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That's Where I'm At

That's Where I'm At

By: Laura Richards
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Welcome to "That's Where I'm At" with your host, Laura Richards! Join Laura Richards, a survivor of narcissistic abuse with 33 years experience, as she guides you through the journey of identifying, healing from, and thriving after emotional and psychological abuse. With a mission to raise awareness, foster emotional recovery, and empower you to love yourself, Laura brings honesty, compassion, and a touch of humor to every episode. Dive into deep, meaningful conversations, tackle tough topics, and uncover moments of hope and healing. Our supportive community is here for you, offering insights, support, and a shared path to recovery and empowerment. Subscribe now and be part of a transformative journey that's messy, real, and truly inspiring!2023 Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • EP 88: Recognizing and Escaping a Narcissistic Abuser in a Christian Marriage with Liberty Steele

    EP 88: Recognizing and Escaping a Narcissistic Abuser in a Christian Marriage with Liberty Steele
    Jul 1 2026
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura welcomes Liberty Steele, author of Redeemed Years: From Narcissistic Darkness to Light. Believing she was entering a Christ-centered marriage, Liberty instead spent six years trapped in a relationship marked by narcissistic abuse, emotional manipulation, subtle physical abuse, and isolation. She shares how love bombing, inadequate support from church counselors, and the misuse of religious teachings kept her trapped, while her abuse was repeatedly dismissed as postpartum depression. After finding freedom, healing, and experiencing the joy of a healthy marriage, Liberty now shares her story through her book and her platform, Shine From Your Shadows, to help others recognize abuse, know they are not alone, and find hope for a brighter future. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction: Liberty Steele (00:01:29) Laura welcomes Liberty Steele, who shares her story of surviving a narcissistic marriage and finding freedom, healing, and hope. The Isolation of Abuse in a Church Community (00:02:23) Liberty explains why she shares her story, highlighting the isolating experience of abuse within a church community. Inadequate Church Counseling (00:04:23) Liberty describes receiving unhelpful advice from church counselors who prioritized reconciliation over her safety, even when she was locked out. Subtle Physical Abuse (00:05:27) Liberty details the subtle physical abuse she endured, like random biting and spanking, which intentionally crossed her established boundaries. Misinterpreting Scripture on Divorce (00:06:23) The discussion covers how scripture, particularly "God hates divorce," is often misconstrued to keep women in abusive relationships. The Dangers of Uninformed Counselors (00:09:08) Laura shares a story about a pastor whose uninformed counseling led to a woman being murdered by her abusive husband. Meeting on a Christian Dating Site (00:12:00) Liberty recounts meeting her ex-husband on Christian Mingle, where he mirrored her desires and engaged in love bombing. Early Red Flags and Ignoring Intuition (00:15:14) Liberty describes feeling uncomfortable with the rushed physical intimacy on their first meeting but dismissing her gut feelings. Moving and Mom's Premonition (00:20:05) Liberty moved across the country for him within five months, despite her mother's strong sense that something was wrong. Extended Premarital Counseling (00:22:06) Counseling lasted nearly a year due to significant issues, including his escalating temper, which was wrongly attributed to PTSD. The Bait and Switch Proposal (00:25:01) He proposed, then used the counselors' advice to "check in" with his ex-wife as an opportunity to cheat. The Honeymoon Incident (00:29:25) The honeymoon began with him raging at her on the plane, leaving her sobbing in the hotel bathtub. The Cycle of Abuse Begins (00:34:00) Liberty describes how the cycle of abuse, forgiveness, and forgetting started on the honeymoon, setting the marriage's tone. The First Year of Marriage (00:36:04) The first year was filled with emotional abuse, including withholding affection and giving the silent treatment for weeks. A Story of Betrayal and Isolation (00:38:06) Liberty shares a story of being harassed by a neighbor while her husband refused to defend her, blaming her instead. Compromising to Reconcile (00:42:23) Liberty recounts being forced into a degrading sexual act to end the silent treatment, with little support from counselors. The Problem with Couples Counseling in Abuse (00:44:18) The host explains why couples counseling is dangerous in abusive relationships, as abusers manipulate therapists and continue the abuse. The Impact of Having a Baby (00:50:05) The abuse escalated after their baby was born, disguised as postpartum depression, and included severe sleep deprivation. Writing "Redeem Years" and Finding Hope (00:53:59) Liberty discusses writing her book, which offers a practical toolkit and a story of hope after finding a healthy marriage. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Liberty, "It was such an isolating experience for me. You don't feel quite safe sharing it in your church community, and you're not sure who is going to accept you or support you." Liberty, "I wasn't listening to my gut, my Holy Spirit discretion." Liberty, "I was asking God what was going on. How could this person who just promised to love me my whole life treat me like he hated me?" Liberty, "It even sounds crazy when you try to think of how to describe this kind of torture to other people. You don't know how to describe it in a way that they would think it was actually believable." Liberty, "The grief has taught me how much of a gift real love and real partnership is, and that people shouldn't give up on hoping for it." RESOURCES: FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ COACH WITH LAURA: https://...
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    58 mins
  • EP 87: Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola on Coercive Control and How Protective Parents Can Heal the Damage

    EP 87: Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola on Coercive Control and How Protective Parents Can Heal the Damage
    Jun 24 2026
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, a therapeutic parenting and divorce custody coach, social justice advocate, and survivor of coercive control. Drawing from both her professional expertise and lived experience, Dr. Christine developed The Protective Parenting Program, an evidence-based, attachment-focused model that helps parents support children harmed by abusive partners. She is an internationally recognized educator on coercive control, presenting to professionals, advocates, and protective parents on the dynamics of abuse and effective intervention strategies. She is also the author of Every Moment of Every Day, co-author of FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld, and her TEDx talk, It Is ALL Coercive Control, has been viewed more than 1.4 million times. During the conversation, Dr. Christine shares her personal journey through nearly 30 years of psychological abuse and explains how coercive control extends beyond intimate relationships to manipulate children, families, and even court systems. She discusses tactics such as triangulation, reactive abuse, and the challenges protective parents face while navigating custody disputes. Together, Laura and Dr. Christine explore the critical role of the protective parent, emphasizing that unconditional love, secure attachment, and emotional safety are some of the most powerful tools for helping children heal from abuse. They also discuss grief, rebuilding trust, and restoring family bonds after leaving an abusive relationship, offering hope and practical guidance for survivors seeking to break the cycle of coercive control. Key Topics & Timestamps Introducing Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola (00:01:34) The host introduces guest Dr. Cocchiola, detailing her expertise in coercive control, protective parenting, and her professional work. Dr. Cocchiola Personal Story (00:03:30) Dr. Cocchiola shares how she became an advocate at 19 and later realized she was in a coercively controlling relationship. The Abuser's Playbook (00:05:04) The speakers discuss how abusers follow a predictable pattern of behavior, which can help victims anticipate their next moves. Repairing Relationships with Children (00:06:38) Laura discusses repairing her relationship with her adult children after leaving her marriage and apologizing for her reactive behavior. Reframing "Reactive Abuse" (00:07:45) Dr. Cocchiola reframes "reactive abuse" as self-defense, explaining that victims' reactions are out of character and caused by trauma. How People End Up in Abusive Relationships (00:10:06) The speakers discuss how upbringing, whether good or bad, doesn't always predict who will end up in an abusive relationship. Supporting Children After They Visit the Abuser (00:12:41) Dr. Cocchiola explains how protective parents can co-regulate with their children and understand their behavior is a mouthpiece for the abuser. Defining Coercive Control (00:16:25) Dr. Cocchiola defines coercive control, explaining it includes psychological tactics, financial abuse, legal abuse, and weaponizing children. The Smear Campaign (02:11:04) Laura shares her experience of discovering her ex-partner's long-term smear campaign against her after their divorce. Identifying Power Dynamics in Therapy (00:24:36) Dr. Cocchiola demonstrates how a therapist can identify a power imbalance by asking specific questions about the relationship dynamics. The Dangers of Couples Counseling (00:27:06) Laura shares her negative experience with a marriage counselor who dismissed her concerns and sided with her ex-husband. Securing Attachment with Your Child (00:31:32) Dr. Cocchiola emphasizes creating a secure attachment by allowing children to be their authentic selves and providing unconditional love. Abusers Fracturing Family Relationships (00:35:34) The discussion covers how abusers triangulate and pit siblings against each other to maintain control and isolate family members. The Grief of Protective Parents (00:38:54) Dr. Cocchiola talks about the immense and disenfranchised grief protective parents experience when their relationship with their children is harmed. Hope for Protective Parents (00:46:04) Dr. Cocchiola offers a message of hope, reminding protective parents that they are their child's greatest healer and superpower. How to Connect with Dr. Cocchiola (00:48:18) Dr. Cocchiola shares where listeners can find her work, including her website, podcast, and TEDx talk. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Christine, "I would get rid of the word reactive abuse because when you are trapped in the den with the wolf, at some point you're going to fight back." Christine, "I'm here to say there's no judgment if you stay. People stay for a variety of reasons, and sometimes they have to." Christine, "The mothering that we all plan to be, the mothering we thought we'd all get to do—it's robbed from you." Christine, "I want you to realize that you are your ...
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    50 mins
  • EP 86: How Does Trauma Get Stored in the Body and How Can Somatic Healing Help? with Courtney Copeland

    EP 86: How Does Trauma Get Stored in the Body and How Can Somatic Healing Help? with Courtney Copeland
    Jun 17 2026
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Courtney Copeland, an Integrative Somatic Practitioner, trauma educator, and advocate who brings laughter, healing, and empowerment to clients and audiences around the world. With a Master's Degree in Human Services Counseling and certifications in Integrative Somatic Healing, Thought Field Therapy Algorithms, and other trauma-informed modalities, Courtney combines professional expertise with lived experience to help people understand how trauma impacts both the mind and body. Her work has included serving as Co-Clinical Director for the Tidewater Emergency Medical Services Critical Incident Stress Management team and providing mental health and crisis intervention training for first responders. Together, Laura and Courtney explore how trauma is stored in the body and often manifests as physical symptoms, as well as the role of modalities such as EMDR, somatic therapy, and nervous system regulation in the healing process. Courtney explains how laughter, crying, movement, and other body-centered practices can help release trapped emotions and support recovery. They also discuss the importance of finding the right therapist, advocating for your needs in the healing journey, and building a personalized toolkit for resilience and growth. Drawing from both her professional background and real-life experiences, Courtney offers practical, compassionate insights designed to help listeners feel seen, understood, and empowered. She also shares details about her upcoming podcast, Trauma Intersections, and her program, Start With Just One Breath, which provides accessible, body-centered tools for navigating trauma and healing. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction: Courtney Copeland (00:01:20) Laura introduces guest Courtney Copeland, an integrative somatic practitioner, and her holistic approach to processing trauma stored in the body. Courtney's Journey into Trauma Work (00:02:18) Courtney shares her personal story of becoming a trauma professional after a career change and her education in Human Services. How Trauma is Stored in the Body (00:03:19) An explanation of how the body keeps a record of trauma, sometimes causing emotional immaturity and physical ailments. Identifying and Processing Stored Trauma (00:04:46) Courtney explains her approach to helping clients identify and process past traumatic events that are affecting their present behavior. Understanding EMDR (00:08:50) The discussion covers EMDR therapy, how it works without reliving trauma, and its origins from a walk in the park. The Importance of Professional Guidance (00:11:55) Courtney advises working with a trained professional for deep trauma work like EMDR to ensure safety and proper guidance. What is a Somatic Practitioner? (00:14:29) Courtney explains somatic work, which uses the body's senses and holistic practices to help release stored trauma and tension. The Body's Physical Release of Trauma (00:17:44) Discussion on how physical activities like yoga and deep breathing can trigger the release of trapped emotions through shaking or crying. Finding the Right Therapist (00:20:31) The importance of finding a therapist who is a good fit and knowing when it's time to move on. The Role of the Therapist (00:26:06) A therapist's job is to remain professional and supportive, creating a safe space for the client's story and emotions. The Catharsis of Crying (00:27:39) Crying is a natural way the body regulates its nervous system and releases emotions, and it shouldn't be suppressed. Self-Care After an Emotional Release (00:30:10) Courtney provides tips for self-care after a big emotional release, including nutrition, hydration, rest, and positive self-talk. The Healing Power of Laughter (00:32:57) Laughter is a powerful tool for healing as it helps regulate breathing and brings light into dark emotional spaces. Using Your Healing Toolkit (00:37:49) Healing involves using multiple tools and modalities; it's important to find what works for you and build a diverse toolkit. Advocating for Yourself in Therapy (00:44:52) Listeners are empowered to ask therapists about their training and to leave if it's not a good fit. Inner Child Work (00:48:05) The validity and healing power of inner child work, which involves comforting and reparenting the younger parts of yourself. The Gut-Brain Connection (00:52:44) Courtney explains how emotional distress often manifests physically in the gut due to the vagus nerve's extensive network. Courtney's Upcoming Projects (00:53:24) Courtney announces her new podcast, "Trauma Intersections," and two upcoming signature programs focused on healing and self-care. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Courtney, "I had an episode myself where I didn't have the support that I needed, so I went to grad school and became the person that I needed at that time." Courtney, "I let all that go. I'm proud of myself for letting that go. You don't ...
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    56 mins
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