In this episode, Carly and Raleigh explore the difference between fear-based faith and love-rooted obedience — and why so many sincere believers struggle to tell the difference.

God’s Promise from Micah 6:8 “What does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

Carly shares a story from her past about a conversation with an ex-boyfriend regarding Mass attendance: If we’re practicing our faith primarily out of fear, are we missing the point of the Gospel?

From there, we define two common spiritual struggles:

• Legalism- The belief that God’s love must be earned through perfect performance — following traditions, rules, or a “rule of life” strictly out of duty rather than love or intention.
• Scrupulosity- A disordered fear of sin that distorts God’s mercy, often leading to anxiety, self-punishment, and despair rather than freedom.

Many saints — and many people earnestly trying to follow Christ — fall into legalism and scrupulosity because they want to please God.

God can appear harsh in Scripture when misunderstood. The world is often harsh and demanding. Authority figures in our lives can sometimes model severity instead of mercy. All of this can make it difficult to trust God — who is authority itself — as gentle, patient, and kind.

Saint Spotlight: St. Jane de Chantal a powerful example of how God heals perfectionism through gentleness.

Born in France in 1572. Lost her mother early in life. Later widowed after having six children, two of whom also died.

Overwhelmed by grief, she became extremely strict with herself and her household. Turned to intense penances, rigid prayer schedules, and self-punishment in an attempt to regain control.

Through the guidance of St. Francis de Sales, her spiritual director, she learned three life-changing truths:

1. God desires gentleness

2. Holiness grows through patience with weakness

3. Love must be free

Together, they founded the Order of the Visitation of Holy Mary, created especially for women who were widowed or physically unable to sustain demanding religious life.

“Nothing is so strong as gentleness; nothing so gentle as true strength.” - St. Jane de Chantal is the patron saint of those who struggle with perfectionism.

Key Faith Takeaways

1. A well-formed conscience helps us live God’s commandments in love, not anxiety.

2. Jesus consistently challenged rigid interpretations of the law in the Gospels.

3. The Pharisees remind us what happens when rules are prioritized over mercy, justice, and faith.

4. The Book of Micah calls us back to a God who desires freedom, humility, and relationship — not fear-based obedience.

5. God does not ask us to earn His love or our salvation.

Practical Recommendations for Healing

1. Go to Confession regularly

2. Speak honestly with a priest or spiritual director

3. Practice conversational prayer

4. Read gentle, trustworthy spiritual works

5. Find an accountability partner who reminds you of God’s goodness when fear creeps in

Reflection Question: When you think about your spiritual life, are you filled with anxiety and a sense of loss? Do you believe you are beloved by a gentle, loving God?

Scripture Passages References

“Therefore, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10

Recommended Resources

The Heart of Perfection — Colleen Carroll Campbell

Introduction to the Devout Life — St. Francis de Sales

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In today’s episode, we’re diving into a big question: how do different movements within the Church enrich or challenge our faith?

We begin with God’s promises in Deuteronomy 7:6–7, 9, where we’re reminded that God chooses His people not because of their greatness or numbers, but because of His faithfulness and love. That sets the tone for our conversation about unity, identity, and belonging within the Church.

Throughout the episode, we use Terri and Terry from Monsters University as a fun analogy for two major spiritualities in the Catholic Church: Traditional Latin Mass Catholics and Charismatic Catholics. Like the conjoined twins, these groups can seem wildly different in personality and expression, but they’re still connected to the same body and ultimately moving toward the same goal — a deeper relationship with Christ.

We spend some time clarifying vocabulary because terms like “Traditional Catholic,” “Rad Trad,” and “Charismatic” can carry a lot of assumptions. We talk about how Traditional Catholics are often deeply drawn to the Church’s historic liturgy and reverence, especially the Traditional Latin Mass, while “Rad Trads” tend to represent a stricter or more separatist mindset. On the other side, we explore the Charismatic Renewal movement that grew after Vatican II and emphasizes the active presence of the Holy Spirit through expressive worship, contemporary music, and spiritual gifts.

From there, we walk through three major differences between these groups: liturgy, doctrine, and community worship style. We discuss how Traditionalists often value structure, precision, and reverence, while Charismatics lean toward spontaneity, personal conversion, and experiential prayer. Even though those differences can create tension, we also reflect on how they reveal the richness and diversity within Catholic spirituality.

Most importantly, we talk about what these groups actually share. Despite the external contrasts, both traditions are deeply devoted to Christ, committed to the Church, and passionate about prayer and evangelization.

By the end of the episode, we come back to the idea that the Catholic Church has always made room for different spiritual expressions. Instead of focusing on which group is “right,” we challenge ourselves to appreciate the beauty of that diversity while staying rooted in Christ and the core truths of the faith.

Reflection Question: What does the diversity of worship look like within your church community? Within your own prayer life?

Have a “grind” you want us to discuss in future episodes?
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In this episode, Carly and Raleigh break down the Catholic perspective of wellness culture.

Carly shares her personal postpartum journey, touching on nutrition, exercise, yoga, and vegetarianism. Together, she and Raleigh examine how Catholics can approach wellness thoughtfully: discerning God’s will for the body, integrating healthy habits as spiritual practices, and staying aware of the cultural messages that shape our choices.

Main Question: What’s a Catholic to think about wellness culture? In what ways can fitness, nutrition, or homemaking become spiritual practices?

God’s Promises from 1 Thessalonians 5:23

“May the God of peace himself make you perfectly holy and may you entirely, spirit, soul, and body, be preserved blameless for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Carly’s postpartum journey

• Navigating nutrition and exercise through a Catholic lens
• Questions around yoga, vegetarianism, and caring for the body
• Discerning God’s will in how we use our bodies
• Where wellness culture aligns with Catholic spirituality—and where it clashes

Reflection Question: Are there any dangers in following the classic sayings: “follow your heart” or “do what feels right”?

References:
<>< https://www.jamesmatthewwilson.com/
<>< Catechism of the Catholic Church 364 The human body shares in the dignity of "the image of God": it is a human body precisely because it is animated by a spiritual soul, and it is the whole human person that is intended to become, in the body of Christ, a temple of the Spirit...
<>< Catechism of the Catholic Church367 Sometimes the soul is distinguished from the spirit: St. Paul for instance prays that God may sanctify his people "wholly", with "spirit and soul and body" kept sound and blameless at the Lord's coming.236 The Church teaches that this distinction does not introduce a duality into the soul.237 "Spirit" signifies that from creation man is ordered to a supernatural end and that his soul can gratuitously be raised beyond all it deserves to communion with God.

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