In this episode of the Foster Friendly Podcast, hosts Brian, Courtney, and Travis discuss the I Belong Project, a program aimed at helping children in foster care find families. This is a unique episode because some of the stories shared on this episode come from our staff on the ground in various states across the country. The hosts listen and react and also share their own personal stories and insights from their experiences in foster care and adoption, highlighting the importance of storytelling and social media in raising awareness and engaging potential adoptive families. The conversation emphasizes the need for better matching of children with families and the challenges faced by kids in the foster care system.

The hosts discuss the challenges faced by hard-to-place children in the foster care system, the importance of creative advocacy in finding families for these children, the significance of sibling bonds in the adoption process, and the complex emotions surrounding grief and loss in adoption. They emphasize the need for awareness and compassion in addressing the needs of these children and the families that support them.

Learn more about about our I Belong Project and meet kids waiting for adoptive families:

https://americaskidsbelong.org/meet-the-kids/

Takeaways

• Courtney has been a foster mom for 18 years.
• The I Belong Project helps children find families through storytelling.
• Social media plays a crucial role in raising awareness.
• Many families inquire about children they see in videos.
• The project has filmed over 4,258 kids without turning anyone down.
• Kids in foster care often wait years for adoption.
• The best advocates for children are the children themselves.
• Matching families to children is a critical process.
• The project has led to increased inquiries from first-time foster parents.
• There is a family for every child, and connections can be biological. Kids who are hard to place often wait a long time for families.
• Reunification efforts may fail, leading to the need for adoption.
• Many hard-to-place kids have special needs or siblings they want to stay with.
• Creative advocacy can change perceptions and outcomes for children.
• Siblings being separated in adoption is a common but challenging issue.
• Keeping siblings together can provide emotional support during adoption.
• Adoption comes with grief for biological families and foster families.
• Understanding the grief involved in adoption is crucial for adoptive families.
• Adoptive parents often face their own grief while supporting their children.
• The journey to adoption can lead to unexpected family connections.

In this conversation, Patton Dodd shares insights from his memoir about fatherhood (The Father You Get), exploring his relationship with his father and the impact of father figures in one's life. The conversation also explores the complexities of father figures, personal expectations, and the importance of presence in parenting. Patton discusses his own journey of becoming a dad, the emotional challenges he faced, and the significance of being fully present for children as dads.

Follow Patton's work and checkout his book:
https://pattondodd.com/

Takeaways

• We wanted to talk to people about poverty and inequality.
• We use stories to facilitate conversations.
• We've generated an audience who care about these issues.
• We're not pushing towards particular policy outcomes.
• We're trying to get people to become more aware.
• I was haunted by my dad's story.
• I felt a little bit of boldness to write.
• I didn't really know my father until I researched him.
• You don't become the way my dad was without trauma.
• Father figures aren't just mentors, you create them. I gave him a lot; I expected him to be something he was never going to be.
• Part of the answer to anxiety is just listening to the stories of other dads.
• What’s needed is not to feel like you know how to do it, but to keep showing up.
• Presence comes from deep within; you have to choose to be attentive.
• You can do a lot of dutiful stuff and be completely absent-minded about it.
• Fathers play an essential role that can't just be replaced.
• We are wired for fatherhood; it's part of our evolution.
• Little moments become the big moments in life.
• You have to actually choose to be attentive to your children.
• It's important to be all in during those moments with your kids.

In this episode of the Foster Friendly Podcast, hosts Courtney Williams and Travis Vangsnes welcome Kayla Moffitt, a dedicated mother of five and a TBRI practitioner. The conversation begins with Kayla sharing her journey from being a youth pastor to becoming a foster parent, highlighting the challenges and joys of welcoming five siblings into her home overnight. Kayla discusses the emotional complexities of parenting children from traumatic backgrounds, particularly the grief she experienced when her father passed away just as her new children were moving in. The hosts and Kayla delve into the importance of understanding trauma-informed care and the necessity of regulating one's own emotions as a parent to create a safe environment for children who have faced significant hardships.

As the discussion progresses, Kayla emphasizes the need for community support for foster families, sharing her experiences with both helpful and unhelpful forms of assistance. She stresses that love alone is not enough; foster parents must also be equipped with knowledge and resources to effectively support their children. The episode concludes with Kayla offering practical advice for future foster parents, urging them to meet children where they are emotionally and to be patient as they navigate the complexities of building trust and relationships. This heartfelt conversation is a testament to the resilience of foster families and the importance of community in the foster care journey.

Follow Kayla on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/makingthemoffitts/

Checkout our free trauma training workshop:
https://americaskidsbelong.org/lp/trauma-sensitivity-workshop-training/

Takeaways:

• Love is not enough; understanding is crucial.
• Meet children where they are emotionally.
• Community support is vital for foster families.
• Regulate yourself before attempting to regulate a child.
• Foster parents need tangible help, not just good intentions.