the panic, the shutdown, the moment the dots finally connected and everything changed.

What To Expect When You Leave is available on Amazon and at SheRisesFromAshes.com

Steady Fire with M. Martin is available on Spotify and YouTube.

I was six years old when I first told the truth about a narcissist. And I spent the next 50 years paying for it.

I grew up in a narcissistic household. I walked out at 15 with nothing but myself and a decision. I put myself through school, worked full time, and built my own life from the ground up. And then I walked straight into a narcissistic marriage — because the chaos was the only love language I had ever been taught.

For 25 more years I asked myself what I was doing wrong.

And then one day I stopped asking what was wrong with me — and started looking at the patterns.

That is when I saw it. It wasn't random. It wasn't moods. It was a system. A very specific, very consistent, very intentional system of control.

This is why I wrote The Anatomy of Control: Inside the Mind of a Narcissist. Because nobody should spend 50 years inside a system they didn't know existed.

📖 The Anatomy of Control on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Control-Inside-Mind-Narcissist/dp/B0G1M7P65H

🌐 All books, episodes & resources:

SheRisesFromAshes.com

📅 Work with me 1:1:

https://tr.ee/hJRKu3hkgK

Steady Fire with M. Martin is available on Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, and YouTube.

Today is my daughter's 27th birthday. And I want to talk about something that most people don't realize about narcissistic abuse when it involves children — it doesn't stop when they turn 18.

I grew up in a narcissistic household. Birthdays weren't celebrated. Holidays came and went. And then I got married — and it was the exact same pattern. There was always a reason. Always too busy. Always a woulda, coulda, shoulda.

You learn not to expect it. But you never stop hoping.

Now I'm watching my daughter go through the same thing at 27. And that is what this episode is about. The narcissistic parent who performs devotion for the world while their child lives a completely different reality. The way that child gets replaced by new supply. And the hope that never fully dies — no matter how many times they don't show up.

That hope is not a weakness. That is what narcissistic abuse does to someone who loves.

This is why I wrote When Love Becomes Leverage.

📖 When Love Becomes Leverage on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/WHEN-LOVE-BECOMES-LEVERAGE-Understanding/dp/B0G1RXRN1Q

🌐 All books, episodes & resources:

SheRisesFromAshes.com

📅 Work with me 1:1:

https://tr.ee/hJRKu3hkgK

Steady Fire with M. Martin is available on Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, and YouTube.