Jackie’s in a mood after being continuously serenaded by Shakira seven days a week and discusses the most recent kerfuffle in the backyard renovation, her murderous Andrew fantasies, and her ability to perceive dark energy in the brightest of places.

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Jackie is hunkered down against toxic smoke and gives an update on the backyard renovation, ridicules Andrew’s new recreational basketball league, and marvels at his lack of wedding music knowledge.

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Jackie gets baptized after a demonic bowl of poke, discussed the highly anticipated sequel to "Frankly, Anne" and offers free public relation guidance to Rachel Hollis and Khloe Kardashian.

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