Adult children of narcissists parents often struggle to name what happened to them.

In this episode, I’m joined again by Dr. Rachna Buxani, and we’re exploring the different faces of narcissism — and why it can be so hard to recognise.

While many people can spot the grandiose narcissist — the constant need to be the centre of attention, the arrogance, the lack of empathy — it’s the other, quieter forms of narcissism, that often go unnoticed and can be most confusing.

In this episode we explore more covert (or vulnerable) narcissism—the “poor me” dynamic, where someone positions themselves as the victim, appearing sensitive or misunderstood, while quietly centring everything around their own needs.

This can show up as guilt-tripping, emotional withdrawal, stonewalling and blame-shifting that leaves you feeling responsible for their pain.

We also look at communal narcissism — where the narcissist is widely seen as generous and selfless. They can be deeply admired in their community, yet behind closed doors it's a complexity different story. There is a constant need for admiration, validation and control. This makes the relationship confusing and one-sided — and you doubt yourself, especially when your experience doesn’t match how the world sees them.

This conversation about making sense of what you’ve lived through — so you can begin to rebuild self-trust, set boundaries, and reconnect with your voice.

Unseen - A Therapist's Reflection on a Daughter's Journey Through a Narcissistic Father's Shadow

Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast