What if leaving the relationship doesn’t mean you’re free? In this episode, we continue The Vampire Effect series and explore what happens after prolonged exposure to covert narcissistic abuse—when you feel numb, disconnected, and like something inside of you has changed. Many survivors describe feeling “dead inside,” questioning who they are, and wondering if they’ve lost themselves completely.

Using the powerful metaphor of Dracula, we break down the concept of becoming “undead”—not fully yourself, but not gone either—and why this emotional numbness is not a sign that something is wrong with you, but a sign that your mind and body have been trying to protect you. We also dive into the unsettling reality of how the narcissist’s voice can continue to live inside your thoughts, shaping your perceptions long after the relationship shifts or even ends.

If you’ve ever questioned your reactions, felt disconnected from yourself, or wondered why you can’t just “move on,” this episode will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface—and why healing is not about fixing yourself, but about reclaiming what was never truly lost.

Visit www.covertnarcissism.com for additional resources.

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if covert narcissistic abuse doesn’t feel like an attack… but like a slow drain?

In this episode, we explore The Vampire Effect—a powerful metaphor that reveals how covert narcissists gradually consume your energy, clarity, and sense of self without you even realizing it. Through the lens of Dracula, you’ll begin to see how manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional exhaustion create a dynamic where you become weaker while they appear stronger.

We’ll break down the subtle ways this happens, why you may have felt confused or “sick” instead of recognizing the abuse, and how these relationships can feel like a labyrinth you were never meant to escape.

If you’ve ever wondered why you felt drained, lost, or unable to leave… this episode will help you understand why—and begin to take your power back. Visit www.covertnarcissism.com for additional resources.

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Why do you still miss someone who hurt you? If you’ve experienced covert narcissistic abuse, this question can feel confusing, frustrating, and even shameful. You can see the manipulation, the gaslighting, and the emotional abuse clearly—so why does part of you still feel pulled back?

In this episode, we explore why healing from covert narcissistic abuse feels so confusing and what’s actually happening inside of you. Using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework, you’ll learn how different “parts” of you—like the ones that miss them, doubt yourself, or crave relief—are not a sign that something is wrong, but a form of internal communication.

I’ll walk you step-by-step through the 6 F’s of IFS (Find, Focus, Flesh, Feel, Befriend, Fear) so you can begin to understand your internal world with more clarity, compassion, and confidence.

If you’ve ever thought:

• “Why do I still miss them?”
• “Why do I feel pulled back even though I know the truth?”
• “Why is healing from narcissistic abuse so confusing?”

This episode will help you make sense of the war inside you—and begin to find peace. Visit www.covertnarcissism.com for more resources.

DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you’re trying to heal from covert narcissistic abuse but feel unsure about your next step, this episode will meet you where you are. In part 2 of this CNG Community Chat, we explore what it looks like to move forward without rushing a life-changing decision.

This conversation dives into the deeper layers of recovery, including guilt, responsibility, and the impact on children. We also talk about the reality of co-parenting or parallel parenting with a covert narcissist, and why healing often begins long before someone leaves the relationship.

You’ll hear honest reflections on learning to trust yourself again, letting go of pressure from others, and taking one step at a time toward clarity and peace.

If you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure whether to stay or leave, this episode will remind you that you are allowed to move at your own pace—and that pausing can be a powerful part of healing. Visit www.covertnarcissism.com for additional resources.

DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Why do you still miss them… even after everything you’ve been through?

If you’ve experienced covert narcissistic abuse, you may find yourself stuck in an internal battle—one part of you sees the truth clearly, while another part still longs for connection, hope, or what you thought the relationship was. This emotional conflict can feel confusing, frustrating, and even shameful.

In this episode, we explore why that inner war exists and how understanding your internal system can bring clarity and relief. Using the framework of Internal Family Systems (IFS), you’ll learn how different “parts” of you—managers, firefighters, and wounded exiles—work together to protect you from emotional pain, even when their strategies no longer serve you.

This episode will help you stop asking “What’s wrong with me?” and start understanding what’s happening inside you. If you’ve ever struggled with letting go, second-guessing yourself, or feeling pulled in two directions after a toxic relationship, this conversation will give you a new way to make sense of it all.

DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you’re in a relationship that feels confusing, overwhelming, or emotionally draining, you may be wondering if you’re dealing with covert narcissism—and whether you should stay or leave. In this part one of the CNG Community Chat, we explore why that decision can feel so difficult and why you don’t have to rush it.

Through a real community conversation, we talk about the emotional toll of covert narcissistic abuse, including self-doubt, guilt, fear, and the pressure to figure everything out right away. You’ll hear honest stories from women at different stages of this journey—some still in the relationship, others navigating life after leaving—and how they are learning to reclaim clarity and peace.

If you feel stuck in a relationship, questioning your reality, or unsure of your next step, this episode will help you understand why pausing is not weakness—it’s a powerful part of healing. Visit www.covertnarcissism.com for additional resources.

DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Last week’s episode explored why covert narcissism appears to be thriving in today’s culture and the conditions that allow these behaviors to remain hidden. In this follow-up episode, we bring the conversation closer to everyday life.

If covert narcissistic dynamics can hide so easily in our culture, how do you begin recognizing them in your own interactions?

In this episode, Renee Swanson shares five questions you can quietly ask yourself when something feels confusing or off in a relationship. These patterns are often discussed in romantic partnerships, but they can also appear with friends, coworkers, and family members.

Rather than focusing on diagnosing someone else, these questions help you pay attention to your own experience — how conversations unfold, how you feel afterward, and whether your voice and needs are being respected.

If you often leave interactions feeling confused, guilty, or like something didn’t quite add up, this episode may help you begin seeing those dynamics more clearly. You may recognize one of these patterns sooner than you expect.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In relationships with a covert narcissist, control doesn’t always appear as obvious demands. Instead, it often shows up through a confusing set of small, unwritten "rules" that quietly shape everyday life. The problems come not from preferences. We all have preferences. But with a covert narcissist, these are rules with punishments.

In this episode, Renee shares real responses from her CNG Facebook community about the strangest and most confusing rules they were expected to follow while living with covert narcissistic dynamics. Rules about lights, groceries, TV remotes, bedtime, friendships, and even which gas station or soda was allowed in the house.

Individually these rules may seem small, but together they create a system of control that forces one person to constantly adjust, anticipate reactions, and second-guess themselves. If you’ve ever felt like you were always breaking rules you didn’t know existed, this episode may bring clarity to your experience.

If you are navigating this nightmare, coaching with someone who "gets" it can make all the difference in the world! Join me at https://www.covertnarcissism.com/coaching-program

DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.